Had to put this one up too. Boy do
I relate!!!!!
Ladies vs. Real Women
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto:
"I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who the hell cares?
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to
worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white
powder mess on the bottom of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the
son of a bitch for you.
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over shit, so don't do it.
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it. (oh yeah baby!
)
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice
cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ *^
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...we f*cked up!!"
Seriously though, we are probably the most unhealthy continent (food consumption-wise) in the world. The UK may be in the running too though. I try (and I stress the word TRY), to keep lots of fresh fruit and vegies handy so the kids can munch on those when they get home. IF they are cleaned right away, (ie: when I get home from the grocers) then they'll be eaten. But God forbid one of the kids has to take out the celery, clean it and cut it up themselves! "Oh mum, that's just too much work!" Pahlease!!! And then they say, "can't help it mum. I'm lazy", like it's an acceptable excuse! We've switched to a lot of "whole" foods though, for health reasons. You know, the fruit instead of juice, whole wheat instead of things made from white flour. I read that if you eat a slice of white bread you might as well picture it as a slice of sugar because your body treats it the same. Not good. Anyhoooooo
....sniff.....sniff........ 
Linear Mode
