In love with my closest friend...

[karot]

Im in love with a girl i guess im not supposed to. I met her 2 yrs ago and since then we have been closest friends that share everything with each other. I know all about her, her secrets, what she likes, and she knows all the same about me, ive opened up to her in ways ive never done to anyone else.
About 2-3 months after i met her i knew it wasnt a silly crush and i just didnt have the guts to ask her out. She always came to me with her problems, and one day she said "Daniel i need help". She told me she met this guy she liked, and he liked her (she knew that she had been told) and didnt know what to do cos she liked this guy back. I did what friends do i guess, i swallowed my feelings and went on with my life cos i told her to tell this guy the truth. I am also now friends with her boyfriend.
After that i liked her on and off in between liking a couple other girls (i am 17 after all) I went through a hard time that yr and failed school cos of the depression i faced. She has been with this guy for over a yr n a half, but things with them are rocky now. A couple months ago he said hes only about 80% sure he wants a relationship with her, and also he doesnt treat her right, he doesnt appreciate things, and when they went on a break he really didnt care.
Four girlfriends later for me ive been with this girl for nearly 15 months, ive never truly been able to say i love her (im a bad person) but i do care about her o take that amount of time out of my life. For the last 5 months we have faced problems, she is way tooo clingy, she thinks we should see each other everyday, she wants things to go back to how they were in the first months of the relationship (that doesnt happen in any relationship), she wnats to talk on the phone everyday, she never wants me to see my friends, her excuse is i should either be with her or on the phone to her.

So basically for the last 5 months ive been pushed away from her and enjoy the brief times we get apart. All this time ive found myself falling for my closest friend more than ever before, to the point where i started dropping hints and wanted to tell her. She got worried about me cos we tell each other everything and i was feeling like shit and i couldnt tell her why, this waas after i told her 'nothing ever turns out how i want it to' and 'i wish things were different'. Well she finally figured it out last nite and sent me an email askin if she was right, so what else could i do but tell her the truth...

What next??? She has a bf so how do i make sure i dont lose my closest friend ive ever had... or perhaps show her i would care for her how she deserves???

[Royston]

this is life man...torture of d human soul
my caaase quite same with u too just that im in love with my cousin olike for 2 years dee.she knew it too n we got a long great just that his dad busted us n i never got to meet her again.(or izit im too shy or embarased what had haapened)i didnt call her or meet her at all.few monthss haas passed dee.by d waay im 16 . ur age??

[karot]

Im 17. Yeah life is tuff at times isnt it. At least she sent me an sms saying im not going to ruin the friendship but we do need to talk... havent spoken to her yet, that was about 3-4 days ago.

[loveman]

well i dont see no problems with it if you love your best friend
this is the nice way to by in love do you have a problems with it loving you best friend

[vashti]

Quote:

Originally Posted by karot

What next??? She has a bf so how do i make sure i dont lose my closest friend ive ever had... or perhaps show her i would care for her how she deserves???

Yours is a very common situation, and it sounds like the ball is in her court. You say she KNOWS how you feel; the rest is up to her. She needs to decide if she likes you enough to dump her boyfriend. If she is pulling away from you after a week or two, my guess is that she does not reciprocate your feelings, though, so brace yourself. I think it is sometimes very hard for relationships to evolve this way.



PS - Royston, your situation is NOT the same as karot's. Stay away from your cousin. That is just gross.

[Mathias]

LOL @ Royston.

[Gigabitch]

Hey, karot. I think you should try to figure out why she's with a guy who doesn't treat her right. Then figure out why you're not treating your girlfriend right. You have a lot of stuff to think about before you risk your friendship with The Girl.

You're both young. Young relationships don't last forever. She and her bf will eventually break up. I think in the meantime, you should break up with your own gf, who also deserves to be with someone who loves her, and when your friend asks why, tell her you'd rather be alone that with someone you don't deeply care about. This will impress her, whether it shows or not.

This way you'll be available the next time she and her bf take a break.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Ha ha, I think I'm slightly dyslexic! I thought this thread was titled "I'm in love with my closet". Honestly I was intriqued. How does one fall in love with their closet?

Karot, as for your situation, you hopefully aren't putting off talking to her. It's hard, but you just need to get down to it. If it turns out she doesn't want to be with you, it doesn't mean you can't be friends. If she brushes you off, just don't let things get wierd (on your end at least). Me and a friend went out for a couple months recently, and he just stopped talking to me all of a sudden. He was trying to not hurt my feelings, but it just made it wierd when we did talk again. If she turns you down, just make sure to try and act normal. NOT like nothing happened, but just act as you always have.

I also agree with Giga. You and this girl both obviously have problems that you might want to work out before even thinking about having a relationship together.

In fact, just forget my advice, Giga's is so much better! She's a love guru, man!

[EtherealDream]

Tell her the truth, it's your best option, your feelings are far too strong for her to just remain friends. You will end up getting hurt, and if you tell her at least you will have a chance to know what she thinks. Not saying things will turn out the way you expect them to though.

[anecdotoff]

it's the best what can happen with you... Enjoy with your happiness

[Mathias]

Yeah.

If my best friend (yes, who's female) felt that way, I'd want her to tell me...even though I don't feel the same way.

A good friend would help you through that, as I would hope I could do for her.

[lovethingy]

i think its ok to love a friend , its your life any way why you have to stop your heart beating just because you are friends