Should I be worried - Love Forum

Chuckinlove · #1 (**permalink**) 21-07-05, 01:58 AM

Hi everyone in internet land... Thanks for reading the post.
My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months and we are very much in love;however, there is one issue. Actually I don't even know if it is an issue thats why I'm here. My girlfriend is very friendly and talkative so some guys get the wrong idea. Before she met me she was with many guys. Not intercourse because she was a virgin till she met me but she did other things with them. But even now she does little things that kinda make me feel a little weird. For example, on the second day we were seeing each other she slapped another guys ass. Not a big deal right? I know but there were other little things inbetween just as minor but last night was the real weird thing. A guy she shared a cab with and exchanged emails with long ago started talking to her on msn last night. He said he want her to send him a picture and she did. Then he asked to send another one he liked what he seen. Than she said she had a boy friend, to which he replied he did not care. I never found out if she sent him another picture. I was on the phone with her when this was going on and all she said was that hes a weird guy. Anyways any comments on the situation would be appriciated.

Tone · #2 (**permalink**) 21-07-05, 02:18 AM

You gotta trust your girl man.. but keep your eyes open..

TAVS · #3 (**permalink**) 21-07-05, 02:55 AM

Thats about all there is to say.

jay12 · #4 (**permalink**) 21-07-05, 03:11 AM

Its a difficult scenario though.

I feel like i want someone who is not goin to make me worried or feel jealous, but then maybe im paranoid. Maybe its me that should change if im in the situation where a girl is making me worried.

What shes so far isnt very worryin. But shes obviously a bit of a flirt, do you want someone who worries you?

Tone · #5 (**permalink**) 21-07-05, 03:17 AM

Well you have to think of it like this... you CANNOT control what she does, okay. If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat. You can only control what you do - so make sure if the relationship is going to end because of trust issues - that it's because something she DOES (not what you THINK she will do) and that it's NOT because YOU spent so much time worrying her and being jealous and freaking out about just speculation and paranoia.

Gotta have trust.

Nice Lover Boy · #6 (**permalink**) 21-07-05, 11:36 AM

What's the age like? I'm trying to focus on the mature side on this field. And, would you think she made this up to make you jealous or for attention?

Lonesomepoet76 · #7 (**permalink**) 22-07-05, 12:34 AM

Sounds like my last gf. But mine was doing alot more than just flirting. She just turned 20, im 28 and we lasted a year.

Does your girl allow you access to her friends? Like letting them talk to you and vice versa? Perhaps you could ask them what kind of girl she is. My girl would NEVER let me near hers in any way, which was a red flag to me. I dont know about youre position but in my case, she was hiding so much from me. I did get ahold of one her friends and turns out i was not the only guy she was seeing and cheated on me with one of them, possibly another. If you dont know if shes trustworthy, you need to either talk to her or her friends. If not it will just eat away at you.

From what ive read i dont see much to be too concerned with just yet as the info given didnt tell me much. Your girl may just like to socialize with the opposite sex. I do. It doesnt always mean something is going on back stage. Slapping a guys ass on the second day you two went out (6 months ago) i wouldnt be worried about at all. Exchanging pics i wouldnt be worried about as you say that was long ago to. Id say talk to her, nicely. Its always good to touch base every now and again. Communicate.

whaywardj · #8 (**permalink**) 22-07-05, 01:13 AM

Depends on what kind of signals she wants to send and how they get interpreted. Offhand, the best I can think about her behavior is that she isn't paying ANY attention to how other's may be reading her actions. At worst, she's indicating she's more or less available for anything they might read into them. The middle ground would be that she may not be aware of the difference between changing herself and modifying her behavior to suit her circumstances. The level of ambiguity qualifies for a conversation with her about your concerns, I'd say.

Chuckinlove · #9 (**permalink**) 22-07-05, 04:29 AM

Thanks for all the advice. You all said things I was baically thinking, but what you know is sane thoughts and reason mean nothing in the moment when your most concerned. Everything is fine were in love and talked about it. Its "all good" as they say. I guess I get jelous only because she is my first long term relationship. Many one night stands but it never was more than that. So as you can tell I care for her and thats why I get worried for little to no reason and ask advice from strangers on the net. Loves great and I love being so deep in it. She makes my knees weak and my heart strong and thats why I worry. So once again thanks to everyone.

Zeen · #10 (**permalink**) 22-07-05, 05:48 AM

Sounds good. I can just add that I've been chatting to a girl for some time. We've met a couple of times, as we have some acquaintances in common, it was a professional contact initially, but we've become more like friends. She's happily married with kids., husband etc. And it's truly nothing else but friendly intentions from my side. I just get bored at work sometimes. And it's cool to have a chat. No romantic interests in that direction AT ALL, that part of me is vented under another thread on this forum. So, it can easily just be a friendly thing as well and not necessarily something to worry about. The worst thing would be to get obsessive about the idea of her doing something she may not do at all...