what is a friend exactly? - Love Forum

shenmue · #1 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 10:36 AM

Y'know, lately I find myself sort of questioning what exactly a friend is. Growing up I never really had many friends, and the few I did have weren't good ones, thry treated me pretty crappy. It got to the point where I didn't even want friends, and so for a long time I just kept to myself. Eventually I decided I should mellow out, and try to be a friendly, nice guy but I was mostly rewarded for it the same was I always was, I got treated like crap for it. This happened over and over again. I recently began training at a great brazilian jujutsu place, and I considered the guys there to be my friends. But a few of them have acted weird and I decided to just consider them acquaintences, just people I train with.
After all the crap I've been through, I have a hard time with the question: what exactly IS a friend? I see plenty of other people out there that have them, I'm the only one I know that really doesn't have any, but I'm used to that. It doesn't bother me or anything I just want to get an answer I guess.

TheRealPsiPhi · #2 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 11:04 AM

You know, I feel for you. I can't define it for you.

However, I do find that me being the nice guy that I am that I get ****ed over more than praise. I wish I could change. I hate it.

Frenchguy · #3 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 01:58 PM

A friend is someone you care about, and that care about you.

Nice Lover Boy · #4 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 02:39 PM

A good friend stabs you in the front, not in the back. That's what I say.

Clifton · #5 (**permalink**) 07-12-04, 03:35 PM

to me, a friend is anyone you could call family, but whos not, and i mean by that, someone that is by your side, no matter what, if you need them- they are there for you, in ANY situation, that is to me what sets apart friends and aquantinces. Loyalty.

Frasbee · #6 (**permalink**) 09-12-04, 03:35 AM

It's the dude who you almost drowned with, and forgives you for it despite the fact it was your stupid idea in the first place.

Illusional · #7 (**permalink**) 09-12-04, 07:32 AM

i have no friends, i only have enemies and enemies of my enemies.

raverboy

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 09-12-04, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

i have no friends, i only have enemies and enemies of my enemies.

raverboy

I just wanted to let you know that I hate you, and you are my enemy.

val · #9 (**permalink**) 10-12-04, 12:26 AM

Friend is who knows you good and likes you anyway

blue · #10 (**permalink**) 10-12-04, 12:50 AM

right now i am experienceing the same feelings you are. I do have friends that i consider special and i have great relationships with but they are few! Sometimes you think you know someone and you really dont and that hurts especially when you give your friendship with no limits. Then they **** you! Yeah its not a great feeling at all.
My granny used to tell me all the time that your real friends are your family and for the most part with the exception of few its so true.

LucidDream · #11 (**permalink**) 10-12-04, 06:46 PM

I think aquantances are a large group of people you know.
Friends are a small group of people you know well and spend time with.
Good friends are an even smaller group of people you know well, spend time with and trust.

I find that the more 'unpopular' people have more friends & good friends. Because they only know a few people, they spend alot of time getting to know them.

The 'popular' people have a very large group of aquantances- people they are fammilier with, but don't realy know. They can have a huge party with people they only know the names of, but don't know them all that well.
So they don't spend as much time getting to know people well, and realy only have a few good friends. The 'popular' people can be the most lonely, and their first reaction to this lonelyness is to make more friends, which doesn't help.

Spend time getting to know a few people, don't take on too many at once. Make the first steps, take them out of the jujutsu place and get to know them. Invite them out for a drink and just talk. Even if there are only a couple of people that go, then that's ok, it makes it easier to get to know a couple of people at a time. They both might intorduce you to some of their friends. After they've intorduced you to them, invite them out, or tell your friends to bring a few of theirs. The couple of friends from the dojo may not have the same friends, so their friends wont know eachother either, so you wont be the only one that doesn't know everyone, and you get that 'making friends' atmosphere. Just don't go overbord with making friends, elce they will become aquantances. I made that mistake at the begining of Uni a couple of months ago, and now I'm only left with a few friends. But at least they are people I know and trust.

Frasbee · #12 (**permalink**) 11-12-04, 03:05 AM

That's pretty much how I see it Lucid.