Anger/Conflict Management

[Frasbee]

How do you deal with it, in yourself, as well with dealing with other's?

What's the worst you've handled an argument or situation?

What's the best you've handled an argument or situation?

The worst is slapping the person.

The best was verbally beating the shit out of them without swearing once. I won that argument so badly.

[Frasbee]

As great as slapping or punching somebody would feel, yeah, it would rarely solve your issue, and only create more, 10 fold.

I used to be horrible. My mother inadvertantly taught me as well as my siblings to emotionally abuse people. I used to be really good at it. Probably still am, but I don't exercise that skill anymore.

Arguing is one thing, fighting is another.

Sometimes I'm not sure whether it was because I was teenager, or because my mom sucked at being a mom. Maybe it was both.

But some of my shining examples of conflict resolution were dealing with my team mates.

The closest I came to resorting to my dirty tactics was when Sally came down on the whole team blaming us for issues she was having. She sounded so much like my mother I almost dealt with her as if she were such. I later took her aside and spoke my mind. I also took Megan aside too, Sally had really offended her and I figured she'd need someone to discuss it with. Things were relatively smooth between me and Sally afterwords.

[Kiechi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

How do you deal with it, in yourself, as well with dealing with other's?

What's the worst you've handled an argument or situation?

What's the best you've handled an argument or situation?

Either take it out on others or bottle it up. I prefer the latter.

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eurasian

Either take it out on others or bottle it up. I prefer the latter.

How about conflict resolution?

[vashti]

I don't really have a problem expressing anger or resolving conflict that I am aware of...

[Kiechi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

How about conflict resolution?

What do you mean by "resolution"?

EDIT: It's late. Blonde night tonight. I don't.

[Tiay]

I Forgive and forget;

For instance:

• I had plans to move in with a girl from college. We'll call her X.
• I start looking for housing a few weeks before college starts
• she's away travelling so I txt her telling her about the house.
• she doesn't like the house, says If I want to move there I can knock myself out.
• I do just that, since it's a great house right opposite college. I ask another friend (who is fabulous and I enjoy living with much more, I now realise, than I ever would've enjoyed living with the other girl) to move in instead. We'll call her S.
• I know that X has another friend who already has a backup living arrangement for X, so I'm not leaving her with no housing or anything.
• college starts. On the first day I pick a desk next to my housemates.
• X missed the first day of college. she arrives later and shoves all the stuff off of my desk while I'm not in the room (yes it had my name on it)
• I get myself a makeshift desk.
• S tells me that X visited her in the place where she works at the weekends and started bitching about me. apparently she's hugely pissed at me for 'annoying' her while she was travelling.
• I act like nothing happened. smile, converse, compliment new hair style, help with her college work, as if nothing happened.

some part of me is tempted to exact some kind of fitting revenge.. I could give her the wrong essay title to work on maybe.. or I could remove her desk. or maybe cover it in spray glue.
But I wont. that, to me, would be the 'bad way' of dealing with it. It wouldn't lead anywhere but to a silly, petty fight that would in the end help nobody. Maybe I should at least confront her, but again, I doubt anything good would come of it.

[vashti]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

Maybe I should at least confront her, but again, I doubt anything good would come of it.

Life is too short to bear a grudge. I like the spray glue idea, though. Of course, you could never admit you did it...

[Kiechi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

I Forgive and forget;

For instance:

• I had plans to move in with a girl from college. We'll call her X.
• I start looking for housing a few weeks before college starts
• she's away travelling so I txt her telling her about the house.
• she doesn't like the house, says If I want to move there I can knock myself out.
• I do just that, since it's a great house right opposite college. I ask another friend (who is fabulous and I enjoy living with much more, I now realise, than I ever would've enjoyed living with the other girl) to move in instead. We'll call her S.
• I know that X has another friend who already has a backup living arrangement for X, so I'm not leaving her with no housing or anything.
• college starts. On the first day I pick a desk next to my housemates.
• X missed the first day of college. she arrives later and shoves all the stuff off of my desk while I'm not in the room (yes it had my name on it)
• I get myself a makeshift desk.
• S tells me that X visited her in the place where she works at the weekends and started bitching about me. apparently she's hugely pissed at me for 'annoying' her while she was travelling.
• I act like nothing happened. smile, converse, compliment new hair style, help with her college work, as if nothing happened.

some part of me is tempted to exact some kind of fitting revenge.. I could give her the wrong essay title to work on maybe.. or I could remove her desk. or maybe cover it in spray glue.
But I wont. that, to me, would be the 'bad way' of dealing with it. It wouldn't lead anywhere but to a silly, petty fight that would in the end help nobody. Maybe I should at least confront her, but again, I doubt anything good would come of it.

But it will make you feel good inside.

[Tiay]

what, revenge would make me feel good? Maybe for a little while, but soon I know I would regret it. Being kind and forgiving is what makes me feel good in the long run.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiay

what, revenge would make me feel good? Maybe for a little while, but soon I know I would regret it. Being kind and forgiving is what makes me feel good in the long run.

What happened to "lolzz ima kinda insensitiv sumtimes rofl?"


YES MY QUESTION MARK WAS INSIDE THE ****ING QUOTATIONS MARKS LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!!!111111111

[Tiay]

I don't spell like that. And nothing happened to it. I always want to be kind and I don't aim to be insensitive. I think that mainly comes from the fact that till I was 18 I had no regular daily contact with people other than my family. And the thing about communications within a family is that they're often pretty blunt, at least in my family. So, for instance, upon meeting my bf's parents for the first time, "hi there! wow, your house is tiny!"
the memory of saying that will forever make me cringe, especially since their house wasn't even that small- just in comparison to what I'm used to. Way to sound like a spoilt naive brat! I just didn't know any better.

At this point though, i've done a course, first year of college and just started the second, so I'd hope I'm a lot more experienced simply in talking/interacting with people and communicating in English speech, which I didn't do a lot before- mainly I had only typed and read English, which is different somehow.

Ouch!

Don't worry, I have PLENTY of memories like that that make me cringe. Here, this should give you a giggle and make you not think about yours.

I was 7 years old, and I was at this Chamber of Commerce meeting (about 170 people in the room advertising for their business). Basically, everybody gets 60 seconds to stand up and talk about their business. I was 7, I raised my hand, and said "to Hell with it" to this guy's ice cream business. I'm turning red with embarrassment as I type this, everybody just gasped and there was this huge amount of chatting. I remember vaguely hearing, "He got that from his dad." Heh. I ended up apologizing in public. That's embarrassing.


Man, I was ruling the Universe at age 7. ****!

[vashti]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

What happened to "lolzz ima kinda insensitiv sumtimes rofl?"


YES MY QUESTION MARK WAS INSIDE THE ****ING QUOTATIONS MARKS LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!!!111111111

And once again, you've done it wrong.