at a low point in my life - Love Forum

chip · #1 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 10:37 AM

hi

this is my first post, not sure what i want to say so maybe i'll just type till ive nothing left.

i'm 21 years old and in my 3rd year at uni. i always thought that these years are supposed to be the best of my life but my experiences have been far from great. i have one friend, not had a gf in over 3 years and i am hating my course. i've got so much work to do and all i can think of is how i would like to turn the clock back to when i was 16 where i had no worries about life. its keeping me awake at night (2.20am right now). i've very little experience in the real world - never had a proper job, have never been abroad, just things you would expect to have done by 21. maybe it doesnt really matter but at the moment i don't see where my life is heading. sometimes i think about all the things i could do to turn my life around, like getting a part time job to meet new people or leaving it all behind to see the world but the prospect of it all frightens me. i've also gotten fat and i just don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

i'm not sure what i want to hear from you guys, maybe i don't really want to hear anything at all. i guess i just wanted somewhere to vent my feelings and this is the first forum i thought would be appropriate to do so.

thanks for listening

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 11:49 AM

This is a very stressful time in life - you are getting close to graduation, and ideally, complete independence. In addition to worrying about your grades, you also have to start worrying about how you will support yourself. I think that these are very good reasons to be stressed out.

How many classes are you taking? You need to make time to squeeze in some physical activity every single day, for at least a half hour, preferably outdoors in the sunshine. It will make you feel much better emotionally, and will make your burden seem easier to bear.

You should also look into participating in some school activities so you can connect with larger numbers of people if you don't feel you have the time to devote to a part time job.

BFTrick · #3 (**permalink**) 27-10-06, 02:31 AM

as vashti said a school activity can help. but i would suggest a job. Even a job on campus, dont do it for the money, get a job where you just enjoy hanging out with the people, and the money is sort of a perk. Thats how i look at my summer job.

I take karate at college. It is the best way to wake up in the morning, it gives me some physical activity, i have greater flexibility, and it is an easy class (just participation). And im sure you could meet tons of people there. If only i could major in Karate...

derm · #4 (**permalink**) 27-10-06, 02:44 AM

Chip ol bud you sound very low

I think you need a clear vision of where you are headed, you need motivation, you need to set yourself goals then go out and achieve them.

It all depends on your outlook. Do you for instance see the best of your life as yet to come or believe the best is behind you. Are you a glass half empty or half full person?

You seem like your bogged down with Uni and need some free time to unwind and enjoy yourself.

You won't consider these years 'the best years of your life' until you look back on them in the future, when you have more responsibilities etc. But really, lump it or like it they are, so go enjoy them, get out and socialise, make new friends

Good luck

Gigabitch · #5 (**permalink**) 27-10-06, 05:55 AM

Chip, I know how hard it can be to get yourself moving in the right direction- you sound like you're in a hole, and it's hard to get out. Hard to do anything. You sound lonely as can be.

So here's what I think: do one little thing that you're consciously aware of doing simply to make your life better. For instance- make yourself really good coffee every morning, not just mediocre coffee, or make a habit of something else you can do for yourself that's special. It'll make you feel better, which will make you more attractive to others.

The part-time job idea is great, but be selective. Make sure there are a lot of fun people working wherever it is, so work doesn't become another thing you hate. I'm glad you're following through with uni- it's important. Time enough to see the world after.

And anyone who says school was the best time in their life made stupid choices upon graduating.

chip · #6 (**permalink**) 28-10-06, 07:30 AM

thanks for the replies

i think im this way because of the way i feel about myself. i feel fairly uncomfortable around new people. im going to take on board the advice posted and do something about building my self esteem back up again. although im not sure how im going to go about it yet. during school i had a great group of friends and those years were my happiest - i want to be back that way.

i dont have a plan to turn my life around, so im going to take small steps, starting with catching up on all the work thats piled up and doing some sort of physical activity to lose weight. gigabitch - i will definitely do something that makes me feel good everyday, i just need to find out what that is! hopefully by that point i should have some sort of direction i want my life to head in.