I agree with this post.

You prescribe yourself medication?

Sometimes people don't have the answers for why they are the way they are.

Sometime people require therapy for biological disorders. Obviously they should be under a doctor's care.

That's the best therapist you can find, I agree.

But alot of people need more. Needing some direction to their thoughts. A different perspective. This is where a professionally trained therapist can help. But therapy only works if a person is 100% honest and 100% committed to solving their problems. This is the trick I think. This is why being ultraselective, when choosing a therapist, is vital. This person needs to be trusted completely.

I spent a little time in counseling when I was in my late teens, but never opened up to the doc. So, it was fruitless for me.

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Sniff first, then scratch.

I agree because some people are to odd to look deep inside them. They need someone else to do it and tell them that things are the way they are. I on the other hand would just feel like I am listening to everything I already know. I guess I would consider myself a person who when seeks professional help expects some form of mediction or mechanical help. Everyone is unique though so that is why I use me as an example. Some people do need psychiatrist's help but it is also not for everyone.

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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

So the trick becomes being honest with yourself.

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Sniff first, then scratch.

It's just the opposite for me, OV. The more odd appearing things within me seem, the easier it is for me to look.

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Speak less. Say more.

Wow, could not have said it better myself.

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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I know alot of people like that. I understand why its just I am not like them. I will admit when things suck because its my fault but I will also blame when I know its not my fault. I also think that psychiatrists follow rules of this society/culture only and that is their biggest negative fault.

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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

To be sure. Their primary job is to "integrate" you back into the society you may be hell-bent-for-leather totally convinced sucks. And YOU'RE crazy.

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Speak less. Say more.

If you look around closely you will see that in-fact this society is crazy and not the other people. There is no such thing as normal. I do agree though. That is their job to integrate into the society. Guess that is why I dont get along with them.

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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Well, indi, I've done marriage counselling with a fud (my name for PhD docs) and quite recently. Several sessions. Truth is, it hasn't made much difference regarding the issues of our relationship. But I didn't expect it to. Note this ISN'T saying there's no value to it, read on.

I think that for the reasonably informed, like yourself, who have read many of the pyscho-babble books out there, there isn't a whole lot to learn regarding specific "tools" for managing relationships. Its all out there for those inclined to learn.

What is does do, I find, is create a permissive, safe environment for issues to get aired out between parties. In these cases, the counsellor acts more as a facilitator to improve communication and limit misunderstandings. In short, ppl have to be on their best behaviour. This can be incredibly useful if communication has broken down, esp. to the point where even basic interactions are not functioning properly. For example, I discovered that things I took at face value, such as spousal requests wanting me around at home more, were actually issues about power & control--something I NEVER considered until the counsellor made this point and confirmed it w/my spouse. Up until that point I had never considered the possibility of this as a mixed message, it not being my own communication style, and never having been exposed to it before my marriage.

So you'll also learn about your own interfaces & responses if the counsellor is any good.

Hope this helps.

I had almost forgotten your second question about Why LF?

Basically, I found it during a Google for a subject of interest. Saw a couple of amusing threads and decided to try posting. Got to "know" a few of the local characters. Started posting as "self therapy" during a difficult time when I couldn't get my spouse to see a counsellor. Then posted my problem in a moment of insane desperation. Got some amazing responses, many of which caused me to scratch my head and think "hmm...there are ppl on the INTERNET who have their sh!t together better than me...". So I did my thing & got off the pot.

In a lot of ways, LF is like OVs mirror. Mostly, you'll get true answers, simply b/c theres no percentage for those on here to give anything other than brute honesty. Don't expect to always like it tho.

Now I'm just here 'cause its fun... there's a certain sadistic bent that is satisfied being brutally honest about someone ELSES problem...

Good points!

I did a google search as well, specifically for "relationship forum" - with the intention of writing things out to get them off my mind, and with the hopes of gaining some useful feedback (which I did).

I've grown to really like the community in the short time I've been here.