Am I right to be suspicious? Or am I just being Paranoid? - Page 2 - Love Forum

Tone · #16 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 12:57 AM

Yeah - maybe before talkin to her about anything just ask her if you can tag along with her the next outting they have. If she says sure and you go and see there's no ackwardness or any suspicious behavior you can start to think maybe it was just all in your head.

If she objects or comes up with ANY kind of excuse against it - have the talk.

Don99 · #17 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 04:42 AM

I think what I am going to do is wait for her to run out of the room next time we are together again and confront her. Tell her how disrespectful I think it is. If she blows me off I will say "Next time you run out of the room like that to talk on the phone, we are over" See if she understands how much this bothers me.

Tone · #18 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 04:47 AM

That's a good idea. Instead though of saying "Next time you run out of the room like that to talk on the phone, we are over" reword it like "Next time you disrespect me and refuse to acknowledge the fact I'm your boyfriend like that we are over"

Otherwise she'll make it seem like you guys broke up over the telephone. Make sure she understands it's what's going on behind her actions that are bothering you and making you feel uncomfortable. Girls are goofy like that.

Abraxxas · #19 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 04:58 AM

Yeah, that could work or... she'll just say "Hey, now's not a good time for me, can I call you back in a little bit??" Then "I feel like taking nap right now, maybe it would be a good time for you to go home, ok sweetie?" She will find a way out of that one for sure... but at least she shouldnt run out of the room.

artyemi · #20 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 05:58 AM

Don, I read your whole story. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, when it gets to this, it means you are long over due for a real long talk. When are you guys having it? Did you set a time for talking yet?

Sometimes, when we're pissed, we tend to see the things we want to see, and even if it's something else, we have taken the situation and change it somehow so that it would fit what we want to believe.

So, sit down, have a chat. Do you get jealous if she hangs out with other guys? How do you convey that jealousy?

Hmmm, has she ever considered that maybe you'd like to hang out with her and coworkers too?

Don99 · #21 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artyemi

Don, I read your whole story. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, when it gets to this, it means you are long over due for a real long talk. When are you guys having it? Did you set a time for talking yet?

Sometimes, when we're pissed, we tend to see the things we want to see, and even if it's something else, we have taken the situation and change it somehow so that it would fit what we want to believe.

So, sit down, have a chat. Do you get jealous if she hangs out with other guys? How do you convey that jealousy?

Hmmm, has she ever considered that maybe you'd like to hang out with her and coworkers too?

Thanks for reading the Novel

Yeah we need to have a talk, but I want to catch her right when it happens, so she can't say I just didn't understand blah blah, right in the act of acting funny on the phone.

I don't get jealous when she hangs out with all guys no. However when she used to hang out with her ex I hated it, and since I don't know this David guy at all it bothers me. She has other guy friends at school and such, I walked passed her one day at the school cafeteria eating with a guy from her classes, I have sat down and talked to him and its cool, I don't mind at all.

It isn't so much her having guy friends, its the way she acts, when she used to talk to her ex she would act completely different then she would with her girlfriends/guyfriends. She just acted kind of funny, same was she acts with this David guy.

I just need to tell her it isn't cool at all, let her know in no uncertain terms.

bluesummer · #22 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 09:04 AM

Don, Don, Don. I can tell you from experience that this girl is hiding something from you. All the classic signs, my friend. Especially the 'seeing his name on the call display and her saying she'll call him back later'. If she had nothing to hide, she'd take the call in front of you. Plain and simple.

The best way to deal with this is to just tell her, without being confrontational, "I have some concerns about your relationship with your friend David, based on some behaviour of yours. Can you explain to me why you do this....this......this.....? Because it looks suspicious and it is damaging our relationship." If she flies off the handle and calls you jealous, well I'm afraid she's likely guilty. Even if she's not doing anything and gets upset about it, I think it's terms for a break up or separation.....you shouldn't have to put up with disrespectful behaviour like this.

okibo · #23 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 10:59 AM

I jsut got one question for you Don, what do you think is going on? I jsut want to get some imput from you cause most of the time when people come looking for help they already know the answer! Hope everythin has gone well these couple of days!

Seba

captnbackfire · #24 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 02:34 PM

Punch her in the ovary and move on.

Haxor · #25 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captnbackfire

Punch her in the ovary and move on.

or **** her in the ass a couple more times and dump her on the spot after.

shh! · #26 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haxor

or **** her in the ass a couple more times and dump her on the spot after.

This from the 19 year old virgin...

clynn · #27 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

"I have some concerns about your relationship with your friend David, based on some behaviour of yours. Can you explain to me why you do this....this......this.....? Because it looks suspicious and it is damaging our relationship." If she flies off the handle and calls you jealous, well I'm afraid she's likely guilty. Even if she's not doing anything and gets upset about it, I think it's terms for a break up or separation.....you shouldn't have to put up with disrespectful behaviour like this.

Yeah, this is quite clear, straightforward, calm and respectful. I like it! Very well put.

I hope it goes well for you Don.

Hmmm....I guess you could always still try her early-day suggestion of setting this dude up with somebody? Ah, that sounds like work.

Well, you sound like a really awesome boyfriend, a great guy and totally hot to boot. She'll be sorry to lose you if she doesn't smarten up and start honouring your relationship like she should be.

Don99 · #28 (**permalink**) 09-08-05, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clynn

Well, you sound like a really awesome boyfriend, a great guy and totally hot to boot. She'll be sorry to lose you if she doesn't smarten up and start honouring your relationship like she should be.

Thanks that is very nice of you to say

New development though. Right when I got off work she called me, needed me to come give her a ride home from work because she was sick, she threw up like 5 times at work and left sick, she was completely out of it in the car, we got to her place and she runs to the bathroom immediately......not exactly the best time for a discussion like this, but it will happen in the next few days.

artyemi · #29 (**permalink**) 10-08-05, 01:33 AM

Hmmm.. maybe she's pregnant... with .... just instigating.. that's what my doctor would say if i went into the office and started puking... a lot...

don... you seem like a very level headed kind of guy.. i really like that...

i hope you guys have a discussion.. and that it works out..

i sort of go through this a bit with my dude.. the last time it happened, i just got out of his car and started walking, and walking, and walking, and walking. I didn't even want to talk with him anymore.

But we talk a lot and it helps when it's honest and open.

Don99 · #30 (**permalink**) 10-08-05, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artyemi

Hmmm.. maybe she's pregnant... with .... just instigating.. that's what my doctor would say if i went into the office and started puking... a lot...
*snip*
i sort of go through this a bit with my dude.. the last time it happened, i just got out of his car and started walking, and walking, and walking, and walking. I didn't even want to talk with him anymore.

Well she is on the pill so I am not too worried about that

Yeah it is good to be open, an hopefully it will work out, thanks.