stupid fight with friend

i'm a bit upset at a friend right now. last week she went to go see a movie with her friend, becca the night before our plans to hang out. i was a bit flustered that she was going with becca, because becca is known for doing stupid shit like drugs and ****ing random guys.

i am a protective friend, but i don't mean to go budging my ass into other people's business. i have the respect and dignity to be upfront with my friends on all topics, and i expect the same in return, but in this case, i don't feel that my friend played her end of it.

in this case, i waited 2 hours at the park (we were going to play frisbee golf) and she didn't show up. i called her and it sounded like trouble (stupid shit going on in the background) she seemed anxious to get off the phone, i asked if everything was okay, she said yes and i'm not exactly sure what happened. the conversation was short, and it ended with "sorry näte, i'll call you and tell you later what happened". at this point i was really worried that something had happened to her.

i waited all night for a phone call, worried, and a phone call never came. next day she sent me a god damn text message in the afternoon (those really irritate me) but i was really happy to hear from her. i tried to bring up the subject casually and she responded to the text message the next day saying "I just didn't feel good. I am sick of being asked the same damn questions all the ****ing time." she never cusses and she is usually a really nice girl. i responded with "hey now, i'll talk when your all calm."

was i right on my part? am i giving her too much grace?

[DoesntMatter]

I don't know exactly what to tell, but I believe people should be responsible for their own actions and their own stupid/smart doings. But... I think that disagreements and conflict are necessary to have with people you like, or are close to. In fact, I personally will sometimes do subtle things to upset people if I have been agreeing with them for too long, as stupid as that sounds. I think it's good to disagree and fight a little with people you like. But this sounds like somethng a little more than a fight...

Hopefully she isn't doing anything that she can't handle, most people really shouldn't be doing many drugs. And maybe she doesn't care if the guys are assholes. Idk..

[loveadmin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilwing

was i right on my part? am i giving her too much grace?

she doesn't appreciate for whatever you do. Mainly taking you for granted.

hmm, i would say she is lucky to have a friend like you. Only close friend will tell you your mistake. Stranger don't.

If you can, do your best to help her to be a better person. As you said, she is a nice person but she still lack in some other areas. Go slow and find the right time to tell her these minor problems.

[Gigabitch]

I think you should get her alone and confront her. Tell her exactly what you're worried about and that you care. Even if she shrugs it off, she'll get the message that if she starts to slip into the abyss, somebody's going to notice.

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Even if she shrugs it off, she'll get the message that if she starts to slip into the abyss, somebody's going to notice.

That, or they'll notice then decide it's not worth the effort and stop caring.

[misombra]

oh your name is nathan? how sweet i have a cousin that i'm close to named nathan. okay find, i'll stop calling you lilbitch and start calling you nathan. unless you're being a lilbitch

anyway, some people need to learn their lessons on their own and they're not gonna listen to and will probably get upset because you're telling them what they don't want to hear. it's just common with people. my friend gets mad at me and tells me how cynical and pessimistic i am all the time, when i feel like i'm just being honest with her and telling her how it is. but i have to step aside and let her do things and deal with the consequences herself.

it would be nice if people listened to reason, but often you will find that they don't. people have hard heads. i would just back off and let your friend learn for herself what a destructive friend she has. i had a friend who drank and did drugs and slept with people too, but that wasn't me or what i did, that's what she did. i finally decided that we shouldn't be friends but it wasn't until years later. people would tell me to avoid her and i wouldn't listen, i had to figure it out myself.

you're a good friend nathan, but learn to back off a little. freedom of choice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

oh your name is nathan? how sweet i have a cousin that i'm close to named nathan. okay find, i'll stop calling you lilbitch and start calling you nathan. unless you're being a lilbitch

'nathan' is my name but you spelled it wrong. without the ä it would be naethan.


thanks for all your input guys. i am thinking about what to do.

[Jimmy1218]

She's into drugs, i swear.

[misombra]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilwing

'nathan' is my name but you spelled it wrong. without the ä it would be naethan.


thanks for all your input guys. i am thinking about what to do.

liar.
____

damnit, here's your update.

i went to my youth group tonight and my ex girlfriend was there. i have no idea why she was there but i was stricken with all kinds of guilt. i couldn't stop thinking about her... and here this whole time i thought i was completely over her.

well i left after the youth group meeting to go pick my brother up. i swear, my ex girlfriend's car drove by 3 times while i was there. it was creepy shit. as i was leaving town, her car zig zagged in the streets behind me. she followed me all the way to the highway. waht the ****? (this was all an hour after youth group. she must have been watching my moves to know i was still in town.)

anyways, my friend seems to be in a worse mood tonight. she was chatting with one of her friends about something and her friend was patting her on the back, it looked like a drama scene. not sure what i should do at this point.

*begins to meditate*

[Gigabitch]

Ugh. Tiresome.

Call her, tell her you're available if she wants to talk, and then leave it alone.