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06-02-07, 11:44 PM
|  | Phillyboy | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
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| | | Are Men Romantic? Here is an article that describes men's style of romance.
Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. is the author of Lost & Found Lovers, a book about her research on people who go back to lost loves. She has been doing this work for 11 years, and has a web site, www,lostlovers.com, with a discussion board. Now she has completed a new survey of adults who have not tried a reunion with a lost love. Her findings suggest that men may be more "romantic" than women.
We too often define "romantic" in women's terms -- the flowers and cards, saving items and putting them in a scrapbook or listening to romantic songs all day long.
The men may not do these things, but they do something more romantic than all that:
Dr. Kalish's survey asked "how long did it take for you to get over your lost love?' The men tended to take longer to get over a lost love than the women. And some of the men were not satisfied with the survey choices.. The last choice listed was, "Over 10 years."Only the men crossed out all the choices and wrote, "I never got over her." While no doubt some women never got over their lost loves either, only the men wrote this comment in the margins.
Adolescent boys are not supposed to cry for a lost love. But many of Dr. Kalish's male participants cried hard, in private, nightly...for months.
This is not just a reunion phenomenon. Dr. Kalish is finding the same results in her First Love experience survey - for adults who have never tried a reunion with a lost love. There are significantly more men who chose to answer this survey than women, and they express strong feelings for their first loves, even though they have not contacted her (and may never do so).
Members of Dr. Kalish's web site, who are permitted to post messages, seem to be more represented by women than men. But Kalish warns that appearances are misleading. There are slightly more men who paid to join than women. The men don't post as often as the women
-- but they are reading!
Men are less likely to initiate leaving their marriages than women, and over the last few years, there is little difference between the number of men who have affairs versus the number of women. As more women entered the workplace, they found the same temptations there.
Dr. Kalish also offers private phone consultations. Men more often want to talk to her about their lost loves than women.
But it is a rare magazine that is pitched to men that will print a story about love and romance. The media think men are uninterested. Not so!
As Valentine's Day approaches, we should all remember that men express themselves differently -- and that does not mean worse than -- women. If women want men to open up, says Kalish, they have to take men on their own terms, not try to make them express their feelings like a woman would.
Men may not make scrapbooks of their love experiences, but they are every bit as loving, loyal, and yes, romantic, as women.
__________________ Heil Frasbee | | Loveforum Breaktime | | |  | Loveforum also recommend - Green tea - Help in weight loss and decrease rate of getting cancer.
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07-02-07, 01:34 AM
|  | Elder LF member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: IL
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Dr. Kalish's survey asked "how long did it take for you to get over your lost love?' The men tended to take longer to get over a lost love than the women. And some of the men were not satisfied with the survey choices.. The last choice listed was, "Over 10 years."Only the men crossed out all the choices and wrote, "I never got over her." While no doubt some women never got over their lost loves either, only the men wrote this comment in the margins.
YES! I have been saying that forever! All my guy friend are like "Tom, you are never gonna get over her" and the girls are like "Come on, get over her already".....dumb people just don't get it, I can't.
Nice find. If it is legit....some psychologists are wackos...but I can relate to it by experience.
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Last edited by The Great OV!!! : 07-02-07 at 01:42 AM.
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07-02-07, 01:53 AM
| | Phillyboy | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
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| | | From my experience, besides food, the quickest way to a guy's heart is through his ego.
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07-02-07, 03:06 AM
|  | european college chick | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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women like shallow stuff like flowers and shit whereas [all] men are truly romantic, this is proved by how long it takes them to move on"....
anybody see the above in it?
actually, I do agree with it in general; Men are generalised as having no feelings, just being after the physical, etc. In fact, I think most men definitely have feelings just as deep and romantic as women do.
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07-02-07, 05:50 AM
|  | Nugget of Love | | Join Date: Nov 2006
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| | | Pfft... Well I didn't bother to read all that. I just thought "Wow. What a generalized question."
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If you stare at a white pixel long enough, you notice the throbbing red, green, and blue elements that create it.
If you stare at a fuzzy blanket long enough with your eye so close it goes out of focus, just look at the sparkles; you can see it on the cellular level.
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07-02-07, 06:19 AM
| | european college chick | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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| | | in this aspect though, men deserve to be generalised in a favourable way for once.
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07-02-07, 06:22 AM
| | Nugget of Love | | Join Date: Nov 2006
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Originally Posted by Tiay  in this aspect though, men deserve to be generalised in a favourable way for once. Well fine, make a general judgement then.
I guess this makes me a truly unique guy though, since I have many romantic qualities.
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If you stare at a white pixel long enough, you notice the throbbing red, green, and blue elements that create it.
If you stare at a fuzzy blanket long enough with your eye so close it goes out of focus, just look at the sparkles; you can see it on the cellular level.
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07-02-07, 06:25 AM
| | Phillyboy | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
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Originally Posted by lilwing I guess this makes me a truly unique guy though ::cough::BULLSHIT::cough::
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07-02-07, 06:34 AM
| | Nugget of Love | | Join Date: Nov 2006
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Originally Posted by Frasbee ::cough::BULLSHIT::cough:: ...gee thanks. 
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If you stare at a white pixel long enough, you notice the throbbing red, green, and blue elements that create it.
If you stare at a fuzzy blanket long enough with your eye so close it goes out of focus, just look at the sparkles; you can see it on the cellular level.
Last edited by anachronistic : 07-02-07 at 06:48 AM.
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07-02-07, 08:31 AM
|  | Just smile and wave boys. | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Where you live
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| | I think every individual is romantic in different ways.
Some women will never get over the lost love. Some men will never get over their lost love.
Like two years ago I met a super awesome dude. Never a single flower, or cards, or anything like that. Just a simple invitation to drink beer and an occasional offer to drop me off at home. Oh man. It was quite a lost to see him leave. Or maybe it could have been a crush.
Oh, and I had a crush on this guy in the second grade for the longest time. Over 15 years.  And even when we were working for the same company we never saw each other. Talk about higher powers. I run into his sister, I run into his brother, but never him.
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08-02-07, 02:01 AM
|  | Make Love Happen | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: US
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| | Men are becoming more and more feminine.
Women the other way around.
Men are experiencing this much faster than women.
Result: everyone is talking about emotions, hurt, pain, trust, communication.
Mating is happening today on a bed of love guides, psychology books.
We lost our roots, and we are left in the winds of personal history, peer pressure and hollywood happy ends.
No wonder therapists get rich.  | |
08-02-07, 02:36 AM
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Originally Posted by michaelmorgan Men are becoming more and more feminine.
Women the other way around.
Men are experiencing this much faster than women.
Result: everyone is talking about emotions, hurt, pain, trust, communication.
Mating is happening today on a bed of love guides, psychology books.
We lost our roots, and we are left in the winds of personal history, peer pressure and hollywood happy ends.
No wonder therapists get rich. Not everyone. Anyways, wtf is feminine anyway? since when did females pettin...pattin...(however you spell that shit) talking about emotions? Thats like looking at a Lion roar and saying ...OMG..that mother ****er is becoming such a dinosaur...what a phony! big fat phony!.
To me when I think of "feminine" I think of the physique and body type. Like girls have feminine eyes and waist...I have not seen man have that yet...although some try...lol | |
08-02-07, 02:38 AM
| | Phillyboy | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
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Originally Posted by michaelmorgan Men are becoming more and more feminine.
Women the other way around.
Men are experiencing this much faster than women.
Result: everyone is talking about emotions, hurt, pain, trust, communication.
Mating is happening today on a bed of love guides, psychology books.
We lost our roots, and we are left in the winds of personal history, peer pressure and hollywood happy ends.
No wonder therapists get rich. Yeah...one day we'll all be wearin' dresses...
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08-02-07, 03:04 AM
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| | Sure we will. Some of us have started with ear rings, dying hair, removing hair, watching soap-opera porn
When you find in a man's bathroom 3 body lotions, 8 perfumes and whatever else....
Metrosexuality rules!
I painted an extreme picture, but...it's happening unfortunately. | |
08-02-07, 03:30 AM
|  | Lloyd is a dirty old man "Hot Love Pancake(s)" | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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Originally Posted by Tiay in this aspect though, men deserve to be generalised in a favourable way for once. Ture, if one considers the need for romance to be a *positive* quality.
Anyway, I have long felt men were at least as "romantic" as teenage girls, and I think the girls tend to outgrow simple definitions of romance that men continue to cling to (such as roses and candlelit dinners).
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