Am I forever stuck on the "just friends" list? - Love Forum

fixbayonets · #1 (**permalink**) 27-09-03, 01:02 PM

People, I am at the end of my rope here. SEND HELP!!!

Ive been hanging out with this girl I know for about 8 months now, and from the moment that I saw her, I knew there was something different about her. Sometimes you just know. Anyway, we started talking and emailing and hanging out frequently, and as I got to know her, I continued to find out just how amazing a person she is. Everything I have ever looked for and more. I have never felt this way about anyone ever before. We have become very close and talk about everything(well almost everything). Here's the problem...

It's your standard "do I tell her and risk the friendship" scenerio. Not an hour goes by that I dont think about this girl, and when I get up in the morning, I always look forward to the possibility of talking to her, or hearing from her. It's the highpoint of my day if I get to interact with this girl. I knew this would happen early on, and it has gotten worse and worse. I can't be around her without wanting to hold her, and I can barely talk to her without wanting to tell her how I feel. What can I say, I love her.

Here comes the tough part. When we're together, she sends out signals that I would interpret as slight come-ons, but I dont know if they are or not. She is incredibly hard to read, and I think she's a bit of a tease without even realizing it. She's got a b/f that she's been with for 4 years, but the guy is a total loser(thats not just jealousy talking, EVERYBODY hates this guy), and I wonder and even suspect she is just with him because it is comfortable and is afraid to leave the relationship.

Recently, one of my friends accidently mentioned to her that I have feelings for her. She told him that she wasnt going to let it change anything in our friendship. That gives me the idea that she is not looking for more. We still talk, and not much has changed in our conversations ( I can be pretty good at hiding my emotions). Im trying to get over her and move on, but I still find myself wondering:
1. Am I forever on the friend list?

2. If she knew that this wasnt just a "crush" and that I do love her, would it change anything?

3. Should I just sit her down and get it all out there and see what happens?

WHAT SHOULD I DO? I PUT TO YOU!

#2 (**permalink**) 27-09-03, 02:31 PM

Hey man... you have to talk to her. You've got no choice. If you don't talk to her, you'll go through life wondering "what if...?" and that's no good. It's regretful.

You have to tell her how you feel. If it changes the relationship for the worse, well you had to try. But, if it does change for the better, you'll be a happier person.

Let me know what you decide to do.

LINEBACKER 2

2c2bt · #3 (**permalink**) 28-09-03, 05:39 AM

You better tell her you like her or do something. Or you end up becoming an intellectual whore like me.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com

leight69 · #4 (**permalink**) 28-09-03, 06:41 AM

alright man......enough with the intellectual whores....man you have to get over something already.

sonal_is · #5 (**permalink**) 30-09-03, 11:41 PM

Yeah, I agree, you definately have to tell her, cos this is stronger than a simple crush, as you said it's love. But in some resepects as she's your mate she may want you to respect the fact that she's not single. Four years is a lot, to her he's not a loser- well obviously can't be, dont forget love blinds everyone and well it may have blinded her. I heard this theory about the just friends thign that girls want it for the male attention and security- in some senses it makes sense. If she's giving some signals then that could be a good thing she knows to an extent that you have feelings for her and well things havent changed that much. You think that you can hide your feelings but the fact that things havent changed maybe shows that she already knows? It could be a time bomb waiting to explode or it could do harm to your relationship. I think you should follow your heart, and then you can let her regret what it would have been like incase she says no. Good luck.

sharqcedoth · #6 (**permalink**) 01-10-03, 07:41 PM

Hmmmmm let see..... u know boy, I do have a lot of experience about loving my own friends, and being loved by my very best friend which I can call my brother, but as time rolling up, u have to move on. Keep on movin. If you stop believing, your life will just be a dew, yet, and yet, and yet. So, JUST FOLLOW YOUR HEART MAN! i WILL ALWAYS PRAY 4 U.