Thoughts

[BillyGalbreath]

I sit here again feeling blind,
While a million thoughts flow through my mind.
The thoughts are always in my head,
Keeping me up every night in bed.
I wish I knew just how I feel,
So again I can enjoy my every meal.
I prey to God to give me some sign,
Or maybe a miracle to ease my mind.
I ask myself when will this end,
Sometimes i want to kill myself again.
I know this is wrong and it makes me sick,
In a great deal of detail I keep thinking it.
I hate being alone all the time,
I yearn for someone to hold and truely be mine.
But now I feel this is just some fantasy.
A world of lies and blasphemy.
I guess now it's just me and my son,
He is the reason I don't pick up the gun.
I need a wife to hold and love,
So I'll keep preying to my God up above.
3-24-04

[squirrley]

Billy-there is NO ONE that important to even think of it, which you know by now. So no lectures. But you need to start thinking of yourself first and obviously your son.

I know how bad and low you can get...and it sounds as though you are really not there anymore. So THANK GOD for it.

Always look to Him. And know that He has a plan for you. And someone WILL come into your life when you least expect it.

[BillyGalbreath]

I know. I just have my moods sometimes... We all do... We all have thought about it... Doesn't mean we are all going to do it... Well at least I know I am not going to do it. I am getting better. I get these kind of moods less and less, and when I do get in these moods they are less and less severe.
Thanks for the concern though Its greatly appreciated.