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20-04-08, 11:48 AM
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| | | God I feel like such shit
I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night. And then I just thought about some girl I used to like at work who was 1 year younger than me, and when my sister asked if I thought she was cute and I said yeah, my sister laughed and told me she was dating another guy who worked nearby and was in his late 20s
I don't even know what to say because I feel so bad. I feel so bad all I can think of is rattling off endless clips into these guys' chests and breaking their skull with a nice wooden AK stock and beating their corpse into a bloody pile of shit. I'm convinced people don't even think of me as a person because they consider other peoples as to having requirements that I don't
And today I saw a nice easily identifiable car that I remember first semester started honking at me and all the people inside shouted obscenities on like a Friday or Saturday night probably going to a party while I was crossing an intersection coming back from the library, and thought "Shit, if I ever see that car and the person in it I'm going apeshit". Well I saw it today and wanted to beat the driver and everyone in the cars head in with a metal bat and make them the recipient of my anger because they definitely warranted it. Of course in daylight in front of anyone and showing an attitude like that is not smart. You gotta strike when the time is right
God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!
Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way?
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Last edited by DoesntMatter : 20-04-08 at 11:54 AM.
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20-04-08, 11:58 AM
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| | | Jeeze, DM. That hooker idea is starting to look better and better. You've got to let some steam off in a healthy way.
__________________ I think all women really want is to be proven wrong about men. | | 
20-04-08, 12:00 PM
|  | Lloyd is a dirty old man "Hot Love Pancake(s)" | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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| | | Maybe you should take up boxing to relieve some of that stress?
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20-04-08, 12:55 PM
|  | Single Leo with potential | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Oakville, Ontario ( CANADA )
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| | | Don't focus on how other people act, as long as you feel good about yourself that is all that matters.
I don't care how those people act, because i know that i'll be respected by more people, that i wont have to act all macho or fake.
P.S. Surround yourself positively and all should be well.
GOOD LUCK !
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Matt ( 24 ) - Leo ( http://kromat.wordpress.com ) = BLOG
" Nothing is a waste of time, if you use the experience wisely. " => Auguste Rodin
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20-04-08, 12:59 PM
|  | Lloyd is a dirty old man "Hot Love Pancake(s)" | | Join Date: Dec 2005
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| | | Hey, DM... what are you doing about your dating life? Have you been actively pursuing anyone besides that girl in your math class? You need to diversify your options.
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20-04-08, 06:04 PM
|  | Nugget of Love | | Join Date: Nov 2006
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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter I feel like such shit
I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night. And then I just thought about some girl I used to like at work who was 1 year younger than me, and when my sister asked if I thought she was cute and I said yeah, my sister laughed and told me she was dating another guy who worked nearby and was in his late 20s
I don't even know what to say because I feel so bad. I feel so bad all I can think of is rattling off endless clips into these guys' chests and breaking their skull with a nice wooden AK stock and beating their corpse into a bloody pile of shit. I'm convinced people don't even think of me as a person because they consider other peoples as to having requirements that I don't
And today I saw a nice easily identifiable car that I remember first semester started honking at me and all the people inside shouted obscenities on like a Friday or Saturday night probably going to a party while I was crossing an intersection coming back from the library, and thought "Shit, if I ever see that car and the person in it I'm going apeshit". Well I saw it today and wanted to beat the driver and everyone in the cars head in with a metal bat and make them the recipient of my anger because they definitely warranted it. Of course in daylight in front of anyone and showing an attitude like that is not smart. You gotta strike when the time is right
God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!
Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way? God, haha, why, how Christian your thoughts are.
Only kidding, don't take that to heart. Be happy for your friends; don't envy them. A friend of mine came back from a party this evening with a girl, and I will admit, I am a little jealous, but it doesn't really bother me. In fact, I am happy for him, because I think that guy is still a virgin, and he is such a nice guy that he deserves this girl that seems like she's nice. You don't need to sit down and beat yourself over it, or compare yourself, or be jealous. Better yet, you SHOULD be observing yourself, as well as your friends, figure out what makes the women like them, figuring what you're doing wrong and leave it at that.
Do you think a woman would want to date a guy with your attitude? What if you did get a girlfriend, and she read this post? What would she think? She would probably be very disturbed, and intimidated by you. Would probably ruin it right then and there. What's with all the violence? My brain never functions on that wavelength. It seems like you've had the last straw, and your saying **** it. I'll admit it, I was actually quite disturbed by the post. Scary that people think about such things. I think you just need to cool down. People screaming stuff at you in their car? Just smile, wave, and continue with your day. It's only something if it bothers you. Make it nothing. Laugh it off. The joke's on them.
You don't need to assert yourself. You need to focus on you. Your life is about you. Don't be so quick to judge. Put yourself in other peoples' shoes. Keep your head on your shoulders, boy.
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20-04-08, 08:52 PM
|  | Something Something "Hot Love Pancake(s)" | | Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Aussie Aussie Aussie
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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter I feel like such shit
I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night.
God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!
Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way? Sounds like you are going through some pretty heavy self esteem issues DM. If you were looking at these (above) from a healthy self esteem point of view, these things are all minor trivialities.
Your main issue (at least the way I see it) seems to be from lack of a good positive self image. This is why you get so easily irritated by these couples and all of these people hooking up everywhere (Because you are not). This is why you feel very sensitive towards being belittled. This is why you are thinking back to this work girl (as another lost opportunity, testament to perceived low self worth).
These low esteem perceptions are extremely difficult to go through and the pain they generate is excruciating. But the good news is that the answer to this pain lies within yourself and you don't need anyone else to find this answer for you. All you need to do is believe in yourself and in your own worthiness. And as you look back into the past and find and get saturated by examples of you being worthy of kindness from others, of you being worthy of love from others, of you being a worthy individual with a lot of potential and hope for the future you will begin to re-build your self esteem and re-build your own perceived value. You will look at your shortcomings as opportunities for growth. You will modify them and become bigger and stronger you. You will gain confidence from proving yourself. You will grow stronger by building yourself up physically by picking up sport and going to Gym. You will find new friends who are trustworthy and reliable, because you will build outstanding people's and social skills and everyone won't be able to get enough of you. They will come to you with questions and for support. You will look deep down inside and become the you you have always dreamt to be. You will modify your behavior to be the change you would like to see in the world, the change that you would like to encourage in others. Envy and belittlement of others will no longer be issues, they will no longer penetrate your confidence and self esteem protected by so many layers, they will bounce off you like rain drops. And as you lead by this positive example you will see yourself as an individual with real positive power and means of bringing about positive change. Your self esteem and confidence will be the mirror of positive outcomes of your actions.
All you need to do is believe in yourself and believe in the positive change in the future that awaits you. Believe in it because it's the truth.
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My Demon revokes any prayer
He's grown contempt for love and hope
He betrays trust, twists truth and fair
Indifference is his way to cope
Engulfing sound of sensations
He quells with voices of despair
And muse of short lived inspirations
Flees at the sight of his cold stare
~Moy Demon - Mihayeel Lermontov~
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21-04-08, 12:31 AM
| | **** you | | Join Date: May 2005 Location: Estonia
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| | | I feel you DM. Today I walked through a city and belive me, almost EVERY person I walked past was holding somones hand... creepy. I have never seen such an amount of couples in one day, better yet, ina few hours... Luckily I wasn't mad. Even though I think my crush has a party-boy type bf.
But I have my points of madness. And that is when people talk apeshit. It disgusts me that most of the girls there are, are the ones who giggle at everything, or talk only about their current fascination over something. And these girls aren't the youngest ones also. And then there are boys who use that shit. Why are people so ****in stupid?
DM, get yourself a good knife, I suggest the types with sharp curved tip (like a hook). The next time that car stops and honks at you, tell them wait and tell exactly what you think. When the guy in it comes out to kick your ass, quickly slit his throat as he is looking at your face, ready to punch. Then one leg-kick in the stomach and knees. Head against the asphalt. That should do the trick.
Speaking of violence. There are actually a lot of people with supressed violence. And some of these are pretty serious, only thing that holds them back is the common sence that they would not feel goiod afterwards, but they are very capable of doing something.
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Last edited by boobaa : 21-04-08 at 12:45 AM.
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21-04-08, 08:00 AM
|  | Single Leo with potential | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Oakville, Ontario ( CANADA )
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| | | Anyone is capable of creating violent acts, it's our conscious that holds us back,
because you won't be respected or feel good about it afterwards.
P.S. With any type of anger, people get an adrenaline that they didn't
even they had, I say that guy better watch himself next time.
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" Nothing is a waste of time, if you use the experience wisely. " => Auguste Rodin
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21-04-08, 01:15 PM
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| | | Listen to music. | | 
22-04-08, 06:20 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: The US, I guess...
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| | | I'm just so aware of my dick, every time I sit down I feel my balls resting on the chair. And wanking isn't getting rid of my feelings, I seriously jack off like 3 - 4 times a day now
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22-04-08, 06:33 AM
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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter I'm just so aware of my dick, every time I sit down I feel my balls resting on the chair. And wanking isn't getting rid of my feelings, I seriously jack off like 3 - 4 times a day now Dude.., i've seen your picture in the gallery.., you're not a bad looking guy.., what's the story then? Why are you choosing to live this way exactly?
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22-04-08, 07:13 AM
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Originally Posted by GrkScorp Dude.., i've seen your picture in the gallery.., you're not a bad looking guy.., what's the story then? Why are you choosing to live this way exactly? I am guessing partly self esteem and partly growing up process. Being a teenager isn't easy we were all there at some stage. I know a few people who can relate.
__________________
My Demon revokes any prayer
He's grown contempt for love and hope
He betrays trust, twists truth and fair
Indifference is his way to cope
Engulfing sound of sensations
He quells with voices of despair
And muse of short lived inspirations
Flees at the sight of his cold stare
~Moy Demon - Mihayeel Lermontov~
| | 
22-04-08, 07:14 AM
|  | atada a mis pies. | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: 45 degrees away.
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| | | smoke a leño.
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a wise man isn't always saved by his wisdom. just like a stupid man does not always do stupid things.
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22-04-08, 09:43 AM
|  | Phillyboy | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
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| | | Dude.
Hooker.
You might as well.
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