| I want her back but how? No matter how hard and try to deal with it, I'm still thinking about her. I know its only been a week (technically a day) since we broke up but I can't imagine going back to my old routine before I met her. The things that we've been through. Walking on the mall, driving to Marine World, boardwalk, talking on the phone daily, grocery shopping, hand bag shopping, cuddling, going up the hills and kiss, eating in restaurants, watching movies, watching late night shows, massages, baby talks, brushing her hair, to her picking on my pimples, taking a shower together, cooking meals, walking on the park, feeding the ducks, riding the roller coasters, work out together, go dancing in clubs, burning her a new CD, listen to each other's jokes, sweet text messages, emails, go to best buy or fry's to check out stuff, holding hands and kissing in public, let her drive my car, her pushing me to do my homeworks, do biore' on my face, soaping my back, go to starbucks, go rent movies, her stroking and holding my arms (biceps) cause she loves my arms, late night calls, finding a bra for her, going to Oakland, give me medicine when I need some.
I'm trying to be strong and even went to gym last night and called my friend to come over. He took me to restaurant, entertained me and told me not to think about it. No matter how hard I try, I can't bear the changes that is momuntarily happening. There's no second person to push me anymore and be there when I need someone to talk to. I know that life goes on but how can I continue to live thinking that the other person who was once there isn't there anymore? I tried not to cry for I already spent couple of days doing that. Being in bed and not motivated in doing anything. My eyes dried out but my tears comes out while I'm writing this.
The person that I thought to be the 'right' person now disappeared. No matter how hard I try, I can't imagine her being with someone else other than me. Its not something I'm used to even though its only a six-month relationship. We never had a single argument that we never solved in a single day. We've been through a lot and we both even agreed that it seems like its been years already.
Last night, I gave her the freedom and break the relationship. I wish that all these things going on is just a dream but this is reality; and I have to face the facts. Breaking up is not easy but if its necessary to give her a sense of relief and happiness, I will accept it. Even though truly in my heart, I'm not ready to be apart.
I gave her a freedom but deep within me, there's something that tells me to get her back. I don't want to keep calling her as this will just drive her away even more. But what can I do when she tells me that maybe I want somebody younger close to my age? I told her that I don't want anybody else and I want only you. I want her back but how? It will take months before I can move on but how do you know that its over? for good?  | 
Linear Mode
