scared - Love Forum

stefaniebrooke · #1 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 03:55 AM

I am a 22 year old female who seems to have a problem with not getting annoyed with the guys I'm seeing. I was seeing someone for about six weeks and I was pretty sure he was the one. Then he got arrested, and super drunk in the same weekend and in 2 days, I was over the relationship completely. I've met several other people who have become very attatched to me quickly and they drive me crazy. Am I crazy or can I ever have a relationship without wanting to run away quickly. I am very mucha person who wants to get married and have a family when I'm with the right person, but lately I am scared that I'll never find the right person....help please! Any advice anyone can give would be amazing. Thanks in advance!

Lloyd95 · #2 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 03:57 AM

Well since this is your first post, and you're a 21 year old female, wed love to help you out, but you need to post your pic first in the Gallery section.

shh! · #3 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 04:08 AM

Ignore Lloyd. He is one of the ones you'd be running from. :-D

Well, you are only 22 (I can read, unlike SOME people), so I think you are worried a bit too soon. It sounds like you are exercising good judgement in not being interested in connecting with cling-ons and jailbirds. I wish all girls your age had such sense. Just try to be patient, and continue being selective. Being married lasts a long time, and you SHOULD be picky about who you connect with. Good luck.

equivo · #4 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 04:08 AM

One day you will find the right person. Loads of people go through shit relationships when they're young, its just part of the learning experience. Out of interest, you say that you're scared you'll never find the right person.. how long have you been looking? Also 21 is very young to get married.

#5 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 04:08 AM

It's just normal... you have to just hang in there though. Your day will come. If finding the right person was so easy, it would lose all it's meaning and wouldn't be as special, ya know?

Chin up.

equivo · #6 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 04:08 AM

sorry 22

Ellynn · #7 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 06:12 AM

Thats good that you don't settle. The guys you are with seem to be guys that just aren't right for you. I go thru the same thing. I want the whole marriage/kids thing someday and know what Im looking for.....but think its impossible to find it. Why? Because alot of times If things seem wrong in with the guy......or I see alot of problems ahead....I end it. So bascially I don't settle......which is a good thing. I mean life is too short....so why do that?

There is someone out there(I hope) and eventually we will find them..

stefaniebrooke · #8 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

Thats good that you don't settle. The guys you are with seem to be guys that just aren't right for you. I go thru the same thing. I want the whole marriage/kids thing someday and know what Im looking for.....but think its impossible to find it. Why? Because alot of times If things seem wrong in with the guy......or I see alot of problems ahead....I end it. So bascially I don't settle......which is a good thing. I mean life is too short....so why do that?

There is someone out there(I hope) and eventually we will find them..

Thanks! I agree. I always find projects...that's what my father calls them. He asks if I have a new project and I'm looking for the guy who doesn't need to be a project I'm looking for the guy who sees me as nearly perfect and I see him teh same.

TAVS · #9 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 06:21 AM

This laugh out loud moment where my co-workers stare at me has been brought us by Lloyd

Ellynn · #10 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stefaniebrooke

Thanks! I agree. I always find projects...that's what my father calls them. He asks if I have a new project and I'm looking for the guy who doesn't need to be a project I'm looking for the guy who sees me as nearly perfect and I see him teh same.

I do the same..... Its like I have this thing with helping people....and I love to do it......and also being a Nursing assistant I help people all the time....so my mom always says I have this mothering instinct when it comes to people. (RSK also stated the same thing in another post). So its like I end up dating these guys that are far from having their sh*t together. One of my ex's was doing so well getting his life on track with my help etc....and then he did something stupid and it all backfired so he was back to square one. That got annoying....
It seems that when I do find a guy that does have his sh*t together...he ends up NOT wanting a relationship....just sex. So its like I can't win....hehe

The Wise · #11 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 07:34 PM

The same sort of thing used to happen to me when I was in high school and shortly after that. I sorted out that my problem was that I was often too much attracted by aspects of women which strike easily (wild personality, easy-going temper in social situation, and of course the look...). I remember vividly one night, when I was sort of depressed because I had blown up another relationship chance, and I settled down with myself and thought about what I really wanted from a girlfriend of a neverending relationship. Somehow it really helped me realize I was looking at wrong women, that's all

I don't know if you're in a similar situation, but I was acting too quickly, I was always "targetting" the girl who stood out on the surface. In any case, stay away from guys who get arrested (even if it sounds pretty easy to go to jail in the US).

shh! · #12 (**permalink**) 14-09-05, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

my mom always says I have this mothering instinct when it comes to people. (RSK also stated the same thing in another post). So its like I end up dating these guys that are far from having their sh*t together.

I must have the black mother instinct, because I am just as likely to smack someone upside the head as I am to coddle them.

haha