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Old 22-06-08, 07:38 PM
volturb40 volturb40 is offline
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Another one from the lonely guy
Life has been bad, for many a while
I've now found a lady, with a beautiful smile
Maybe my luck could be changing
I'm hoping this is true
There isn't another lady, i would rather pursue
When i first laid eyes on you, standing by your door
Your radiating beauty, my jaw just hit the floor
Could you be the one i've been searching for
I've waited for so long
I'm hoping you can trust me
To be your number one.
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Old 23-06-08, 02:03 PM
anachronistic
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by volturb40 View Post
Life has been bad, for many a while
I've now found a lady, with a beautiful smile
Maybe my luck could be changing
I'm hoping this is true
There isn't another lady, i would rather pursue
When i first laid eyes on you, standing by your door
Your radiating beauty, my jaw just hit the floor
Could you be the one i've been searching for
I've waited for so long
I'm hoping you can trust me
To be your number one.
Why has life been bad?

What's so special about this lady, and why does her smile matter?

Don't need the line "I'm hoping this could be true" because that is obvious.

Why don't you want to pursue another lady?

What was so special about the moment you first saw her? Where was it? Does her beauty really radiate? I don't know, you have to tell us.



These are questions I would ask myself, after making the rough draft. Be long and descriptive when answering, and use what you think is applicable from the entries. I ask myself questions because songs are meant to be shared with other people, and you don't want to have to ask a whole bunch of questions. I'm no professional, but I've wrote a few things in my day.

Hope it helps.
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Old 24-06-08, 02:22 AM
volturb40 volturb40 is offline
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Thanks for your comments, remember this is a basic poem (not a song) written by an amatuer, i've no intention about writing a book, lol i just do it when i'm down or feeling good.
I never knew somebody could ask so many questions about a wee poem, but heres some short answers.
Yep this was my own feelings
Life been so bad?? my wife was unfaithful and my mother was dying of cancer.
What was special?? Because she was a down to earth lady nothing ever upset her when things went wrong, and i don't know about you, but when a lovely lady smiles at you, yep its nice.
Sorry but that line needs to be there.
Pursue another lady??. I didn't want to pursue another lady because i had found her and i was trying my best to form a relationship, one ladies more than enough for me lol.
What was so special??. I had met this lady on the internet after being single for 3 years, and it was a blind date, in a small village, when i first saw her i couldn't believe it she was georgeous, and when she smiled and beckoned me over her face was red and buzzing (radiating just an expression) the same as mine was.
There i hope that has answered some of your questions take care
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Old 16-09-08, 08:53 AM
jennyc jennyc is offline
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i like the poem..its short but sweet
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Old 26-09-08, 09:47 AM
Hugabear Hugabear is offline
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Sad. Stay strong.
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