Difference between warm friendship and interest? - Love Forum

Prodigal · #1 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 09:11 AM

Hey everyone,

It's a really cliche type of question, isn't it... And yes, I know that signs are different for each girl. But man... I really need an outside, disconnected opinion on this. It's in my mind that this girl is interested (I don't want to tell the details, really... because you know, whoever says it makes it biased... it leans towards a certain answer), but when I asked a friend of her interaction with me, he said it was like we were warm friends. So, how to tell the difference?

I know this is very vague and (probably) has been answered before, but I do sort of look for a vague answer of sorts. As I said earlier, I don't want the answers to be tainted by my retelling of the story. Thanks in advance.

shh! · #2 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 09:30 AM

In general, I would say that interest is perhaps one toe over the line of warm friendship... There may not be much difference between the two. However, you are being so vague in the details, I am not even sure if I am asnwering what you are asking...
:-)

whaywardj · #3 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 09:38 AM

Gee, Prod. There's tipping your hand and then there's being positively mystifying...which you're being in that post. How do you tell? Instinct, basically. Until you acquire confirmation. Follow your instinct with small moves in the direction you imagine things might be. You'll be either encouraged to continue or discouraged from it at each move. That's an advantage of small moves. Either party can back-peddle without suffering too much embarrassment.

Prodigal · #4 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 09:46 AM

shh!- Which is what makes it so incredibly hard to be able to tell, right? I was wondering if there were kinda like any 'tells' that would point towards one or the other. Sort of like tells for poker players! xD

whayward- Well, I don't want to give details because I remember (I think Frasbee) saying something about how he never answers questions here anymore because they usually point towards a certain conclusion. That it is basically biased. I don't want to delve into details (she did this, etc.) because it might make it seem that she's interested when maybe she really isn't.

However, if it becomes necessary, I will divulge and lose the mystery. xD

whaywardj · #5 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 11:21 AM

Here, Prod. Try this: http://www.justlaura.com/xoom/sex/female.html

shh! · #6 (**permalink**) 15-07-05, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

shh!- Which is what makes it so incredibly hard to be able to tell, right? I was wondering if there were kinda like any 'tells' that would point towards one or the other. Sort of like tells for poker players! xD

Jeez, I don't know. It seems that "tells" might be sort of individual. But here is what I think - A warm friendship is one in which I feel affection for another person, and would imply a certain level of interest in them. Because I don't think male/female friendships can be completely devoid of some level of sexual curiosity, I don't think it takes much to move from one side to the other. I wish I could be more helpful, but considering the lack of detail, I think it is about the best I can do.

Prodigal · #7 (**permalink**) 16-07-05, 01:46 AM

Yeah, shh!... I sorta thought that too about tells being individual. And to maybe bring up another topic, you think that any good opposite sex friendship implies a certain level of interest (as in taking it to a higher level)? That's an interesting thought.

I thought I could get general answers, being as dumb as I was. I'm usually the one against generalizing people and I seemed to have done it right from the get-go here. I'll give some details, but be aware that they are probably biased subconsciously.

So, I got invited to a beach party for her birthday. It had been a while since I have seen her and such... a friendship that started four years ago. Talked a lot the second and third years, had almost no chance to talk this last year.

Felt a bit awkward since I was around a bunch of people I was acquainted with for a while but not to the point of being friends with, and was basically hanging around my two good friends that went. Probably didn't socialize as much as most of them because a) I'm not really a part of this tight-knit group, although they all know me, and b) I was in the water most of the time since I was having so much fun xD.

Everybody that I talked to acted in pretty much the same way: friendly talking, amiable, some joking around... made me feel comfortable. Something made me feel that she was treating me differently though. Doing things that, well, I at least don't see her do to other people. Sort of like excuses to touch me. We didn't really get to talk that much that day, but whenever we did she would be playful (do some silly thing) or touch me somehow... the poking, yeah, she does that to everyone, but one time I was standing around the fire with everyone because I was in the water before and I was really cold, and out of nowhere I feel her grabbing the inside of my arm by my elbow and hear her say 'excuse me'.

That's what got my intuition really going because 'excuse me' isn't something that requires or really even invites or warrants touch. I don't see people touching each other when they say that.. and considering (I don't think) there was anyone right by me where she would have to maneuver... yeah. Besides, I think she ended up standing next to me (most things are a bit blurry).

Every other girl there was really friendly with me, but then again, everyone was. But none of them touched me or anything like that. I have some feeling she stood closer to me when we were talking than anyone else did, but I can't be sure about that. Not sure if these sorts of things just come with better friendship or are telling of interest in more. Or maybe I'm looking way too much into these things. In any way, I'm going to stop because I'm being too analytical. xD

Note: whayward, the mystifying aspect is now gone.

Tone · #8 (**permalink**) 16-07-05, 01:59 AM

Ugh I wrote out a longer response but the forums crashed and I lost it...

Anyways:

Nice Prod! I wouldn't say this girl is ready to marry you but I definately think you should pursue it. Invite her out with you and your friends, or use the excuse of not seeing each other much the last year to ask her out to lunch or dinner to catch up.

Good luck and keep us updated!

shh! · #9 (**permalink**) 16-07-05, 02:46 AM

Ooh! I love the juicy details! Let me just tell you this, Prodigal, as a woman: I don't touch men unless I am interested in them or if I know they are married/attached, and there is absolutely no possibility of me being misinterpreted. I understand that not everyone is this way, but I'd say odds are good she is interested.