im lost - Love Forum

kiko1981 · #1 (**permalink**) 10-10-03, 12:35 PM

ok heres the deal. i dated this girl for 6 years. we break up because i loved her, but wasnt "in love" with her. So i met someone else, and she had been in my same situation. we fell in love with each other, spent close to a year together, then she ended up going back to her ex and me mine. (very screwed up siuation). Now, 4 months being back with my ex of 6yrs, at first everything was better but now things are starting to feel like they did in the end before. also, there hasnt a day went by i thought of that other girl. AND, the other night, at such a random, we decided to meet up for supper, and we ended up spending time with each other for hours, and it ended up hugging, kissing, and just feeling so good being with each other. its like half of my brain tells me i need to tell the one im with that its over im not in love with her anymore, and go to the other girl and let her know shes who i want...then the other half still loves the one im with, i care for her, and the thought of her being out of my life forever and her being with someone else just, i guess you could say freaks me out. IM SO CONFUSED. All i want to know is just have that "i for sure know, and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you" feeling. Any advice would be appreciated. thanks......

#2 (**permalink**) 10-10-03, 02:02 PM

Sounds like you were on the rebound when you broke up with girl number 2 and went back to your ex. So of course things are going to revert back to the tension you had before.

You had better think about what you want with her. It might be good to move on.

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kiko1981 · #3 (**permalink**) 10-10-03, 02:28 PM

thanks. yea it wasnt so much i was on the rebound. it was kinda like she still called me, and see she still would cry and tell me she wanted me back, etc. finally after seeing girl #2, it first started out going out for dinner. before i knew it, we were going off every weekend, then seeing each other constantly. now we're back together, and now that she knows i was with that other girl, she is extra jeolous of me. she even trips when i go out with my friends. i dont know, its just part of me says i need to move on..its just the fact of saying it and doing it. because i know what will happen. she will cry, be so upset and start telling me how much shes always loved me and how she dont want to ever be without me, and how she will do better, etc. then that makes me feel sorry for her, and i start feeling really crappy, and just give in..oh well, i see what ur sayin though. thansk for your reply

#4 (**permalink**) 10-10-03, 02:45 PM

Well, if she gets all trippy when you go out with your friends, then this girl doesn't want a boyfriend, she wants a hostage.

You know, this may sound cold hearted, and really it might be, but the next time she calls and tries to make you feel bad because she feels bad and wants some shoulder to cry on, tell her you don't have the time right now.

You should move on with your life and find someone more stable and not borderline psycho.

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DuckyWucky · #5 (**permalink**) 10-10-03, 04:51 PM

Quote:

i dated this girl for 6 years. we break up because i loved her, but wasnt "in love" with her. So i met someone else, and she had been in my same situation. we fell in love with each other, spent close to a year together, then she ended up going back to her ex and me mine.

Huh? I got lost here...

Which ever girl you want to be with most, be with! Break some hearts! YOO CAWN DOOOO EEET!

jane · #6 (**permalink**) 11-10-03, 08:51 AM

no way man,
she was an X for a reason! You nevvverrr go back! It's always the same stuff onlythis time it's twice as bad. Women love guilt trips. I have done it myself, however, I know that it's not the way to make a relationship last.

You were on the rebound. X means just that, and EX. You have to be cold hearted. It's actually better to be. She may be hurt now but she will get over it. YOu have to do whats right for you. No one else can make you happy if you aren't. Hope that makes sense.

#7 (**permalink**) 11-10-03, 09:21 AM

I'd have to agree with Jane... again (I see a trend here). And Ex is an Ex and that's it. Like I said, she's a borderline psychopath and she should be avoided. Be cold hearted, even mean if it comes down to it.

I hate doing it myself, but damn, if she wants to pull guilt trips on you, then you have to get the balls to say, back off bitch and leave me alone. Seriously, if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes.

It's best to tell her it's over and you want nothing to do with her anymore.

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kiko1981 · #8 (**permalink**) 11-10-03, 12:26 PM

thanks for all the advice. yea you are right about how thigns are worse now. i mean at certain points, our relationship is better. but on the other hand, a few of the major keys in it have gotten a lot worse. i also find it funny how you called her a pshyco path! lol. because thats what half my friends, and a couple relatives call her. lol.

jane · #9 (**permalink**) 11-10-03, 01:35 PM

listen to then ... get rid of her before she boils arabbit in you kitchen!