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Quote of the month: "It is not the things we do in life that we regret on our death bed. It is the things we do not. Find your passion and follow it. " ~ Randy Pausch

 

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Old 28-11-05, 11:44 AM
lostlove lostlove is offline
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Hi all. First time posting a poem here. This started out as lyrics for some song, but it turned out to be a poem. Its the more true thing I've written in a long time. Hope someone identifies with it.


Oh, what I've learned
Though hard it has come.
Behind the tears and the sorrow
New meanings are unveiled.
How does a man learn
what is real and what is true?
Once I thought I knew,
Once I thought it was clear
In losing it all
I learned what there is to have.
A smile to light up the room
A hug to warm the soul
A touch to electrify the skin
A gentle kiss to affirm,
Something I now know, is supernatual.
These things are what I had
These things are what I lost
These things are what I mourned
But, these things are now what I long for.
My heart longs to be melted again,
by her gentle wispers.
My heart longs to be energized again,
by her exuberant soul.
My lips long to be again,
left tingling after her kiss.
My soul long to be,
with the only thing true in this world.
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Old 28-11-05, 12:25 PM
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misombra misombra is offline
atada a mis pies.
 
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hmm, good. the first part doesn't match the rhythm of the rest of the poem. a lot of the lines are repetitive and cliche'. "my heart longs, my heart longs...etc." but if you keep working on it that could be good.
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Old 28-11-05, 12:49 PM
lostlove lostlove is offline
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Thanks. I didn't intend it to have any rhyme scheme or rhythm. It was supposed to be repetitive, as I initially was intending to turn it into song lyrics, but decided not to. It was kind of one of those stream of consciousness kind of thing. No going back to edit. Anywho. Cheers.
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