Some more steam against my dad - Love Forum

sfalexi · #1 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 12:12 AM

So the other day he tells me, "Hey. Get ready to go buy yourself a car cause I'm going to sell yours next week." For refreshers, this is the same car that my father handed the keys to me and said to my face, "Here. It's the last big thing I'll ever do for you." Looks like it wasn't even that, huh?

So I ask him why he's selling it. "You don't take care of it."

"What do you mean I don't take care of it? I change it's oil. It has an oil leak and I'm constantly putting fresh oil in it to keep the level good."

"Oh. Well you don't help me out with it."

"You said all you wanted was $50 a month. I'm paying you that money. So how do I not help out with it?"

"Oh . . . . "

Then he left. I'm ****ing sick and tired of him ****ing with my life, dangling all this shit over my head and trying to scare me into this or that. I just wish the ****ing divorce would go through, and that he'd leave. He SHOULD have left three goddamn months ago, but his lawyers kept stalling.

I'm gonna work even MORE hours now to save up for my OWN car. With my OWN title and registration, and my OWN insurance. After that, there's nothing else that he can use to blackmail me with. And I'll finally be rid of the goddamn bastard.

Rod Steele

LucidDream · #2 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 02:24 AM

Hey, good for you.
Pritty nasty having your dad push you around like that.
Good luck!

jslaughter · #3 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 01:49 AM

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles with your Dad - my parents and I have some problems when money becomes involved - its why I don't have my degree right now. So here I am unemployed and dependent on Mom and Dad for financial help AGAIN and they are pulling on the strings. (Dad called and gave me half an hour to go help clean out the gutters if I want any help from him.) So while my parents aren't as bad as yours - I can relate.

sfalexi · #4 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 01:19 PM

After talking it over with my mom, she said she'd help me out. She said she'll take out a pension loan (borrowing against her own pension) which means she'll get a very low interest rate (3 - 4 percent). She'll help me buy a car, and I'll just pay off her loan. Instead of me trying to get a loan on my own and paying like 18 percent interest.

So at least I know that SHE'S on my side.

Rod Steele

Fawn · #5 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 10:50 PM

ahhh moms, they can usually pull you through anything

well, in some cases that is ...

BillyGalbreath · #6 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 11:13 PM

I hear ya man ! I am going thru some problems with my dad as well right now. He is flat ass broke - living from paycheck to paycheck - and he still doesnt have enough to make ends meet. He owes me a few hundred dollars he has borrowed in the last few weeks. And just last night he said the thing that made me the maddest. It showed his weekness. He is jealous - or something. I have plenty of money - it is not a problem for me. I can buy whatever I want and still have enough to make everything pull thru. Last night he got mad at me and said "I don't want you spending your money anymore. You keep going out and buying all this junk that makes you happy and going places with your friends to have fun while I am stuck here with no money, cant buy anything and cant go anywhere. Its not right to me." I just looked at him all funny and didnt say a word.

He does help me pay some of my bills - which are next to none - so that I can save to buy a car. and I have plenty of money - I could go out and buy one today if I wanted. But about a month ago he told me not to buy a car that I will have to pay court fees real soon.. So I've been waiting.. And spending a few bucks here and there. Okay - maybe a bit more than a few bucks, its about 50% of my paycheck every week I spend. I go everywhere - I buy the most expensive foods - I buy the most expensive smokes. And I spend about $150 in gas a week in the truck because I am always going somewhere - But back to the point. I still have plenty of money. I could go buy a car.. Get insurrance on it - drive it to my lawyer and pay off the fees I owe - then still have at least $500-1000 left in the bank... I'm not dumb when it comes to money. Yeah I spend alot - but I DO have limits, and I do not exceed them.

Just because he is having problems, why the hell should I suffer with him ? lol - its insane. I am no longer mad about it because of my mood shifts - I just thinks its ****ed up and funny as all hell.

My dad is the most wack person I've ever known. I could go one for hours about him. He is the kind of dad that tries to shelter me from everything and thinks he is helping me out by doing certain things, when all he is really doing is making me miss lifetime opportunities, and holding me back. He is in my way 95% of the time.

He loves to help people. Which is a good thing, dont get me wrong. But its also his weekness. Someone will ask him for help to the next level - and he will sit there and help you get up there, but once your there he wont stop. He will keep pushing and pushing trying to get you farther than you're meant to be until you finally fall. Either that or he will help you out so much that it will push himself down. And if that happens you just made his shit list, and he'll go after you and make sure you are pulled down to his level. So either way, you're going to have a hard time with him.

oh man - I will stop where I am. I am recalling up my entire past living with him and I am getting angered.

I love my dad. This much is true. But he just gets in my way most of the time. And thats what I hate. Not him.

Zekk_T_Strife · #7 (**permalink**) 08-09-04, 04:43 AM

That's a damn long reply for something not at all related to alexis situation.

jane · #8 (**permalink**) 14-09-04, 10:22 AM

Alexi..
Sorry to hear about this issue with you dad. I must say that I have been there with the same thing going on. My dad bought me my first car and although I paid him back all the money .. he still uses that to this day to get me to do stuff.. He says stuff like.. " well, who helpped you buy your first car so you could get a job.. it certainly wasnt your mother..." .. unfortuately .. it took me years to figure out that this was a game for him. He kept trying to get inbetween my mom and I.

The most ****ed up thing about it is that I hate my mom for other reasons now.. and I my dad and I are really close. Im not saying that this will pass or that he will become your best friend .. Im just saying that no matter how good or bad they are.. they are still out parents.. I hate them for putting me in the middle of their divorce.. but they are still my parents.. ya know?

Anyway, hang in there and vent any time you like. I hope it makes you feel better.

nomas · #9 (**permalink**) 15-09-04, 01:38 AM

Sorry to hear about your relationship with your Dad, Alexi. I can't say I can relate because I have a great relationship with my family, but just speaking from what's gone on afterward, it goes without saying that things have solutions..only death doesn't have a remedy. Looks like it will work out because if you're Mom's pension is like my company's system, then yeah, you can borrow money from yourself for a small one time fee, then pay it back with smaller interest than a bank or credit union will offer, but the beauty is that it's all for yourself anyway...or in this case, for your Mom and there'll be minimal loss on the deal...it will just take a little while to pay off, but don't be bummed out on that because that's the way the system works, and I gotta say, it's a pretty sweet deal as compared to other countries where you would simply not be able to get a car of your own at all.

But it looks like you got it under control.

Freddie