LEARN to LOVE??

[shadowboxer]

This question isn't directed towards me but I am kind of curious to see what responses you guys have....

A friend of mine is with this amazing guy that will do anything for her but she still looks around (never cheats but is always looking for something "new and exciting" as she puts it).

She says he is so great that she doesn't want to give him up because she will learn to love him in time. She said she is sure she will fall in love with him someday because of how great he is (she says everything is great emotionally, physically etc but there is no spark or butterflies etc).

I'm kind of pissed because he is the kind of guy that I've always wanted but girls like her get to first and then I get them after they've been jaded.

So I guess back to the original question....

Is it seriously possible to love someone in time? Learn to fall in love with them?

Somehow I don't think this is very fair and I don't know how to give advice to her or him in a nice manner...

Input....thanks

[vashti]

I think it IS possible. That is how arranged marriages work.

By the way, there's nothing to say that this guy would like you if he weren't involved with your friend.

Also, if your friend's point of view is that offensive to you, you ought to look for friends whose values are more in line with yours.

[pokmin100]

hmm, my friend ben has had somethign like this happen to him. he and his GF have stated they were BF and GF for a while, but never did anything together. for 2 years, they didn't do anything, an now they do. i asked him for an explanation, and he just said, "because we love each other now." i by "do stuff" i mean "going out."

so, it is very posible.

[Venacava]

Maybe it is possible. But I do see what you're saying. However, I don't really think it's any of your business to be telling her what she's doing wrong. He obviously likes her and if she's willing to put in the effort to learn to "love him", then that's up to her.
In my opinion, even when you're in a relationship ; you still look. In all honesty, who doesn't? You meet another person and you think "Yeah I can imagine being with them" etc, or "they seem nice", it's only natural to have thoughts like that, it's not necessarily dishonest or wrong because we can't help the way we feel.
If she was to cheat on him, then maybe I think you would have good reason to say something to her! But it's her life and her loss if she loses this guy due to her dishonesty.
You don't have to agree with her, but she is your friend - so remember that. Jealously is ugly and you shouldn't be so worried about the type of guy that you never get. Maybe the reason you don't get the guy you want is because you take second best. I dunno.