I don't get why I feel this way. (A little long) - Love Forum

Prodigal · #1 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 01:26 PM

Okay, so I'm back from San Francisco, and it was great. I met my online friend, and we got along great (albeit I was awkward the first day).

I don't really get it, though. Although this summer has been great in general, I still get depressed quite a bit. Not so much depressed, but... down. I don't get why it would be. My friends are great, I'm gonna finally have more freedom... these are all things that make me happy.

My only guess is the lack of a girlfriend... which trips my mind a little bit. I've never had one, so how would I know what I'm missing to be sad about it? It has made me sad before, but I also know that love just comes.. usually unexpectedly.

I feel as if something is missing in my life.. or something. It's hard to describe the feeling. I feel alone although I know I am not. Has anyone felt this way? Can anyone make hypotheses on why I feel this way? It has been tripping me for so long.. I guess i just needed to get this out somehow.

Only-virgins · #2 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

Has anyone felt this way?

No.

Quote:

Can anyone make hypotheses on why I feel this way?

You are desperate for a girlfriend.

Ellynn · #3 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 01:41 PM

I know how you feel. You probably feel you are missing out because you see your friends/or other people with gf's and your curious .....about what its all about.. Its normal to feel that way.

I feel that way about not having a bf at times......while my friends are beyond dating and actually getting married and having kids....

I have experienced many relationships, but nothing has gone right so far.....

It is a good feeling to have someone....but then again its even better when your with them because you really want to be and not because your just with someone.

I enjoy my freedom of not having a bf most of the time but sometimes it just gets depressing.... So I know how you feel. But they say good things come to those who wait..... and eventually it will happn....when you least expect it. I really hope thats true.

Prodigal · #4 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 01:55 PM

Only-virgins: Anybody is capable of getting someone if they just put themselves out there. If I were desperate for a girlfriend, I would have gotten one a long time ago. The problem is that when people do this, it never goes right. I know that one because I've seen people (some of which are close friends) do that before.

Ellynn · #5 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 01:59 PM

True......best NOT to settle. OV says he isn't settling for a girl who is a non-virgin......

You don't want to settle for just any girl because you know that you have to have your heart in it...in order for it to work.

I don't want to settle because I have been there and done that....and I know in the long run.......things never change and little by little you realize you can't tolerate it anymore.

Only-virgins · #6 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

Only-virgins: Anybody is capable of getting someone if they just put themselves out there. If I were desperate for a girlfriend, I would have gotten one a long time ago. The problem is that when people do this, it never goes right. I know that one because I've seen people (some of which are close friends) do that before.

Do what? what goes right? If you really want to get rid of that "emptiness" then try a girlfriend. If you dont like it then just end it. You say its that easy to put yourself out there and get one then do it and your problem is solved.

Am I the only person in this world that doesnt want a girlfriend by choice?..seems like it...jeez.

Ellynn · #7 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:04 PM

I think deep down you do want one OV, but with all of the qualities you want. Since its so hard to find.....you just aren't looking. Not a bad thing.....

Sometimes I really am glad I don't have to deal with the drama of a bf.....but if the right one came along I might want to deal with it all again...

Only-virgins · #8 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

I think deep down you do want one OV, but with all of the qualities you want. Since its so hard to find.....you just aren't looking. Not a bad thing.....

If so..then I dont know it. Cause I really dont have any emotional issues causing trouble for me because I dont have one. Its as if it doesnt matter to me. I think Prodigal or this guy does want one though....he might not be admiting it to himself..but his symptoms seem to be a bit tied to loneliness?

Prodigal · #9 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:10 PM

Only-virgins: It's logical, yes. But there's a flaw. Lack of compatibility = doomed relationship. I think that's about as blunt as I can put it.

If you truly want to be celibate and relationship free, then why linger around on a love forum? Doesn't it just remind you of all that stuff?

In fact, I would like it if you told me your reasoning behind this decision. I need to hear from someone who has a completely different outlook than me. If you will tell, I'm willing to listen.

Only-virgins · #10 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

Only-virgins: It's logical, yes. But there's a flaw. Lack of compatibility = doomed relationship. I think that's about as blunt as I can put it.

If you truly want to be celibate and relationship free, then why linger around on a love forum? Doesn't it just remind you of all that stuff?

In fact, I would like it if you told me your reasoning behind this decision. I need to hear from someone who has a completely different outlook than me. If you will tell, I'm willing to listen.

Well, see..I like listening to people talk about stuff like this. I like philosophy, ethics, cutural, love, relationship, cars, computers, games, books, movies, poems forums..I just like to debate alot. I love hearing other people's opinions and even though I respect them I like to dis-agree..sometimes dis-agree even though I agree just to hear their reasoning behind it. I look at things logically. I think it seems like you really want a relationship with a girl that understands you. It even says "eternal loneliness" under your name...why?..doesnt that only make it worse?. I used to have that feeling. Its like a feeling located in teh chest were it seems like no matter what you do its all usless because there is something missing right?...yea..that would be a missing girl in yhour life...its gone now for me(thank god)...seems like you have it though. This doesnt remind me of relationships. I do wierder things then love forums..I am an atheist and I regularly visit the christian forums

.

Anyways..how do you know there is no compatability with out trying?. I think alot of compatability has to do with sacraficing. I seem to get along with everyone...I dont know about other people but in person people like me

Ellynn · #11 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

If so..then I dont know it. Cause I really dont have any emotional issues causing trouble for me because I dont have one. Its as if it doesnt matter to me. I think Prodigal or this guy does want one though....he might not be admiting it to himself..but his symptoms seem to be a bit tied to loneliness?

Ok so you aren't looking for all that....and you really don't care? Well then why are u in a love forum? Just curious.....not trying to tell you to like leave or anything like that..

Also...Prodigal definately wants someone..... I mean I know the feeling because I myself know how that feels.... (apparently you don't have that problem so maybe its hard to understand). Anyways....the point is that he doesn't just want "anyone" but someone with who he is attracted to and really into....not just some girl he thinks is nice and wants to just be with her to be with SOMEONE so he can say...."Im with so-and-so" I know what he means because I feel the same way when it comes to guys. Yeah it would be awesome to find someone, but honestly Im sick of settling....(been there done that).....and I found it truly wasn't worth the time in the long run. I have tried to convince myself that my feelings would change but they don't and its a fact. So why be with someone if you really don't wanna be or if your not into it?

I would rather hold off for awhile and find someone who I really am attracted to both physically and mentally and that I can feel comfortable around and that appreciates me for who I am.......and that I feel the same about him....

Only-virgins · #12 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:33 PM

Haha, I agree Ellynn...agree with you before you even wrote that. Your question is answered in the post prior to yours...or at least answered more or less.

Ellynn · #13 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:37 PM

Yeah I see that now....sigh.... Too fast for me!!

Prodigal · #14 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 02:55 PM

Oh, I see. So basically, you just like many different topics of discussion... mostly intellectual. And debate.. well, that's also good.. very addicting. xD

Compatibility is not hard when it comes to friends. I agree when you say it deals with sacrifice. It's realizing that some things are different and that you are different people. Some of my best friends are people who are near opposites of me.

With relationships, though, it's different somehow. Eh.. I don't know how to explain it. It's like... there are a lot of great people out there, but you just don't 'click' with a lot of them.

Mishanya · #15 (**permalink**) 02-09-05, 03:01 PM

Hi Prodigal

"My only guess is the lack of a girlfriend... which trips my mind a little bit. I've never had one, so how would I know what I'm missing to be sad about it?" By Prodigal

I agree with OV on this one. I think you have just answered your own question. How would you know what is and what isn't doomed to failure if you never even had a girlfriend??? You should get one just to find out what it's like to be in a relationship and if it doesn't work out then fine, like OV said end it. At least you get experience and find out what it's like (And maybe get to experience what it's like to not be lonely for a change). You are not really loosing much here. By the way, nobody has found that special someone they belong with just by seating on a chair. My advice for you is just get out there and start looking, it's not hard at all...

Good Luck!!!