| Only Time will tell... I won't tell you my last name or my age, but I ask you to listen to my story.
I met a guy on the internet. I know that's a bad way to start a relationship but, I did it anyways. I was talking in a chatroom just talking with this guy, I didn't even ask his name until halfay through the conversation. I won't give you his name but I'll call him "T". We started out as just friends. Everything was great. T lives in Pakistan, and I live in canada. He's 6 years older than me, but that didn't bother me. (Yes T is Pakistani and I have no problems with that) A couple weeks after he and I were friends well, I got my first e-mail from him, while talking with him. I even know what day it was, it was May 27th. Well anyways, he sent me an e-card and well it basically said that he loved me. I was surprised, I'll tell you this, I've never really had a boyfriend, and well I never ever loved any guy except my dad.
Well I can say, I didn't say I love you back. We started going out over the net *sigh* and two weeks later I told him I loved him, and I was sure of it. The first month was great, but then around the second, we became closer, but T wasn't taking well to the seperation. We got into fights over nothing and well I spent a lot of time crying.
Last month, we had a major fight and well we seperated. Everything in my life suffered from my depression, and I mean everything, even my cat. Two weeks later we kinda got back together, but things just haven't been the same, he jokes around and everything like he did in the first month, but it was just hollow. I know he loves me, he still says it, but *sigh* something's diffrent.
Tomarrow it will be four months since he said he loved me. I wish I could just fly over to Pakistan and be with him, but I don't have the money. He can't even tell me how much he really feels because he's not perfect in English and I'm terrible in Urdu. My friends hae told me to leave him, it's just a net fling, but it's not. I've believed in true love since I was 4, and now that I found it, I can't have it. I'm terrified of losing him, but I am helpless. I can tell you I'll never marry anyone else, T may not be perfect, but he was perfect for me. All I have left to do is sit and wait, and watch our relationship die. I know he'll move on, marry some other girl, and people keep telling me that I'll move on, but in truth, my heart will never move on. When I was four, I knew I'd never get to have the one thing I ever wanted, and now I'm losing it. They say it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all, but for me, only time will tell.
Melanie  | 
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