How can I make my family a family?

[Kromat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

You sound like a good kid. Your mom probably is jealous that you have the
opportunity for a better life than she had. Just don't go getting yourself all
wrapped up in boys because they will divert your attention from the things
that should be most important right now: your education
(which is your ticket to a better future).

I feel the same way about myself too, If I was to get into a relationship with a
girl now, I know I would definitely stay off track and start focusing my time onto
her and try to balance both, which I'm not ready for atm.

P.S. Thanks Vashti, I'm glad to hear that.

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kromat

Your dad left you when you were young, so that can be emotional
can scar a kid when they get older

No.

Kids are better off when the parents divorce early, because they grow up with having separated parents being the norm.

[squirrley]

Loz, youre family is in turmoil like most families, we all have our issues. Unfortunately youre mom may not have ever gotten past the hurt from your dad. DONT let her feelings of insecurity bring you down. Youre 16 now, and thats a super tough age. I remember my son when he was 16, he was thrown into a relationship where he now had a step dad(his dad was NEVER around, never ever). That was a hard situation which got worse and now things are better 3 years later.

Your siblings are just that, your brothers are just being royal pain in the asses which is normal, sad but normal. Theyre older and feel they can push you around. I have 2 younger brothers were all in our 30's now, but laugh at the dumb stuff we did to eachother. You dont see it when youre in it, but down the road things will look up. Has your mom tried dating anyone? You have to know also, it's not your job to make them happy. You can try, and all the counseling YOU do is NOT going to make THEM happy. They have to do it for themselves. Your brothers just a turd now. But your mom sounds like she's just sad, and she's dealing with some BS that maybe she should let go herself. I cant imagine how hard that must be for her to have your dad flashing the girlfriends around all the time.

I have no doubt most people in their teens want a nice loving family, and its sad because in todays society, its not the norm, were not in the 60's with mom wearing the kitchen apron and everyone's clean as a whistle. How many families exist which are of a normalacy? Theyre all steps brothers and step moms, etc. Thats the norm. But just remember Loz, youre perfectly normal. You want balance and security. Maybe sometime you can offer to take your mom to lunch and talk. Mothers Day is coming up too. Maybe talk to your bro and sis and do something nice as a family?

[Lozenger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirrley

Has your mom tried dating anyone?

Thanks Yes my mum has tried dating people. She had a boyfriend but he wasn't good enough for her and now she is dating someone and they have been together for 6 years. Sometimes I feel that she is not entirely happy with him but stays with him because she doesn't want to be alone.

X

[PussyCatDoll]

Loz, Mothers Day is coming up too.


its gone - was in march down here


Maybe talk to your bro and sis and do something nice as a family?


i agree

[vashti]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lozenger

Sometimes I feel that she is not entirely happy with him but stays with him because she doesn't want to be alone.

You see? She's a mess. How can someone act normally when they have this sort of mindset?

Do yoursef a favor hun, and before you go off dying for a boyfriend, learn how to be comfortable and content being alone. My mom went through men like tissues because she felt her sole worth was tied up in being desireable to someone else. She passed this trait down to my youngest sister who repeatedly ends up with the most idiotic relationships because for her too, it is better to be with *anyone* than to be alone.

As far as your relationship with your family, just don't take it personally. Be nice and willing to engage with them in healthy ways, but start counting the days to when you go to college. Lower your expectations for family gatherings. (would you expect a blind person to appreciate the sunset?) If you don't expect much, you won't be continually disappointed.