impossible to make him change?

[igor]

I know it's bad to try to change people, but I need to know if I am wrong. My boyfriend that I have been with for a few months is the greatest guy in every way except that he brags too much. He always talks about how much money he makes and reminds me that I make less. I don't know if he does this to try to impress me or if he's just being rude. I'm proud of him for being where he is at his age, but he needs to realize that not everyone is as lucky. Has anyone else dealt with something like this and had it change? I need to say something soon because I might blow up at him someday if I keep hearing it.

[pxc]

Why don't you just casually, not quite angrily, but half-joking and like your agitated (which you will be) tell him to shut the **** up; the people he's talking to won't have time to be successful if they listen to him brag all day.

It's not like you're changing him by asking him not to brag like a stupid ass... you're just asking him not to brag like a stupid ass.

[igor]

I know he should be proud of his accomplishments tell me about them, but he only needs to tell me once or twice. I have heard that guys do it to impress girls and I don't know how to tell if he's doing it for that reason. Since he's otherwise the perfect guy, I don't want to mess anything up by accusing him. I would think that he's aware of what he's doing. I just don't get how he couldn't realize that it pisses me off with out me telling him it does.

[missguided.rose]

Its good he's acheived alot.. I know people who have acheived alot by their age, but they don't brag about them. If he brings you down for not doing as well as him you need to tell him to shoosh it, because that's really not a nice thing to do.

[pxc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

I know he should be proud of his accomplishments tell me about them, but he only needs to tell me once or twice. I have heard that guys do it to impress girls and I don't know how to tell if he's doing it for that reason. Since he's otherwise the perfect guy, I don't want to mess anything up by accusing him. I would think that he's aware of what he's doing. I just don't get how he couldn't realize that it pisses me off with out me telling him it does.

You'd be surprised. Most of the time I piss people off I didn't even know I was doing it. Seriously, though, do what I said lol. It's not mean, just honest. If you say it half-joking, you'll do a few things:

1.) Make yourself look witty, always good
2.) Show that you aren't in some kind of a dreamland where your boyfriend is totally perfect
3.) Not embarass your boyfriend or the person he's bragging to, but still get the message across clearly enough

[igor]

He only does it to me. That's might be why it bothers me more. It's not only about the money either... His better car, him being smarter. stuff like that... It's just a bunch of subtle comments that make me feel like I'm not as good as he expects me to be

[missguided.rose]

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

He only does it to me. That's might be why it bothers me more. It's not only about the money either... His better car, him being smarter. stuff like that... It's just a bunch of subtle comments that make me feel like I'm not as good as he expects me to be

=( *hugs* I really don't know any other way to bring it to his attention than to tell him, like pxc said, maybe he doesn't realise he's doing it.

[Chlorine]

igor---Perhaps he has a complex. That's why he has to verbalise everything.

Next time he starts talking about himself, change the subject.

[Tone]

wtf.. what do you guys judge a person's personality on? How can someone that stuck up, rude (I think it's very rude to put your girlfriend down about you making more money, having a better car, and claiming to be smarter than her), and self-centered be the "perfect guy"?

Tell him to look up the word humble in the dictionary... seriously put his ass in check. Putting you down like that is disrespect, and if after a few months he's verbally abusing you, I can only imagine a few months down the road, if you don't do anything about this, him stepping it up to being able to put his hands on you, because afterall he's SO much better than you are right?

What a dick. Either put him in his place by telling him he needs to calm the **** down with being a self-proclaimed god, or dump his ass and say something smart like "Sorry, I found someone who makes more money, has a better car, and has the sense to not brag about it, you scumbag!"

[TAVS]

Hmmm. You can make him change if he wants to, but you can't make him. For example, my girl says there are things I do that irritate her. She says if we get back together, they will continue to irritate her. It tell her I can change in that regard and I know I can. I want to make those changes and will make those changes with my heart as motivation.

[shh!]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

wtf.. what do you guys judge a person's personality on? How can someone that stuck up, rude (I think it's very rude to put your girlfriend down about you making more money, having a better car, and claiming to be smarter than her), and self-centered be the "perfect guy"?

Tell him to look up the word humble in the dictionary... seriously put his ass in check. Putting you down like that is disrespect, and if after a few months he's verbally abusing you, I can only imagine a few months down the road, if you don't do anything about this, him stepping it up to being able to put his hands on you, because afterall he's SO much better than you are right?

What a dick. Either put him in his place by telling him he needs to calm the **** down with being a self-proclaimed god, or dump his ass and say something smart like "Sorry, I found someone who makes more money, has a better car, and has the sense to not brag about it, you scumbag!"

I agree with this post.

[singularity2006]

I find that in relationships where one person has to specifically tell the other person they must change something, it "poisons the well" making that person change because they have to, not because they want to. Depending on the issue at hand, the verbalized command to adjust some form of behavior is OK, but for things like these, the body language and guilt trip is the better thing to do.

and of course you need to be careful because there are SOME things that you just have to tell them, otherwise they will never know to change. But under the best circumstances, it is only when a person knows and wants to change him/herself that such change is truly meaningful.

[Sami09]

just talk to him about this i think by the sounds of it he trying to brag because he realy like you. i think most guys like to brag. my man does brag about women when he is with me he says looks at that girl over that all i can do is roll my eyes and after a while its gets really annoyin we been together for 2 yrs and 3 months.

Quote:

Originally Posted by igor

I know it's bad to try to change people, but I need to know if I am wrong. My boyfriend that I have been with for a few months is the greatest guy in every way except that he brags too much. He always talks about how much money he makes and reminds me that I make less. I don't know if he does this to try to impress me or if he's just being rude. I'm proud of him for being where he is at his age, but he needs to realize that not everyone is as lucky. Has anyone else dealt with something like this and had it change? I need to say something soon because I might blow up at him someday if I keep hearing it.

[MrDrum]

What this guy really needs, is a punch square in the face by a guy like me. He won't seem so big and bad after that.... Then id tell him to practice some modesty, and some self control. He has just never had a good ass-woopin. That can do a lot for you.

[missguided.rose]

Violence doesn't solve anything =/