Trouble in Paradise - Love Forum

GrkScorp · #1 (**permalink**) 01-10-06, 03:07 PM

Contrary to what the title may suggest, there is in fact no trouble in paradise.

I do however have a bit of a problem. My girlfriend and I where talking about career goals, and she was just frustrated at me. We both have our B.S. in Accounting and M.A. in Economics. She wants to feel different though. Distinct from me, academicly. I have been suggesting an M.B.A., or a Ph.D in Economics. We both don't know what to do at this point, but one thing is for certain, and that is that she is frustrated! And when she is frustrated, I am frustrated.

I guess what I want to ask to the women over here, is why it's so important for a woman to feel different from her partner, relative to her education. How serious is this issue? And what career choices would you make if you had an M.A. in Economics and a B.S. in Accounting?

At this point, I guess it's worth mentioning that she wanted to go to Medical School, but she changed her mind after she saw the lives of some very successful doctors. She wanted to major in Biology, and I told her many times that it's a great idea, both for her to satisfy her interest in the subject, and to feel fulfilled as being different from me. But, I also recommended an M.S. in Biology/M.B.A. program that NYU offers, but she told me that she would not be interested.

I really don't get it at this point! But I desperatly want to, and I want to help the most I can. That's why i'm asking for any advice anyone could give, or any ideas whatsoever.

Thanx in advance everyone..

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 12:07 AM

she should do whatever she wants, just give her time and let her decide. you can do whatever you want to. go for an m.b.a.!

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 12:59 AM

This sounds like it is HER problem, not yours.

GrkScorp · #4 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

This sounds like it is HER problem, not yours.

When it's HER problem, it's MY problem also.

vashti · #5 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 01:47 AM

Only if you LET it be your problem...

GrkScorp · #6 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 01:52 AM

How can you NOT let it be your problem? lol.. It's different being the guy in the relationship.. (generally)..

When you're the guy, you hear the problem, and you get emotionally blackmailed, until you give your full attention to it, and make it your top priority to solve it.. (this is not the case in this relationship)

When you're the girl in the relationship.. You usually have a guy who is quiet most of the time, and does not want to bother you with his problems, because he knows you have enough of your own.. so he keeps it to himself... until he gets over it...

As a result, you get frustrated at him... develop a problem, and you're back at step 1..

vashti · #7 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 02:04 AM

Maybe you should consider getting a girlfriend who is less competitive.

EDIT: You know, as I think about it, this might be an example of how men are often inclined to "fix" every problem. Maybe she is just venting about her frustration. She really ought to do this with her girlfriends who don't necessarily feel the need to "fix" it. I think you should ask her if she wants advice, or if she just wants to talk about it.

derm · #8 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

But, I want her to be happy, so it IS my problem aswell..

She doesn't want me to go for my M.B.A. during my J.D.

This is because she wants to stand out as, an M.B.A.

I've considered other options, such as an M.P.A., M.P.H., or even Ph.D in Economics...

I've very flexible, mostly because everything you're going to learn during your M.B.A. is either covered in your Master's in Economics degree, or your Law Degree.

But I know she will already stand out from me. I just want her to feel it aswell.

OK all a bit OTT but will be AOK with your GF in the USA

jurupa · #9 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 04:32 AM

I understand where your girl friend is coming from, but why do you have to stop going after a M.B.A just so that she can get one instead? You guys are not married so there is no need for you to make such a sacrifice like that. Tell your girl friend to get a degree in another subject if she wants to be different from you.

Also how long has she been complainning about this? And how long have both of you had the same degrees? I am asking becuase your girl friend may be trying to see if she can control you thru this or maybe become the more domiant one in the relationship, if she can make you not go for your M.B.A.

misombra · #10 (**permalink**) 02-10-06, 10:30 PM

you're gonna do a jd and mba at the same time? won't that take you like 10 years?

GrkScorp · #11 (**permalink**) 03-10-06, 01:03 AM

(1) more year than a regular. (4) years total.

vashti · #12 (**permalink**) 03-10-06, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

I know it's hard on her, and it's very tough for her now. And I only want to suggest, not push her into something that she will hate me for later on.

I'm still very interested to know your alternate perspective on the matter. What do you think is going on here?

Interesting that she considered medical school. I would have figured med school students would of had a more scientific-based education (biochem or something) as opposed to economics and accounting. It sounds like she is kind of all over the place, and it is up to HER to figure it all out.

I think you should be supportive of whatever she decides she wants to do, and more importantly, let this be HER problem.

#13 (**permalink**) 03-10-06, 03:45 AM

Happy Yom Kippur.

I decided not to go to school today because it's a Jewish holiday.

Gigabitch · #14 (**permalink**) 03-10-06, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

Happy Yom Kippur.

I decided not to go to school today because it's a Jewish holiday.

There is no school here today.

vashti · #15 (**permalink**) 03-10-06, 03:47 AM

Lots of LA schools already have the day off because so much of the faculty take the day off.

Anyway, thanks for the good wishes. I am hungry. It's a fast day.