Confused

[ChrisG]

Hello everybody.

I met this amazing girl around 6 months ago at work. We worked together for around 3 months untill unfortunally the company down sized and we and some other were made redundent. We kept in contact and went out on a regular basis. I decided to ask her if we could perhaps be a littlemore than friends and she said the good old escuse, ive got a great personality bad does not fancy me. She has said to her friends in the past that she thinks she had a crush on me but then changed her mind.

She is the first girl that I have really really liked, I respect her so much and am constantly thinking about her, we share many intrests and my dream would be to be with her.

About 6 weeks ago I text her with just genrall chit chat and at the end wrote Take Care xx, For some reason she got a bit freaked out and has not text me back since. So I layed of the texting untill Thursday when I recieved a text from her asking how I am. When I looked at my phone to see her name my face lit up, never had a bigger smile as that before.

We are arranging to meet up again very soon, what kinda thing do i take from it, its very confusing, i know there is somthing there with us, she gives out all the signals when we first met. Im 22 and she is 20. I really dont want her to slip away, all the other girls ive met meant nothing really to me, just convient, but this new girl is amazing.

[Late_vamp]

whatever you do , if she says she doesnt want to be more than friends for now , then dont push it to become a couple because all your gonna do is push her further away . (you even said it , with your last text "take care xx she prob did get freaked out , therefore she dint talk to you for a while .)

Also this might work (it might backfire too , so watch out) but some women get attracted to guys when the guys their with (friends , co-workers) arent all over them . Meaning , you go out as friends , well just act as if it would be anyone normal to you , not the girl of your dreams , that seems to be a turn-off to them BEFORE you actually start to date ...

**Personal note* this happened to me kind of, i went out with my friend , then we broke up (it lasted like 3 days) , she keept trying to talk to me for like 4 months (we were in the same school , so she was there everyday, she kept trying to talk to me as we were before , just friends ) i just ignored her , and i dint even look at her when she was around . Well what do you know , after those 4 months she was going crazy because i was different than all the other guys , meaning all the others were all paying attention to her (she is truly one of the girls that i could sincerely say that she was amazingly gorgeous ) and i was just acting as if she was just another girl from school , i dint even look at her when she was in front of me . well one day she just coulnt keep herself from facing me to know whats going on(she cracked). and thats when i knew it was the right time to go and try to go out with her . our relationship lasted 15 months , but it ended with me losing trust (another story).

[carpflounder]

Well she's already played with you a little. If you dont french her by the third date, dont bother calling her again. Honestly, she already sounds like she isn't worth your time.

[Ellynn]

Notice how you backed off and then she texted you and asked how you were? She obviously cares about you....at least as a friend. Don't push it with asking her out anymore or acting like your crazy about her(even though you really are). Let her come to you and make plans. Who knows....things might change. Just don't pressure her into making a decision. She will do it on her own....

In the meantime hang out...have fun....and get to know each other more. Better to have her as a friend then nothing at all right?

Also keep your options open.

[IDon'tGetBoys]

It seems that my situation and yours is a lot alike (see my post....help me figure out what the deal is). I am doing the whole take a step back scenario right now. I am letting him come to me. I am letting him make the first move so that I can make sure that is what he wants. I may lose him, but I will know that I lost him because we were never more than friends. Hope your situation works out.

[ChrisG]

Thanks for the advive guys, i'm gonna hang out with her as friends and just see what happens. I do know she has never had a boy friend before which quite frankly amazes me, maybe she is nervous.

[ChrisG]

Well she kept texting me asking how I am etc. I asked her if she would fancy going out and hanging but she just kept saying, ill see. As much as it is hard for me to do, think ill just leave her alone completly, her texting me is really messing up my brain. I like her soo much and I can't move on if ever so often she texts me again. Bollox bollox bollox. When she texts me she says how bored she is and she wants to go out,#???? well im offering ??? I'd rather her tell me to piss off than lead me up the garden path.

[niceguy01]

I'm in the same situation as you are. I'm crazy about my friend, and when I told her how I felt, she gave me the friends thing too. But, she told me things can change, and she has been hurt before in a previous relationship, so she isn't quick to jump into these things. That being said, we are great friends, I see her alot, and I'm starting to think that, even though she rejected me at first, there is something there.

So, what I'm doing is, she knows how I feel about her, she told me she was glad she knew how I felt, so it's up to her to make the next move, when she feels ready. So, my advice is to stay friends, she will tell you when she's ready for a more serious relationship, but definitely don't push her into it, otherwise, she will push you away.

[IDon'tGetBoys]

Your advice is great niceguy...thats what i am doing and i think that me and my guy are going to get back to normal...but it takes time