A matter of trust....

[sevink]

Hey, Im just having some problems right now with my wonderfull girl friend. WE have bin dating going on 5 months. Im 19 shes 18 so we are still kinda young. We have bin friends for 3 years but me being shy kept us from dating earlier. Well eventually she decided to ask me to our senior prom and i agreed. And from there we started to date. Now My problem is. Her friend is dorming down in University of Louisville and she wanted to go. So i did a surprise trip for her so she could vist her friend on Labor day weekend. So i drove her down there. We met this Guy Jon who was cool, friendly and just all round a good guy to talk to. Now see my problem is my gf is VERY flirty period. ANd i've tried to not let it get to me but it makes me paranoid and from me being paranoid i feel bad because im not trusting her. Well I could tell she liked him and vice versa. Well thing was we couldnt find any places to stay cept his Dorm(2 beds) So he slept in his and we together slept in the other. Now

The problem starts here. Sunday the day before Labor everyone is out in the hall talking and its just me and Jon sitting in the room. Well i wanted to check my email and get on his computer. My girl friends AIM was up saying how she felt like a terrible person and that she was crying outside. From there i realized she messaged my friend Grant asking him to call her bad names(which is weird i know) so im WTF. from there i saw a live journal post saying this.

wow have i not updated
i am a horrible person
i am a total ***** and i cant even tell anyone or even write it here
but i want something i dont need and i should not want
i cant even have it there is no possible way i can have it
and if i do go to get it i will hurt people
but i still cant help wanting it
im not going to get it but i want it anyway
i want it
iwant it
i want it
now im going to go cry

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: country

Now it hurts me so bad to think my girl friend would break our great and outstanding realtionship for this guy. Well being me i asked her what was wrong. She basiclly told me It was about her dad(she is having issues with him) and i know thats utter crap as she hasnt bin talking or thinking about it the whole weekend. Well i say whatever I try to let her tell me on her own terms not wanting to pry. Well Tuesday night rolls around and im talking to her friend. She tells me to read a BLOG she posted. Basiclly its nonsense till the very end where it says Jaimee had a crush on Jon and Jon has a crush on Jaimee......so yeah I said Yes i knew that but she decided not to tell me. From there she decids to tell me Jaimee was closeto breaking up with me to pursue Jon. But she didnt because hes so far away. Now I normally wouldnt believe it but when we got back to our town she told me when i go to college she wants an OPEN realtionship. Im like wtf? Im not going anywhere(im not leaving town) and you know I love you and wouldnt want anyone else period. SHes like OH yeah i forgot you werent going away! So from there we didnt talk about it. Now that was sticking in my mind as her friend told me all this. So the day later I go over and talk to her. She tells me her friend misunderstood what she was saying. This is her side.

She felt bad because she said. If i wasnt with Josh(me) I might pursue something with Jon. And that made her feel like shit because she felt like she betrayed me in some small way. And now basiclly she hates her friend and refuses to talk to her. So i feel bad they dont talk now too. Now for me. My ex gf cheated on my twice before I dumped her and my gf knows that and tells me she would NEVER do anything like that based on her MORALS and my history. She has never done anything for me to suspect her breaking my trust. But IM so scared She had bin doing/saying these things. I dont want to lose her. I just need some different insight.

THAnks for reading my long post!

[Only-virgins]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sevink

but i still cant help wanting it
im not going to get it but i want it anyway
i want it
iwant it
i want it
now im going to go cry

Jebus christ she wants something bad.

[sevink]

yeah and that post is what is messing with my mind. I know shes talking about Jon and its ****ing screwing with me. any advice?

[Ellynn]

Wow.....yeah it sounds to me like she wants this guy. But she feels bad for doing so.... I mean it doesn't sound like she would cheat for sure....but it definately looks suspicious.......and well this other guy is far away..

You need to sit down with her and have a talk. Just tell her that she needs to be honest with you about what SHE wants. Tell her that if she wants out of the relationship she should do it now....before hurting you even more. But then let her know that if she wants to be in the relationship....then she needs to cut out the crap talking about how she wants to be with another guy etc.....and then denying it to your face....and then hating her friend for saying anything.

Give her an ultimatum......"Either be with me.....or go and do your own thing....whatever makes you happy!"

I know this will hurt you either way.....but you need to know. YOU deserve to know. I mean why invest more time into a relationship when the girl wants out...but doesn't have the guts to tell you? That is why you need to do this......and then u can go on from there.....

[sevink]

I've talked to her about it like 2 days ago and basiclly we worked through it and she seems to still want to be with me. but that post in her journal is ****ing with my mind. I need to sit her down and tell her straight up what i feel. I feel like i cant trust. but the worst part is she didnt do anything! and because of it i feel like shit. I just need some time i guess to fully get over it.

[Ellynn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sevink

I've talked to her about it like 2 days ago and basiclly we worked through it and she seems to still want to be with me. but that post in her journal is ****ing with my mind. I need to sit her down and tell her straight up what i feel. I feel like i cant trust. but the worst part is she didnt do anything! and because of it i feel like shit. I just need some time i guess to fully get over it.

Don't feel bad....it would mess with my mind too. And I know how trust can easily be broken and you never quite feel the same way about the person again.....

If she wants to be with you.....then she needs to cut out that stuff. If she continues....dump her. Because honestly if you can't trust her...whats the point?

[Only-virgins]

I would get to the bottom of this if I was in your place. Wantings omeone so bad that you cry especially when your in a relationship is a bad sign.

[sevink]

she said she was crying because she was thinking about it. not because she wanted him so badly. I just need to tell her my trust has bin dented and will need some time. I guess ill get to have another "fun" day tomarrow!