Hi everyone, this is my first post...and this is my story.

It's a rather long story, as this story began approximately 2,000 days ago.

However, what triggered me to write again is watching a Japanese drama...I've written the story before...in Chinese (I'm Chinese), and I'm not even going to try to translate it into English...it'd be way way way too long...

For those that read Chinese, I'm happy to show you...for now...here's the story in ultra-short version.

She has the sweetest smile...so sweet, it's evil when she smiles...because I'd do anything just for those smiles.

3 years, she never said yes to our relationship.
3 years, I never forgotten her smile.

3 years, she's been with someone.
3 years, I've been with someone.

3 years ago, she said, she said no to us to save me, because she wasn't good enough and moved to another city.

2 years ago, she said, she loved me, yet never had the courage to take away my happiness.

1 year ago, we met in her city, I went to her room. Sat beside her all night, and never had the courage to even hold her tight.

8 months ago, we met again in her city, I baked cake for her birthday, because she said she'd like to eat the cake I baked once again.

This was my second cake, the first was also for her birthday, 3 years ago.

It was then, I decided that this relationship needed to end and I turned with tears, the trip back alone was filled with pain.

She told me, she had a ring, the same one as I, and the secret code on the ring was the date when we survived the accident together.

You said, your heart melt, when you saw my eyes filled with fear and rushed to you.

You said, your heart burnt, when you saw my eyes lost in space when I turned around to see you not in sight.

Many things were said.

I said I loved you.
I said I never changed.
I said I am sorry.
I said I want to see you.
I said I love you.

You said you loved me.
You said you changed
You said you are sorry.
You said you will forgive me.
You said you remember.

But I never had the courage.

Courage to hurt the one that love me so much.
Courage to hug the one that I loved so much.
Courage to face my true feeling.

This love, torn between two.
This love, 2,000 days and beyond.
This love, will it be eternal.

2,000 days and I still love you.

Your hand I never held.
Your lip I never tasted.
Your warmth I never embraced.
Your heart, only thing I touched.

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Oops...turned out to be a poem-ish story...sorry...

Anyway, comments are welcome...it's probably not very clear, but it's the gist of thing...

Short version of a 100,000 word story...written in Chinese...can't do much better than that!

Very 'mono no aware'.

Have you read any of Kazuo Ishiguro? (Remains of the Day), he writes in this style.

People love a good story of unrequited love, or in your case, requited love 'denied'. However, the devil is in the details. You need a good, believable reason (other than emotional cowardice) to explain why they stay apart.

Good stuff.

Mono no aware...?? What's that mean...?

No, I don't even know this Kazuo Ishiguro, but I will wiki him~

A good believable reason...other than emotional cowardice...

Um...there's none other than emotional cowardice...

PS. Why are the smilies on this forum look so bad...

Just Google it. I'm sure there is a Chinese counterpart to this concept, I just don't know what it is.

There's a related one, since you write, that you might also want to read about:

Ichi go ichi e, which loosely interpreted has to do with 'living in the moment'.

Um...would you happen to be Japanese?

So mono no aware = sensitivity to things...

Guess that's a good thing huh!

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Strength is the tears that you let out, wisdom is the ignorance you let in, courage is the love that you let go.

Nope, not Japanese. I just happen to know these things.

Those two concepts aren't unique to Japanese literature, btw (the Greeks had something called 'pathos'). They are popular themes in literature dealing with human suffering. The Japanese, as with many things, just happened to 'run with the concept', as they often do.

I see...I don't know much about literatures or anything like it...personally, I don't even like writing...

But sometimes, I just feel the need to let it all out...

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Strength is the tears that you let out, wisdom is the ignorance you let in, courage is the love that you let go.

Well, there you go. Two new concepts for the price of one today.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading your short summary. Sounds to me like you need to decide whether you want this to be a happy ending or not.

BTW, 'ichi go, ichi e' is also a comment about how to live life. If you are going to do something, do it absolutely the best that you can, like its the only chance you'll ever get.

Something to think about, H.

Hey, thanks for the encouragement.

I think, I've decided the ending long before I even met my current girlfriend...

I've always known deep down that I'll never be with her...I don't know why, but it was a feeling...

So I pursued her know it was never going to work...

However, ichi go ichi e suits me perfect here...

As I told myself, even though, the ending will not be the ending I wanted, but I know one thing for sure:

I truly loved - and this love is engraved into my bones and my heart and will flow with my blood for the rest of my life.

There was also a saying that I hear many people say:

You'll never end up marrying the one you love most, as it's always someone else...

So true...

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Strength is the tears that you let out, wisdom is the ignorance you let in, courage is the love that you let go.