I'll be disappointed if this doesn't get 100 replies.

I'll start:



Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.




Cartman: Okay, Token, give me a sweet bass line.
Token: I don't know how to play the bass.
Cartman: Token, how many times do we have to go over this? You're black. You can play the bass.
Token: I'm really tired of your racist views on this.
Cartman: Well then, get tired of them after you give me a bass line!
Token: (Plays the bass expertly) Oh, Goddammit.




Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

__________________

LOL

"Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp. "

"Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind."

"Cartman: Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding. "

Stan: Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Cartman: What is that like finding Jesus or something?


Mr. Garrison: No, that's wrong, Cartman. But don't worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.