Why do I attract people that do drugs ?? - Love Forum

BillyGalbreath · #1 (**permalink**) 26-08-04, 10:29 PM

Every since High School - even before I started to ever do drugs - I would always attract the crowds that were big druggies. I don't understand it - I've ALWAYS look like a nerd by the way I dress - and I don't really act like a druggie. I never can make friends that DONT do drugs. Its like only people that are ****ed in the head like to be around me.

My Dad's side of the family is all goodie-goodie. My Mom's side is all druggie-druggie. I don't get along on a personal level with my Dad's side - its impossible. But I get along perfectly with my Mom's side.

All my friends do drugs. Every girl I attract does drugs. Anyone even remotely close to being normal doesnt like me. And I don't know why. At least not on a personal level.

I don't do drugs. Ok, well maybe a little bit. but its a rare thing. To be honest I haven't done any drugs since February. And even tho I am as sober and as clean as can be, I still can't get in good with the non-druggies.

To be honest with you all I hate all drugs, except for x and weed. I know alot of my friends do coke, acid, meth, bars, heroine, etc etc.. I don't even know them all i am sure. And I look around and I hate it. I hate seeing them do it. I hate seeing what it does to them. I hate being around it. I feel contaminated by it, somehow..

Last night I picked up Elena so we could hang out. Earlier in the day over the phone she confessed to me she does coke on a regular basis. I freaked of course, but then thought maybe I could try to help her. So we are hanging out and I am waiting for a good time to talk about it so i dont end up preaching to her. Well she rubs her nose later in the night and then sneezed and sniffed in.Well, she freaks out and looks at me with this huge smile and said "OMG ! There was still some in there !" I didn't know what to say and just shook my head and unwrapped my arms from her and laid back on my bed away from her. It really hurt me to see her do that shit. Within 30 minutes I piled everyone in the truck and we went to the store to get some diapers and then drop everyone off at home. Well in the store she starts trippin hard. She got all wild and crazy and loud, almost like she was on speed or something - idk. When I was trying to check out she kept grabbing candy from the shelf and scanning it on the U-Scan thing... I had to get the clerk to void everything off the ticket but the diapers. I was ****ing raging with anger at this point. So we get back in the truck and I just start to drive and Brandon says "where we going?" I repliesd that i didnt know. Then Elena says loudly "Taking me home" - without thinking my responce was "Thank God". Everyone got silent and then Elena said "Good, its ok. You dont ever have to come pick me up anymore either." I said nothing and just took her home.

When she gets out of the truck I think she ****ing forgot what i was going to tell her. She is all happy and even grabs my head and kisses me and then falls out of the truck onto the ground, gets up and runs upstairs to her apartment. Me and Brandon just looked at each other and thats when i told everyone that she was on coke - and Brandon was like "I thought she was on that - I could just tell"

Soon after the night ended - and blah blah. But ANYWAYS - thats the shit I am talking about. Why do I get friends like this ? All my friends are like that - some worse than others. Any girl that I like and/or likes me does drugs. Its like no matter where I go or who I see, only the drugs heads are the ones willing to talk to me.

WHY ?

LucidDream · #2 (**permalink**) 26-08-04, 11:04 PM

I realy cant comment on this since I know **** all about drugs.
I live in a big drug hotspot for the UK, and yet everyone I know exept one is clean and hates drugs.

BillyGalbreath · #3 (**permalink**) 26-08-04, 11:07 PM

Horoscopes Thursday, Aug 26, 2004
Conflicts between duty and pleasure, or between sober practicality and a yearning for love and emotional satisfaction, are likely now. This can be a very frustrating time, and you are likely to feel quite alone, emotionally aloof, or withdrawn.

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I just thought I'd throw my horoscope in here, just for the non-believers to see how true these things are.

LucidDream · #4 (**permalink**) 26-08-04, 11:49 PM

Mine is

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horoscopes Thursday, Aug 26, 2004

No matter what type of dilemma you're trying to work out, don't do it alone. Trust in the wisdom of an experienced friend, an elder or a family member you've always been close to.

I dont belive in astrology, but I do find it interesting.

cyberken · #5 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 04:45 AM

Hey Billy drugs are a big problem and that is just a fact but that does not mean that you steep to their level to fit in. Just know that everyone you meet will not always be into drugs but it is common and not to preach but what these people are doing to their bodies now will effect who and what the become in the future.

I hold on to one thought in life
"Only I will suffer the consequences of my behavior."
I choose not to do drugs and everybody doesnt do drugs
Best wishes
Cyberken

BillyGalbreath · #6 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 04:51 AM

I dont ever go down to their level - I have my own level that I stick with and I am happy with. I just find it odd that people that become my friends or are the least bit interested in me are big time druggies. I don't do any of the drugs they do. And i never will. They dont pressure me into doing them or anything - I just got to thinking about it earlier... No matter where I go or who I see, only a druggie will start a conversation with me. Everyone else kinda walks away.

tooxshort · #7 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 07:19 AM

maybe there IS something in the way you look that they relate to?? in all honesty, that's all i can really say ... i mean, when i see ur picture in the gallery, you don't look all clean n sober! hahaa no offense ..

BillyGalbreath · #8 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 11:46 PM

Maybe your right.. Idk.

I just tried to join in on a conversation in my office with my co-workers.. and yet AGAIN the group disipated when I entered the room.. So I left to smoke a cig and when I come back in they are all in the room again talking.. I waited a bit then walked in with them and sat down in MY chair by MY desk thats in that room (I have 3 desks in this building) and I listened for awhile of what they are talking about. I dont think anyone noticed me enter the room. They were talking about child birth. Well, Karina said that child birth was discusting and it got silent for a second and I said "I think childbirth is the coolest thing ever". Carrie (my boss) says "Well thats because you're off your axis" she then laughs with everyone and then says she was joking. Room got silent and everyone left..

Karina (whom has a desk in that room too) says to me "damn Blake, you really know how to clear a room." Blake is my middle name, btw. After about another 2 minutes of silence I left the room and came back to my main office. What is so bad about me that I can't join an everyday normal conversation without people making fun of me and/or walking away ? If the same senario would have happened, but everyone was big time druggies, we all would have started talking and shit.

I guess I should just go back to my old ways - at least then I will be part of something. I don't seem to be able to "fit in" at all with the normal people.

tooxshort · #9 (**permalink**) 28-08-04, 07:45 AM

I dunno ... do u always tend to "debate" when u enter rooms or start conversations??

BillyGalbreath · #10 (**permalink**) 30-08-04, 06:30 AM

i wasnt debating - i was just throwing my two cents into the convo...