I don't get why I feel this way. (A little long)

[Ellynn]

Yeah if you look at it that way.....it is true what the others have said. You need to give other people a chance. Once you have been there and done that(like I have) then you can be bitter like me LOL....jk!

Even though I have had some bad experiences....I can't say I regret ALL of them. I mean there were some people I dated that I didn't find attractive while initially meeting them....and well after hanging out awhile I had a spark of attraction....which turned into more. If I would have given up in the beginning I would have never had that. I just learned later on that we wanted different things....but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the experience while it happened. I even learned from it.....and got more experience for when I do find someone who could potentially be "the one" or a big part of my life. So give it a try....you never know.

But then again I still stick to my guns about not settling.... Don't settle for someone if you are with them for awhile and realize its not gonna work. I mean you eventually know....sometime into the relationship if things are going well or not. If you get that feeling where you know its just not gonna work and theres like nothing you can do to change your feelings....then get out of it. But give it a chance....I have....(even if it takes a few months) Just don't settle after getting to know the person and dating them a little bit if you aren't feeling anything.

[Prodigal]

Mishanya- How can someone just get with someone to figure out what it's like to be in a relationship? That sounds so meaningless and devoid of feeling. Like I said, anybody can go out and get someone. It would be just anybody though. What you suggest sounds like it toys with people's feelings. Getting with someone, and the motivation is because you want to 'get experience', not particularly because you actually like them. I would appreciate a response to this, because it's really disagreeing with my beliefs at this point in time and I feel as if I need to know more from someone with a different opinion.

Ellynn- I definitely see your point... I guess my feelings of settling are very extreme. At any given point in time, if I don't feel attracted to a girl, she's not going to have any chance of me relationship-wise. But those feelings are also apt to change as time goes by or events happen. I'm just to the point to where I wouldn't even go on a date with a girl if I weren't attracted to her.

[Ellynn]

Well if you don't find the girl attractive at all.....then yeah not really a good idea to date her... But the guys that I was kinda like "ehh they are average" ended up actually being really cool when it came to their personalities. Then it kinda made them more attractive to me. I usually can tell if there is no possibility of attraction. I mean if there is someone you just could never imagine kissing etc....... then yeah.....not very good idea to date them. But if its someone you do find slightly attractive and you get to know them and find yourself more interested.....then go for it.

[Mishanya]

Hi Prodigal

"How can someone just get with someone to figure out what it's like to be in a relationship?" by Prodigal

First up, you're not just getting with someone, you go out there and you look for friends WHO just happen to be girls that you find attractive and interesting. Get a couple of these friends WHO are girls. This proccess is called "DATING". You can find dates in many different places in life and you dont have to specifically go out there looking for them, just leave youself open to friendly ecnounters and opportunities. Once you have some friends WHO just happen to be girls and whom you just happen to find attractive and interesting, pick ONE (Only one) for which at that stage you may have developed some feelings and try to take things further to a higher level (Called relationship). You are not really twisting anyones arm here and you are doing things in your own time, when you are ready to move in from a friendship to a relationship. But, if you just seat there not really doing anything and expect your perfect partner to find you chances are it will not happen (Or take a really long time to happen) - Just my opinions, please don't crucify me for them

Also, like Ellyn said, if things don't work out for some reason at least you have some experience and know what its like to be in a relationship (But this is not why you would enter the relationship, you would want it to work out right first time round, unfortunately that rarely happens).

By the way how old are you Prodigal?

Even though I have had some bad experiences....I can't say I regret ALL of them. By Ellynn

Me too... I agree with Ellynn. Even in very bad relationships i got to experience something different and it is educational as well because in the future you know the warning signs and you can change certain elements before things really go wrong. Ofcourse i never entered a relationship SIMPLY to get experience, i only enetered because i was in love

Hope above helps!!!

[Airborne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

My only guess is the lack of a girlfriend... which trips my mind a little bit. I've never had one, so how would I know what I'm missing to be sad about it? It has made me sad before, but I also know that love just comes.. usually unexpectedly.

Firstly: Ignore OV.

Secondly: It isn't the lack of a girlfriend, it is the lack of someone to share your feelings, thoughts, hopes and aspirations with. So yea, I spose you are looking for a girlfriend, though it is nothing to get sad about. Look for someone with a cool personality, they do not need to be good looking because your girlfriends looks will grow on you assuming she isn't completely ugly.

Look for friends of friends, that is usually the easiest way in my opinion to meet people who you are interested in. Although dude, do not present yourself in the same way as you did in your initial post, it comes accross as somewhat needy, be confidant and let them want and chase after you, not the other way around. Good Luck!

[Tone]

Prod, it's normal. I know I've felt the same way from time to time.

What ever happened with that one girl that would flirt with you on the beach? The one that would touch your arm when talking, etc.

[Prodigal]

Mishanya: Thanks for your input... although different from my views, I appreciate it. I guess it's a matter of just finding someone I'm interested in?

Airborne: Thanks for the advice, and agree with your second statement. As for your last thing... hm, didn't think of that. And as for being confident... it's not a problem because my wit/lameness/sarcasm is what really shows.

Tone: Um, about that girl... eh, I found out within myself that she was just a friend to me (I wasn't so interested in her, it was just a one-day attraction I suppose). Plus, my other friends gave the insight that it wasn't anything more than friends anyway.

[Ellynn]

It will all work out.....you are young yet....and you have yet to go to college! You never know once you get there. It will be a whole different world. And yeah there is alot of partying........but there are also people who are looking for a relationship. You will have a variety to look at/choose from. Plus Im sure you will make alot of friends....and then you will get to know more people thru them etc. It will be fun.....and eventually things should fall into place.

[Only-virgins]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

I would appreciate a response to this, because it's really disagreeing with my beliefs at this point in time and I feel as if I need to know more from someone with a different opinion.

I'm just to the point to where I wouldn't even go on a date with a girl if I weren't attracted to her.

Are you looking for a different opinion? because there are many offcourse since everyone is a individual....what I think though is that you are looking for some extremest opinion. Do you subconsiously crave a girlfriend but yet do not want to date just an average girl to you because you feel its un-fair for her that you do not feel like you passionatly love them?...that problem is harsh...on what aspect and what part do you exactly need that different opinion on?

[Chlorine]

prodigal---"I'm just to the point to where I wouldn't even go on a date with a girl if I weren't attracted to her."

This closes alot of doors. Going on a date doesn't mean she has to wind up as your girlfriend. Just going out to lunch/dinner/movies can be fun. Keep an open mind or you could miss out on opportunities.