7 questions I want to know about my failed relationship?

[Sherry Love]

Wendy’s story:

I am 25 year old and am currently working as a personal trainer in a local gym. I am working part-time in the gym until I can find some kind of technology job. I met him in the gym. He is working part-time too to earn the money to finish school.

We both love sports so our conversations were always interesting and exciting. We started dating even though he is 1 year younger than I am. He didn’t have a lot of money being a student and all. So I paid for all of our dates. I was fine with this arrangement.

One time I knew that he needed some money for the tuition. I didn’t wait for him to ask. I voluntarily gave him half of my paycheck. He was appreciative and grateful. He told me that no one has ever treated him like I did. I was very happy. Our relationship was blissful and great.

He often visited my parents’ house. My mother liked him at first. She said he was a simple and honest guy. He might be a keeper. My friends at work and in the gym also liked him. They often said that that we have made a nice couple. I trusted him. I thought we would have a future together. So I invited him to spend the night at my place…

One day, I asked him if I could meet his parents. He told me that he would bring me to meet his family on Valentine day. I waited for 4 hours in front of the gym, he didn’t come. He said he was caught in some kind of emergency involving his sister. I forgave him that first time.

Later, I continued to ask him about meeting his parents. When I was tired of asking, I demanded him. He finally admitted that his parents didn’t accept me. They said that the age difference was a big problem. They didn’t want their son to marry someone as old as his sister. I was crushed and aggravated. He comforted me by telling me that he would try to change his family’s mind.

I waited and there was no news. My mother found out about this. She was mad. When he came to the house later, my mother asked him what he would do if his parents still didn’t accept me. He told her to give him 4 more years until he can move out and be independent. Then he will marry me regardless of what his parents think.

My mother rejected this request. She told him if his parents don’t come with him to talk to her in 1 week, she won’t let him into the house anymore.

The next day, he told me that we should end this relationship. There are too many obstacles than he can handle. I tried to persuade him to change his mind. But it was too late; he has made his final decision.

3 months passed by but I still love him. He let me know that he has met another woman. She is working in the floor above us. He often held her hands in front of me just to get me jealous. I tried to talk to her. She boasted to me that he has taken her everywhere and bought her many presents. She even stressed that she has met his parents and they accepted her.

I am so confused. I keep asking myself 7 questions:

1. Is my mother’s anger the reason my relationship fell apart?

1. Did I sleep with him too soon? Did I take enough time to get to know him?

1. Did his family pressure him to break up with me? Or did he make his own decision?

1. Did he act romantically with the other woman so I will forget him?

1. How can he forget 2 years of romance so easily?

1. How can I forget him?

1. My mother told me to get another boyfriend to get revenge on him. Why be sad and depressed while he is out there happy and joyful with a new woman?
__________________________________

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[ElChombo]

His parents don't want him dating someone because they're A YEAR older than him, at the age of 24? There's something hugely wrong there.
Answers to your questions:
1) Was it your mother's fault? No, probably not.
2) Definitely not.
3) YES!
4) Perhaps... all in all though, very asshole thing to do
5) Maybe he's an ass.... this can be reinforced by question 4
6) Avoid all contact. This is quite effective.
7) Your mom sounds spiteful.... :S

Here's my advice: move on. There's no use dwelling on it.

[bluesummer]

1. Is my mother’s anger the reason my relationship fell apart? No, it's the fact that your ex bf can't stand up to his parents, and his parents are obviously weird.....who cares about one year's age difference?

1. Did I sleep with him too soon? Did I take enough time to get to know him? It doesn't SOUND like you slept with him too soon. Mind you, I consider the first date 'too soon'. Anything after that, it's game on. I don't know, do you THINK you took anought time to get to know him?

1. Did his family pressure him to break up with me? Or did he make his own decision? Sounds like a mixture of both....so consider it a bullet dodged.

1. Did he act romantically with the other woman so I will forget him? No, he sounds like an asshole that's trying to make you jealous....but not because he wants you back. Just because he's an asshole.

1. How can he forget 2 years of romance so easily? See last sentence of answer to preceding question.

1. How can I forget him? Go hang out with your friends, get a hobby, date someone else.

1. My mother told me to get another boyfriend to get revenge on him. Why be sad and depressed while he is out there happy and joyful with a new woman? Don't get another bf for revenge, date someone else because you WANT to. Stop thinking of this guy; you're broken up, now move on with your life and stop caring about him, his life, and what he thinks of you and what you're doing with your life.

[Off2College]

Wow you gave him half of your paycheck. I hope you asked for interest.

[Illusional]

i love it when others do all the hard work and i get to reap the rewards...any how, sherry you are dumb.. and your ex is a pussy..

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

1. Is my mother’s anger the reason my relationship fell apart? your mother is only presenting you with the logical answer. if your bf have a say to his parents now, what makes you think that things will be different 4 years down the road? i bet they would have his nuts tied so tight that he wouldn't dare to move out until he was engaged.

1. Did I sleep with him too soon? Did I take enough time to get to know him? i don't give a f*ck if you slept with him or not. you didn't mention anything in your post about this so why do you bring it up? however, if you slept with him after just a few days of chatter, then i'm also an energetic person that loves the gym. secondly, why the hell does this matter?? you can't take back the sexual sessions that you already had.

1. Did his family pressure him to break up with me? Or did he make his own decision? this is probably the dumbest part that i read in your entire post. so what if you're only a year... ONE DAMN YEAR.... older than him. his excuse was pretty weak being that he had to mention his sister was the same age as you. one year is no freaking difference in age. it's more like a mere few months if you ask me.

1. Did he act romantically with the other woman so I will forget him? no... he is simply rubbing this lust in your face. i would do this is you didn't want to forget about me.

1. How can he forget 2 years of romance so easily? i could... hey, maybe you're not the victim here and maybe you were a shitty gf. i dunno, but there are always two sides to the coin and i dunno any of you so i can't judge. personally i could forget 4 years of my life if i dated a total bitch. then again if i met a more magical woman, i'd call my girl right there to dump her ass. yes, guys can be a dick too.

1. How can I forget him? i'm single... duh, you have to figure this one out on your own. life is never simple.

1. My mother told me to get another boyfriend to get revenge on him. Why be sad and depressed while he is out there happy and joyful with a new woman? f*ck revenge... it would only cause you to let him linger in your thoughts. move on already and forget the past. quit this job if you have to. easier said than done right?? f*ck no, i quit my job before just to be the gentleman and let the girl keep her job.

i love to steal...

raverboy

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, Raver have another drink. This isn;t Sherri's story, its taken from her website. Some poster named 'Wendy' asked this question & Sherri is looking for answers here... hahaha.

[Tedel]

What a story, you know? My 'theory' here:

1. Is my mother’s anger the reason my relationship fell apart?

No, I don't think so. I think that he has issues at home he didn't know how to handle himself.

1. Did I sleep with him too soon? Did I take enough time to get to know him?

Maybe yes. For some men, trying to get into a girl's pants is not a way to show love but a test. He may have wanted to know whether you forced him to respect you instead of accepting sleeping with him. Sounds like this was one of these tests, and that, sleeping with him, you flunked it.

1. Did his family pressure him to break up with me? Or did he make his own decision?

I think that there's sure a family component there, but it may have also been just an excuse.

1. Did he act romantically with the other woman so I will forget him?

mm... Probably yes; the other option is that it is the other girl who is trying to show off to try to hurt you. Women are sometimes that weird, and you know it.

1. How can he forget 2 years of romance so easily?

Two years! Wow... but well, honestly, I forgot my ex that easy once too. Why? I don't know. Maybe it is because, when you have had something with a girl, she knows too much about you to be just a friend there onwards. I have never been able to remain friends with any girl I have been. Maybe he's that kind of guy too.

1. How can I forget him?

There is no need to forget him. You have had a beautiful time together and you can store that in your "drawer of your positive memories". The only thing you need to accept is that he is not your boyfriend anymore, and that the show must go on.

Mum once told me that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are a learning and discovery phase only. If there is no marriage, or intention of marriage, you should not give in yourself completely to it. I know it's hard to achieve sometimes, but you can try to keep this in mind next time.

1. My mother told me to get another boyfriend to get revenge on him. Why be sad and depressed while he is out there happy and joyful with a new woman?

mm... That's decidedly a bad idea. That may hurt you more in the end, not to mention you would be just using another guy. Be honest. Pull yourself together and then, if you meet another interesting guy and he's into you as well, start a nice relationship with him, because you don't deserve anything less than that.

Hope this helps.

[Pears]

I think he just completely used her for money and sex. The romance? Sounds fake to me.

[Illusional]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

LOL, Raver have another drink. This isn;t Sherri's story, its taken from her website. Some poster named 'Wendy' asked this question & Sherri is looking for answers here... hahaha.

i didn't read that line because i was too busy in my thoughts. but more so, why would you want to indulge in another person's problems ever so deeply?? i'm sure that she has her own shit to deal with.

raverboy

[someonelse]

This guy was a total tool in every way. Never give money or loan money. Never a good thing. Better off not to be w/a guy that can't make his own decisions and will always follow mommy and daddy. You would have had way more issues down the road. As for your mom she was right to be pissed. She knows you're a good person and why wouldn't everyone love you. As for the revenge thing she's probably thinking if she can get u to at least start going out you can start forgetting this complete waste of flesh.

[VirginsOnly]

Wow, your ex sounds like a btch who doesn't keep his words. tsk tsk tsk