I'm shy and klutzy around my boyfriend. - Love Forum

BertIsMyHomeboy · #1 (**permalink**) 12-07-05, 04:22 AM

Before my boyfriend and I went out, he was always shy around me. Even though I'm shy, I found no problem talking to him. We've been going out for almost 6 months now and I've noticed that he's not shy at all and I'm the one who doesn't talk much. I've also realized that I'm very klutzy around him and can't seem to talk straight. For example, I was hanging out with one of my friends yesterday and since I'm comfortable around her, we were talking a lot and it was great. After we picked my boyfriend up, I became more quiet and when I did talk, the most stupid things would come out of my mouth. Usually when that happens, my boyfriend likes to tease me. The weird part is that I only seem to act this way when other people are around. Him and I will be by ourselves and I'm not as shy, but get other people near me and I act different. It's rather annoying and I don't know what to do about it.

TAVS · #2 (**permalink**) 12-07-05, 04:29 AM

Do you two have a lot in common? This scenario sounds a lot like one I was in many years ago where we were good friends and lovers but were just too different in the end. It was always a struggle coming up with good conversation. For example, I was attending college and she was a high school drop out.

BertIsMyHomeboy · #3 (**permalink**) 12-07-05, 04:58 AM

We do have things in common, but we're also very different. It doesn't seem to be as much of a problem when we're alone, just when there's other people around. I guess it also depends on the mood we're in. I'm more of a one-on-one kind of person when it comes to talking to others.

Tone · #4 (**permalink**) 12-07-05, 05:01 AM

Might just take time for you to get more comfortable with him being your boyfriend so you realize there is no need to be shy about it around other people.

TenorTwo · #5 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 08:58 AM

Could also be an issue of caring too much.

I can be really sly and charming around girls, but whenever I'm around my girlfriend, I turn into this bumbling, rambling moron. Everything I say I think, "What are you saying? You're a fool!"

Maybe it's because you find him really special, and you want him to think highly of you.

exclamationpoii · #6 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenorTwo

Maybe it's because you find him really special, and you want him to think highly of you.

That could definitely be it. There used to be a time when I couldn't even eat around my boyfriend.

BertIsMyHomeboy · #7 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenorTwo

Maybe it's because you find him really special, and you want him to think highly of you.

You know, that's exactly it. He's the first boyfriend I've had who hasn't used me, been completely anti-social, or done something entirely stupid to wreck the relationship like all of the others guys I've gone out with. I don't want to lose him so I'm trying to be this perfect angel. I'm a very self-conscious person. He could give a rat's ass about people's opinions and has even told me that I shouldn't care about what other people think. I try, but I guess I don't try hard enough. I don't know if this helps any, but he's a hardcore liberal and I come from a more conservative family but I haven't really decided which side of the political scale I'm on. He assumes I'm conservative and that's the reason for my being so self-conscious, but whatever. No wonder we haven't gotten into any arguments...I don't speak up about my opinions. What can I do to stop being so shy and start talking more?

Hey exclamationpoii, what did you do to break away from that phase?

missguided.rose · #8 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 01:58 PM

I think you really need to stop worrying.. talk about anything and everything, be stupid. I'm like *the* most clumsiest and stupidist (if thats a word) person around my boyfriend. I'll knock stuff over, I bash him alot lol not on purpose but like I'll head butt him or step on his feet.. thankfully he laughs about it >.<

I think if you ever feel nervous or shy around him, just find something funny, laughter is the best cure for that in my opinion, laugh about it and get over it. However, if in the end, you two just don't have that much in common and you're really stuck for conversation topics maybe you need to think about where the relationship is headed and if you two are really suited.

pxc · #9 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BertIsMyHomeboy

You know, that's exactly it. He's the first boyfriend I've had who hasn't used me, been completely anti-social, or done something entirely stupid to wreck the relationship like all of the others guys I've gone out with. I don't want to lose him so I'm trying to be this perfect angel. I'm a very self-conscious person. He could give a rat's ass about people's opinions and has even told me that I shouldn't care about what other people think. I try, but I guess I don't try hard enough. I don't know if this helps any, but he's a hardcore liberal and I come from a more conservative family but I haven't really decided which side of the political scale I'm on. He assumes I'm conservative and that's the reason for my being so self-conscious, but whatever. No wonder we haven't gotten into any arguments...I don't speak up about my opinions. What can I do to stop being so shy and start talking more?

Hey exclamationpoii, what did you do to break away from that phase?

lol your boyfriend sounds like my friend Andy... anyway... WHO specifically are you around with your boyfriend when you klutzimafy (coolest made up word ever)? Is it around his friends or yours? Do you know his friends? lol. Second of all... if he's a hardcore liberal, he's probably also insane in the coolest, most badass way possible, so do something absolutely ****ing crazy around him for no reason some time, he'll probably laugh his ass off. lol. Anyway... Pretty much everything I said except the bit about knowing the crowd your with could be dismissed as useless.

TenorTwo · #10 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 09:34 PM

Don't be so nervous about it. He's already going out with you, it's no longer your job to make him like you, he already does. Just be yourself, and see how things go. What more can a partner expect from you then to be yourself? You shouldn't feel like you have to be perfect. Besides, who would go out with someone if they were perfect? Sounds boring to me. It's imperfections that attract me to a girl. =)

And also, I agree with missguided.rose. Laughter is the ultimate cure for awkwardness and also helps bring two closer.

Tone · #11 (**permalink**) 13-07-05, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missguided.rose

I think you really need to stop worrying.. talk about anything and everything, be stupid. I'm like *the* most clumsiest and stupidist (if thats a word) person around my boyfriend. I'll knock stuff over, I bash him alot lol not on purpose but like I'll head butt him or step on his feet.. thankfully he laughs about it >.<

Hey hey this isn't the same scumbag you just broke up with a couple weeks ago is it?

BertIsMyHomeboy · #12 (**permalink**) 14-07-05, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pxc

WHO specifically are you around with your boyfriend when you klutzimafy (coolest made up word ever)? Is it around his friends or yours? Do you know his friends?

I mainly hang with his friends because he can't get along with or stand the people I hang with, or shall I say used to hang with a lot. (That's another story.) Most of his friends are a year or two older and even though I've been around some of them several times, I still don't feel comfortable. There's maybe 3 of them I'll make small conversation with. It's usually when he leaves the room for a minute, though. One of his friends is going out with one of my friends and she's around sometimes so I can talk to her, that is...when she's not hanging all over her boyfriend. (Which is a rare occasion because the two are inseparable hornballs.) The people my boyfriend hangs around are all guys and if my friend isn't there, I'm usually the only girl. I pretty much just sit there and it gets just a tad bit awkward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pxc

Second of all... if he's a hardcore liberal, he's probably also insane in the coolest, most badass way possible, so do something absolutely ****ing crazy around him for no reason some time, he'll probably laugh his ass off.

Yeah, he can get pretty damn crazy. Any suggestions or ideas as to what I could do to "knock his socks off"?

pxc · #13 (**permalink**) 14-07-05, 03:03 PM

lol, I knew it! Hmm... I remember one time my friend Andy... man it was great it was eupohoric hearing him say what he said to this chick in my class. One of my classmates is a very... conniving *****, so to speak, or so she's been called. One of her friends was not talking to her as much or something, and she asked us to talk to her for her, or some stupid similar favor. Andy took a deep breath, turned around, turned back and said "SPEAK DIRECTLY YOU *****!" and proceeded to laugh hysterically. this chick was also a prep, so she freaked out. it was damn funny. Something like that. Justified anger. lol. Or just something witty and sarcastic. Man.. that was great. That girl had been pissing me off for so long and I would KILL to see that look on her face again. What made it so funny was that we had known this girl for 5 years, most of our lives and never really blew up on her like that. she did stupid stuff like impersonating people online, ****ing with peoples heads. I just thought that was uber cool. If your boyfriend likes you, or is like you or thinks like you rather, he will probably have unexpressed feelings of anger in similar occasions that you do, and to see them suddenly violently and hysterically expressed would be elating. anyway lol...

BertIsMyHomeboy · #14 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 11:50 AM

That's great. Speaking of preps, your story reminded me of something my boyfriend did at the mall one time. We were with a group of his friends, of course and were walking down the preppy part of the mall, as some people like to call it because you've got your Aéropostale and right next to it is American Eagle and GAP used to be there too until it went out of business, thank God. So we're walking past American Eagle and I see my boyfriend heading for the store. He walks a few feet in and suddenly yells, "We're PREPS!"- putting more emphasis on the last word and casually walking out of the store like nothing just happened. It was so f***ing hilarious the way he said it. I about died. So...yeah. That's just a little taste of the crazy shit my boyfriend pulls and that's only at the mall.