Your darkest hour

[dreamer101]

Hello people. I hope everyone is going well. I know i've been away for a while, a lot of things have happened, i've moved out of town and now starting a new life somewhere else. but still i've been visiting the site and reading posts regularly, just not fit enough to contribute.

that brings me to my question. if you feel like sharing. Do you remember a time in your life when your self esteem hit rock bottom? A time when nothing went your way..it all seemed grey, and no chance your hopes and dreams would come true?

What was it? What did you do to get out of it? How did you do it? Would you have done something different? Do you think it helped you in some way? What way?

You don't have to share, but I would appreciate it if you could.

Peace.

[anachronistic]

I've been living through my darkest hours for the past 4 months believe it or not.

However, I have yet to disclose details upon this to even the regulars here that I am closest to.

Hey if you need someone to talk to I still have AIM... or you can PM if you want.


edit:

i sorta just went through my darkest hours... they weren't that dark though.

[Gigabitch]

Hi Dreamer,

Yeah, I've been through that, and I have to add that moving is very disruptive to the psyche. if you're having a hard time right now, that may be a contributing factor- usually 4 to 6 months after moving somewhere, the newness wears off but it's not quite home yet. It can be really lonely.

Some things that might help: Get your sleep, eat regularly, even if you don't feel like it, and try to get some sun. Also, forming habits will add structure, and that can help more than you'd think. I used to go to the library at the same time every week, listen to certain radio shows, etc. and it helped with depression.

Are you keeping a journal? You should be. Sometimes you just need to let stuff out, and if you don't feel like doing it here, maybe doing it in a private journal would be of value.

Hope it gets better.

[Zach]

I have been through some pretty dark hours myself sir. I know how low it can go and how painful it can be. The human heart and body are ridiculously durable in moderation.. thats one thing I really came to understand after what happened to me.

Giga gives some great advice.

[TDurden]

Sophomore year of highschool was probably my darkest time. In the span of 3 months I broke up with my girlfriend, my only friend at that school tried to kill himself, and my grandma and cat died two days after Christmas. Then my my suicidal friend found other people to hang out with and I was pretty much alone.

I don't know that there's any special trick to getting through hard times except to to be strong of will and to not let yourself succumb to any sense of sadness or loneliness.

What Giga said about routines is also very useful. Having structure is the best way to keep your mind from drifting to depressing thoughts. Other than that, never underestimate the importance of friends, even casual ones. Having people around always helps to keep your spirits up.

[dreamer101]

Thanks. i appreciate all you guys. fras, I am certain you'll pull through mate, you're made of tough stuff. giga, thats some real wise words, they were very helpful. thank you. you are a gem, anyone ever tell you that?
Zach and Tdurden, thanks for sharing. much appreciated.

i'll keep you's posted. i am now settling into a routine of work - gym - cooking. i find i enjoy cooking once i get started. and i am forgetting the things i need to forget. i also want to keep a journal of all this. i like that idea.

[Seducer]

In my experience I've found hobbies to be very helpful at taking your mind off of depressive thoughts. Try to find something that you really like doing, you'll know that something is right for you when time seems to fly when ur doing it.

[Gigabitch]

I hope you'll check in more regularly, dreamer. I'll be thinking about you.

[clynn]

Yes I have had very dark hours, when I felt very sad.

first, I think feeling bad is part of the whole experience of life. So don't try to artificially feel good or to wish the bad away prematurely.

Only because we have lows, do we have highs.

That being said, make sure to eat and sleep properly. Get out once in a while but take care of yourself and protect your alone time - it will give you time to regenerate and recahrge and work on your own self, and your self esteem.

Helping others is also a good way to start to feel better.

[dreamer101]

Yea definitely Giga, I intend to.

I am doing much better now, as you said clynn, now that I am eating and sleeping properly. And yeah getting back into my hobbies too.
I went back home this weekend, luckily where i used to live is only a couple of hours drive. and caught up with a few friends. so that was good. something i realised though over the weekend. I wasn't even excited to see my friends, not that i normally am but i was very neutral and introverted. which made me realise that i lost something about me. Over the last couple of months. That zest for life which i had. Even they noticed it and asked me if I am regretting moving. I am not. I wanted to do this. I don't know how and why I lost it, but I am going to do whatever it takes to get it back.

Thank you for the positive words you all. You don't know it, but you guys got the ball rolling for me.

[clynn]

Those feelings you are having are normal - the neutral and introverted feelings. Don't think they'll hang around forever either, though.

You'll find joy again in your life! Promise!

[Zach]

After my gf left me I was very quiet and in pain almost all day and night for about a month. I would hang out with my friends and they definitely noticed how I was. They could tell i was very hurt and it was sad to see me they said. None the less they were my friends and always tried to cheer me up.

I know how you felt, I barely could talk for a month. Then my best friend started dating my ex secretly and I found out.

I cant describe how that felt. 5 months later Im still sick and currently shaking with bitterness and sadness.

Today just happens to be a very bad day for some reason.

But lately I have been doing ok, keeping busy and avoiding her and him at all cost to keep my sanity.

Routine does help I know that for a fact.

[dreamer101]

hello guys just checking in as promised. things are going ok. concentrating on work a lot lately, and making plans for the future. but the future is hazy. i've got a routine for most days and most days i stick to it, but its not very productive atm so i am working on variations. the people are also very weird in the town i am in, very threatned by foreigners.
but i still miss her a lot most days. and subsequently don't feel like doing much. but i m sure it'll pass.

hope you guys are ok! peace.

[Gigabitch]

All part of the healing process. Someday, you won't think about her as anything but a memory.

Human beings are so amazingly resilient in some ways.

[Gigabitch]

Bump.

I'm stressed but not depressed.

How's everybody else?