to tell or not to tell? - Page 2 - Love Forum

Tiay · #16 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 02:35 AM

nah, I have a website to do and a flash site mockup to do for the company that might be giving me an internship.

anachronistic · #17 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 02:51 AM

that's sweet tiay. well, tell your dad and leave it at that. it isn't your problem, tiay. i can't say that enough. then get crackin' on your web stuff!

^_^

Tiay · #18 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 03:06 AM

I think i'll confront my mom first, whatever I end up deciding.
at least i'm getting paid for the website. think of the money, tiay.. think of the money and the internship and spending the summer with the bf and get off the damn bed and take that shower I was gonna take in the morning where instead I lay transfixed in bed for two hours.. and clean up the room.. and do the damn work, all within this weekend, ideally.
you want to know something even more fun? A guy who's sort of a friend but who had/has? the giant three year long crush on me might be flying over here soon and he didn't even tell or ask me. wimp. there went my xmas hols

anachronistic · #19 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 04:54 AM

don't cheat on your bf, now. o_O

Tiay · #20 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 05:01 AM

no worries. but he IS bringing a spare nintendo wii remote, so maybe I'll beat him at tennis or something.

Gigabitch · #21 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 07:42 AM

What a disgusting situation to be in. It's always a shock to realize you've emotionally outgrown your parent, especially your same-sex parent. I'm sorry that's happening to you.

I agree with everyone who's suggested you confront her. Confront her hard.

Tiay · #22 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:11 AM

yup.

I told her. She went for option #2. Said that it was nothing, and would only worry dad to know, and she'll tell him later and he'll be okay about it (which makes no sense), and that it's one of those things that's "hard to explain to a child", and that I better promise not tell.
*ahem*.. yes, I suppose it is hard to explain why lying is suddenly a good thing when you've been saying it's a bad thing.
anyway, I cut her off and said I didn't care how she was going to twist it to make sense, I'm still disgusted by it and the only reason i'm not ratting on her yet is because, and i've realised this now, it's just not honourable for a grown man to hear about this stuff from his daughter. My dad is the type of man who'd be really shamed by that, especially considering all the energy he's put into keeping this household negative-vibe-free.

anachronistic · #23 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

yup.

I told her. She went for option #2. Said that it was nothing, and would only worry dad to know, and she'll tell him later and he'll be okay about it (which makes no sense), and that it's one of those things that's "hard to explain to a child", and that I better promise not tell.
*ahem*.. yes, I suppose it is hard to explain why lying is suddenly a good thing when you've been saying it's a bad thing.
anyway, I cut her off and said I didn't care how she was going to twist it to make sense, I'm still disgusted by it and the only reason i'm not ratting on her yet is because, and i've realised this now, it's just not honourable for a grown man to hear about this stuff from his daughter. My dad is the type of man who'd be really shamed by that, especially considering all the energy he's put into keeping this household negative-vibe-free.

i think it would hurt him more if he found out, himself...

Tiay · #24 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:16 AM

I guess I'm just.. protective of him.

jurupa · #25 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

yup.

I told her. She went for option #2. Said that it was nothing, and would only worry dad to know, and she'll tell him later and he'll be okay about it (which makes no sense), and that it's one of those things that's "hard to explain to a child", and that I better promise not tell.
*ahem*.. yes, I suppose it is hard to explain why lying is suddenly a good thing when you've been saying it's a bad thing.
anyway, I cut her off and said I didn't care how she was going to twist it to make sense, I'm still disgusted by it and the only reason i'm not ratting on her yet is because, and i've realised this now, it's just not honourable for a grown man to hear about this stuff from his daughter. My dad is the type of man who'd be really shamed by that, especially considering all the energy he's put into keeping this household negative-vibe-free.

Tell your dad what is going on and that you do not like that you been put in the middle of things. It may be best for your parents to get divorced. Because staying together for the sake of the kids when the relationship between the parents is not good, does more harm than good, trust me on this one.

vashti · #26 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jurupa

staying together for the sake of the kids when the relationship between the parents is not good, does more harm than good, trust me on this one.

That depends on the couple and their level of interest in keeping things civil.

Tiay, does your mother know how angry you are? Because I hate to point it out, but it looks like you went a little soft - not that I blame you. This would be a very difficult conversation to have with your parent at your age.

Are you doing okay?

anachronistic · #27 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Are you doing okay?

remember, tiay, we love you.

we will always be your eFamily.

jurupa · #28 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

That depends on the couple and their level of interest in keeping things civil.

It does not matter. Kids know if there are problems between their parents or not, it does not matter how civil and how well the parents put on the show to make it as if there are no problems. Body language tells the kid other wise. I am not saying that kids are experts at body language, but they can detect happiness from sadness from being angry.

vashti · #29 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jurupa

It does not matter. Kids know if there are problems between their parents or not, it does not matter how civil and how well the parents put on the show to make it as if there are no problems. Body language tells the kid other wise. I am not saying that kids are experts at body language, but they can detect happiness from sadness from being angry.

Because of the seriousness of this thread, and because I do not wish to derail Tiay's thread, I will not debate you here about the effects of divorce on children, but you can start another thread about it if you like.

Tiay · #30 (**permalink**) 31-12-06, 09:06 AM

aw, you guys (: what would I do without you?

yes, I do think I went too soft on her. it's hard to be hard.

jurupa; it's funny how if you had been the first to post in this thread, my reaction would've been "yes! someone agrees with me! I'm gonna go tell my dad".. but now I'm not sure.

I realise that even though it has a big effect on me, my parents marriage is their own and how they handle their issues is up to them, as long as they don't put me or my brother into the middle.