Did you hate your family growing up too?

Well, what happened this late in the evening with me family has rendered me unable to sleep. I'm quite depressed about this place; it's a dire predicament for me. If you have my website and want the details, you should go there. I posted what happened this evening. PM me if you don't I'll send it to you, I'm just reluctant to post the URL.

I'm consulting loveforum for some advice though. I'm beginning to hate my family. Sure, a little part of me will always love each one of them and wish the best for them, but truth is, they cause me too much misery. I can't stand being around them, and I always get hurt directly for things that are beyond my control. I don't like being around them. I'm probably repeating myself, and I probably sound like I am going schizo, but that's because I'm just bringing up feelings that I never talk about or write about... well, they're finally coming out, guys.

I don't want help with any particular situation. I just want to know how I can cope with this stress. There is no way to compromise anything with anyone in my family. They're so thick-skulled and opinionated. It's getting to the point where I am embarrassed to be a part of the family and don't want to be a part of it. I would rather have nobody than this malicious bunch.

They want me to visit and come home, but when I come back and it's the way it is, it makes me want to get the hell out. I feel like I need to get my own apartment, and I feel guilty about that. I think that's what I am honestly going to have to resort to this summer when I go back, though.

I really don't have anything to say... in fact I am speechless. I just needed to dig up this garbage. I know I'll be picking up the pieces of me later.

hmm. i think it was vashti who once said something like.. as you grow older you resent your family more because it makes the moving out part easier.

well something like that and i think its 100% true

[Gigabitch]

Amazon.com: Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their...
Check out this book, 'wing.

Giga, are you sure that would help?

[vashti]

Hating your parents at your age is extremely common. In fact, I can't think of many people who didn't have issues with their family at your age. LNF is right - I believe this is nature's way of ensuring the younger generation has the proper motivation to move out on their own.

I know your parents aren't ideal, but you love them, and I bet they love you, too. Therefore, I don't suggest burning any bridges. I don't believe you are in a position to support yourself finanacially, and so you will have to depend on them in some ways.

I suggest rather than going home for summers, you consider summer school and internships.

[DoesntMatter]

Man that sucks. Would it be possible for you to take a light summer course instead and get a job somewhere on or near campus to make money at the same time? You might want to look into that if your family is driving you crazy like that

Or even during the winter (next winter that is) take an easy course at school. Or spend a lot of time visiting friends from college and staying at their places. What would your family think about you being absent for those reasons (or does it matter)?

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Hating your parents at your age is extremely common. In fact, I can't think of many people who didn't have issues with their family at your age. LNF is right - I believe this is nature's way of ensuring the younger generation has the proper motivation to move out on their own.

I know your parents aren't ideal, but you love them, and I bet they love you, too. Therefore, I don't suggest burning any bridges. I don't believe you are in a position to support yourself finanacially, and so you will have to depend on them in some ways.

I suggest rather than going home for summers, you consider summer school and internships.

I'm sure that a lot of people hate their parents around my age, but for different reasons than me. You're right that my family is not ideal... I'm seeing it as intolerable. I like to think of myself as quite a resistant person, but the position I'm being pushed into time and time again is making me uncomfortably unhappy.

And you're right that there is still love there, although very difficult to realize and understand often. I've begun feeling like burning bridges is the only solution I have to get away from it. Being that yes, I am financially unstable, and not knowing how to become financially stable, it's very difficult for me to find a place to start. I wish I could just focus on my studies at school and not have to worry about money and being able to support myself, but I think that maybe it's time to separate myself from my family financially and get a job.

[DoesntMatter]

You know how people seem to get along better and love eachother more when they aren't living together (think: older kids and parents)? Yeah... Just limit your time around your parents as much as possible

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoesntMatter

Man that sucks. Would it be possible for you to take a light summer course instead and get a job somewhere on or near campus to make money at the same time? You might want to look into that if your family is driving you crazy like that

Or even during the winter (next winter that is) take an easy course at school. Or spend a lot of time visiting friends from college and staying at their places. What would your family think about you being absent for those reasons (or does it matter)?

I was thinking about taking one of the more challenging courses (for myself) like History during the summer, anyway. I appreciate the suggestion, and I'll be looking for a job over Spring. I'm not sure if it would be wise to work during the semester, however...

I doubt that the University I go to offers courses during the winter. I know they allow people to stay in the dorms over break, but nearly everybody goes home. I'd have absolutely no social life, and without a job, no money to support myself during that time.

I think my family really appreciates it when I come up, everything is fine for a while, but then there are moments like last night that just remind me of the way it used to be... the reasons why I don't like being at home. That is why I would feel guilty about avoiding this place, they would miss me and all. I think that having a job and studies during the summer would give me an excuse to not be around, but I would still feel guilty about that.

Yeah, I've been feeling kind of guilty because I feel like I am not spending enough time with my family or friends, but rather just keeping to myself. Maybe that's what I should be doing, I don't know why it's bothering me...

[Frasbee]

I was gonna type out this long response...but it all comes down to, yes I still don't like my "family".

Hell, I don't even love them.

[DoesntMatter]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilwing

I doubt that the University I go to offers courses during the winter. I know they allow people to stay in the dorms over break, but nearly everybody goes home.

Well you could hang out with all the foreign students and maybe find some hot German chick, at a minimum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

I was gonna type out this long response...but it all comes down to, yes I still don't like my "family".

Hell, I don't even love them.

How did you get out of the predicament? I think that is where my road crosses your road.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoesntMatter

Well you could hang out with all the foreign students and maybe find some hot German chick, at a minimum

Honestly, I wish it were that simple. I only met one foreign exchange student during my first semester. She was from Germany, 23 years old, out of my league, and taken. It's a good thing I didn't ask her out or anything.

edit: I am looking forward to getting a decent girlfriend next semester though... better than the last one anyway...

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilwing

How did you get out of the predicament? I think that is where my road crosses your road.

I left.

Moved 20 minutes away into my father's house.

Then went into AmeriCorps.

Came back to live with my dad.

And now I'm in Lawton, Oklahoma...soon moving to New Orleans, Louisiana.

Cut off all financial ties and you're golden.

Approximately how much money did it take you to do so?