what is love?

[shauna]

i'm new to the forum. i have been dating my boyfriend for over 4 months. we were friends for about 7 years prior to dating. we exchanged "i love yous" about 2 months into the relationship. i feel as though i do truly love him, but there are many things that i do not like about him. i'm sure this is very normal for a relationship of any kind. my boyfriend can be arrogant, over confident, and fall prey to peer pressure easily. i know everyone has their faults. i have even discussed this with him, but he always shrugs it off and says "those are my faults". he almost takes pride in them. am i being too petty or critical of him? i try not to make a big deal about it and ignore it, but it really does drive me nuts. he seems to get very arrogant around our friends. the worse part is that arrogance totally turns me off. when we are alone, he is sweet, funny, and everything i want. i suppose it maybe possible that he is insecure and trying to make up for it while around others. i would appreciate any opinions/ideas or any similar stories anyone has to help me out or at least work through it. i really don't want to break up with him over something this silly. thanks.

[Illusional]

one way around this would be not to be around him when he are with his friends. you might want to tell him that you love his friends but when he is with them, he turns into a totally different person that it's not who you love him for. everyone is usually different when they are around their friends, but he should also be aware of your concerns. my ex told me once that i she didn't like it when i used to drink a lot and in turn, i think i might have cut down...haha only a little if anything, but if he cares, then it will affect him if you tell him straight foward. raverboy

[IceQueen]

Read my journal. I wrote about exactly that.
The short version is -- if you are in doubt, love it isn't.

As for your particular situation, you are right to voice your criticisms about his behavior, because to work on something he has to know it bothers you first.

[des21]

We all have faults, that much is true but hopefully you'll be able to find someone who is willing to work at them and not just shrug them off.