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14-06-07, 08:51 PM
| | Seopromolinks | | Join Date: Jun 2007
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| | | comments please... Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice
Any comments would be great
Last edited by jelly : 15-06-07 at 03:21 PM.
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14-06-07, 08:59 PM
|  | come and play | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK
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| | | I like that thats really good different but good thanks
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14-06-07, 09:02 PM
| | Seopromolinks | | Join Date: Jun 2007
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| | | Thanks for your suggestion...I need more suggestions like you | |
14-06-07, 09:05 PM
| | come and play | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK
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| | | I didn't suggest anything i just said it was good
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14-06-07, 11:27 PM
|  | Lloyd is a dirty old man "Hot Love Pancake(s)" | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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| | | It's better than the average poem that is posted in this forum...
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15-06-07, 02:24 AM
|  | Nugget of Love | | Join Date: Nov 2006
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Originally Posted by vashti  It's better than the average poem that is posted in this forum... yea.
i thought it was okay for a start.
a tip for anyone that reads this and writes poetry: don't do forced rhyming. it kills your poem.
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15-06-07, 02:40 AM
|  | Sexy Steve | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: under your bed
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| | | i thought it was good.
the rhyme scheme was a little strange, but it was good.
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15-06-07, 03:33 AM
| | Lloyd is a dirty old man "Hot Love Pancake(s)" | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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Originally Posted by Steve2004 i thought it was good.
the rhyme scheme was a little strange, but it was good. I agree. The unusual nature of the rhyme scheme is what made it good. I generally don't care for rhyming poems.
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15-06-07, 02:55 PM
|  | ---NIHILIST--- | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: YOU A$$ OF A
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| | | Huh, that is pretty good. Never realized how well the words desire and fire rhyme and go together.
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16-06-07, 04:26 PM
| | Seopromolinks | | Join Date: Jun 2007
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| | | How is it? Mixing and matching,
Twisting and turning,
Hoping and praying,
Dreaming and considering,
Never knowing yet always knowing,
Wanting to, yet not wanting to,
Mixing my heart,
Matching my soul to yours,
Twisting fate with the flick of the wrist,
Turning my life over,
Hoping that it would end,
Praying that it never would stop,
Thinking it was over,
Wishing that it wasn't,
Dreaming of its coming,
Considering letting it steal within
Never knowing if it's true,
Always knowing that it's there.
Wanting to live in the light,
Not wanting the light to come,
The love of another
The dreams of someone close,
Remembering what you used to feel,
Can it come back if you pray so?
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17-06-07, 02:16 AM
| | Nugget of Love | | Join Date: Nov 2006
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| | | that was so cliche.
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If you stare at a white pixel long enough, you notice the throbbing red, green, and blue elements that create it.
If you stare at a fuzzy blanket long enough with your eye so close it goes out of focus, just look at the sparkles; you can see it on the cellular level.
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17-06-07, 02:28 PM
|  | Custom User Title | | Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Diego, CA
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| | | WOW that was REALLY good if only Robert Frost had been around to read your poetry he wouldn't have had to write it himself!!! | |
18-06-07, 03:50 PM
| | come and play | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK
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| | | Thats good
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