Ok I'll keep your thread alive...uh child birth well hell its like nothing you could possibly expect! ALL the damn movies you watch, all the stories you hear, it doesnt compare to your own damn thing.
For those 9 months I was sick-border line toxemia...not good. I didnt have a great pregnancy, but this is how my story goes:
Friday night my mucous plug came out-had bloody show...first sign of labor. All that night I was restless, got up had a bowl of cherios(i remember the damn cereal) only had a few bites and knew I should get going...something was happening, I had these weird feelings in my back-NOT PAIN tho. Its like 8 am and my mom takes me to the hospital(single mom-she was my couch-and the best too) sure enough they get me settled and I was in labor. But all be damned I was hungry too and the son of bitches wouldnt give me anything not even ice chips-bastards. So Im walking the halls most of the day and a contraction here and there NOT PAINFUL, but the lady next door I thought I was going to choke she ****ing moaned like she was going to die-not good for me-I thought OMG OMFG shoot me. Anyway by the evening I started to feel the contractions a little more sTILL NO PAIN. By 8pm my OBGYN came in and "popped my water"-NOW NO PAIN~ but the instrument he used was enough for me to omg its a long ass lookn crotchet hook...ok this damn thing was like 3 feet long I swear. It didnt hurt I couldnt feel the poke-but as I was layn in bed~ the water just saturated my bed with me in it~luke warm water I was now submersed in...that was kinda cool but gross. They attached a monitor on the babys head-but the machine it was attached to was so damn big i had to walk around pullin a damn frige! About an hour after that i started to feel PAIN mother ****er...this was truly a pain i didnt think i could endure...the labor process sped up quickly. 20 minutes of that shit and I couldnt take it~ no food no water-Iwanted to pass out, tehy gave me shot of something to calm me down. THAT HURT MORE THEN THE DAMN LABOR! ANYWAY Id sit at the end of my bed have a contraction and rub the living shit out of my belly and forget the breathing classes~**** that just let me do my own damn breathing I'll keep myself alive! After that conraction Id have to piss-mind you the bathroom is 4 ft away-Id get to the bathroom and have another contraction while on the toilet! GEEZUZ already...this went on for an hour and a half-that was pure pain. 10pm Dr. comes in checks me tells me wont be til after midnight...the look on my face.
dont tell me that shit, he left the room I tell my mom i gotta push-the get the nurse-sure shit hes there...Dr. comes right back in and Im wanting to push so baaaaaad. My biggest fear of labor was poopn~he tells the nurse"get the specimen pan ready."
this gal is NOT going to shit anything cause you bastards wouldnt give me anything...the grossest thing I saw in labor classes were the woman touchn the head once it crowned-i wasnt going to do that-thats nasty...Dr. says "amy the baby is crowning.." let me tell you...
my hand was down there faster than the speed of light-I was NO longer in pain but now had a sense of reguvinated energy...I actually got to start pushing at 10:15 and I remember having MTV on too~my focal point. All be damned if within 3 count those up 3 damn pushes and my son was born. My mom said "he has balls!" they placed him on my chest and I cried...within a couple of minutes I realized JUST how hungry I was too~10:45 Im eating a chicken sandwhich and onion rings from Burger King...while eating the Dr. was pulling the placenta out...I guess thats suppose to be uncomfortable but I was too damn famished to give a ****. NOW I ripped while pushing, didnt feel it though...so I had to get sutures placed-no pain. I ate my onion rings with pleasure as he slowly put the needle down and out throughout my putang...no pain. By midnight I was walking the halls...and some of the other woman were up walking around too-they were amazed I was walkn just an hour after birth~but I had soooo much energy and I wanted to see my Kyle. I didnt have any other pain per say after that-but 15 years later its coming back on me...my son is a pain in the ass now! JUST KIDDN teens!!!
Anyway~Killa the point is we all have our own experiences...dont be afraid of having a child...there are so many things nowadays you wont it feel it you dont want to-but I went natural-no drugs-wouldnt change it either. And I can tell you I wouldnt go through it again~honestly I should cause it wasnt that bad-but I am almost done-3 more years to go and Im ready to free myself and have fun myself...having a child can be a pain in itself-you hurt when they hurt-you feel bad when they do-i mean its so damn difficult raising a child by yourself...I would say THAT pain of raising a child is ten times more difficult than the actual birthing process. I love my son and wouldnt trade him for the world...he is my world. But its my turn soon...
to have those fantasies at Michelles whatever lady you mentioned...Im ready damnit to have some REAL FUN!!!!
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