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Thread: Attractive/hot girl and male friends

  1. Lineofsight is offline Registered User
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    Attractive/hot girl and male friends

    Hi, I really need to know if it's possible for a pretty girl to have an actual male friend and stay just buddies.

    The difference between a friend and a love relationship is the feeling and behaviour towards the person. You choose to behave a certain way to show/give your love to the other.

    If in this case the guy has feelings for this girl, but she wants him only as a friend. Then this guy is free to spend time and talk with her (get closer). Although this girl has no clue he is really only after her love or worse her pussy. Then that's somewhat pathetic but harmless and very common, I guess... The guy gets hurt in the end or succeeds, whatever.

    Now if it's become obvious the guy goes out of his way to give the girl attention and prefers to be alone with her, then is she supposed to stop being friends? Or is it OK to stay in contact because he is nice and she likes talking to him?

    Friendship is proof of some level of attraction towards eachother, it could always grow if you spend enough time together. So is it wrong to give it a chance to grow and let that guy enjoy her attention on his desiring/sexual level?
    Last edited by Lineofsight; 29-06-09 at 02:54 AM.

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    It depends on how much he pushes it.

    I have a few guy friends. The ones that could not be happy with just friendship fell by the wayside. The ones who may have wanted one thing at some point are *seemingly* content now with just friends. No moves made ever. At any point in time. It's natural for guys to want the poontang, but if all she wants is to chill, and he is down, then yes I can see just friends being totally possible.

    And on the contrary, guys who wanted more, that I was not willing to give fell by the wayside. There is no such things as friends with benefits. Girls value the friendship more, and guys value the benefits more. It's a steady ****buddy that's all.

    Sure, it's always always possible for it to turn into more. But that is a case by case scenario.
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    When the guy and girl look each at each other like brother and sister, then it's okay.

    But they have to be allowed to get to that point, and that takes time. In the meantime, they're both presumably dating others, and others who could possibly have a problem with it.

    Especially, if boy and girl can't totally look at each other as brother and sister.

    (and it happens, trust me)

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    It's possible, but not for everyone. A male friend who likes you and finds you attractive will likely become interested in more if it seems like a possibility.

    Two things may help prevent that:

    1. You have to be very clear early on that you are only interested in friendship. Don't spare his feelings by being vague, it will only make it worst later.

    2. It helps if the guy is in a relationship, or interested in lots of other people to get his mind off you

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    Are you talking about me? LMAO. Ok, I'm kidding.

    If a girl told the guy she only wants to be friends then that is what she wants and you have to respect that. You can be her friend for now and just enjoy her company. Be prepared for her to date other guys though. Maybe one day when she is ready to "settle down", she will see you as potential long term material.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lastwish View Post
    Are you talking about me? LMAO. Ok, I'm kidding.

    If a girl told the guy she only wants to be friends then that is what she wants and you have to respect that. You can be her friend for now and just enjoy her company. Be prepared for her to date other guys though. Maybe one day when she is ready to "settle down", she will see you as potential long term material.
    Lol I'm talking about my gf having male friends...

    I am not the pathetic guy befriending pretty girls just to get closer to them...

    I hate making other guys jeaulous or making girls sad and giving false hope. That's why I would never befriend a girl, there is ALWAYS the lingering potential for sliding into the love spectrum of chemistry... Even if she/he is ugly as shit.

    I agree with the sister/brother platonic friendship but I would never want a gf with such a *friend*

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    Having this issue now.

    I think it's possible, it does help a lot if both people are in relationships, the brother/sister thing takes a very very long time and there has to be something the takes away that sexual tension for it to be like that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lineofsight View Post
    Lol I'm talking about my gf having male friends...

    I am not the pathetic guy befriending pretty girls just to get closer to them...

    I hate making other guys jeaulous or making girls sad and giving false hope. That's why I would never befriend a girl, there is ALWAYS the lingering potential for sliding into the love spectrum of chemistry... Even if she/he is ugly as shit.

    I agree with the sister/brother platonic friendship but I would never want a gf with such a *friend*
    Yes. It is possible to develop something more with a friend. But the fact that she choose you over the other guys means you have qualities that that guy doesn't and that gives you an advantage.

    She should be allowed to socialize with whoever she wants. But I think when couples break up, the main problem comes from the couples themselves, not something external like guyfriends. She must feel the relationship is lacking in something important to her to be going for another guy.

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    Yeah it's possible.
    But I have a male friend that I have never been sexually attracted to.

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    I think it's a bit sadistic to have a friend who has the hots for you, but you not for him. That type of friendship will not work out for obvious reasons and will only be a source of endless misery for the guy. Best is to let the friendship go.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lineofsight View Post
    Hi, I really need to know if it's possible for a pretty girl to have an actual male friend and stay just buddies.
    Sure, I have a few pretty good female friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lineofsight View Post
    The difference between a friend and a love relationship is the feeling and behaviour towards the person. You choose to behave a certain way to show/give your love to the other.
    Yeah that's about right. Plus men love to stick their pecker in all kinds of holes, but that's not love.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lineofsight View Post
    If in this case the guy has feelings for this girl, but she wants him only as a friend. Then this guy is free to spend time and talk with her (get closer). Although this girl has no clue he is really only after her love or worse her pussy. Then that's somewhat pathetic but harmless and very common, I guess... The guy gets hurt in the end or succeeds, whatever.
    That's the guys problem isn't it? Not the womans fault he doesn't read her right. It's also the girls problem if she lets him use her. She should know better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lineofsight View Post
    Now if it's become obvious the guy goes out of his way to give the girl attention and prefers to be alone with her, then is she supposed to stop being friends? Or is it OK to stay in contact because he is nice and she likes talking to him?
    Depends. If the guy is in a relation with someone, yeah, the best way would be to end the friendship. If the gall is interested in the guy and the guy is single, hey, that's a different story.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lineofsight View Post
    Friendship is proof of some level of attraction towards eachother, it could always grow if you spend enough time together. So is it wrong to give it a chance to grow and let that guy enjoy her attention on his desiring/sexual level?
    Only if he's single cutiepie.

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    friendship in people with different genders is absolutely very hard.
    So far, I still haven't had any extremely closed male friends, perhaps because of my cautiousness. Whenever we are closed enough, I will wisely control the status. Sometimes you know, eventhough both of you treat each other as brothers or sisters earlier, the feeling may change quickly and uncousciously. Human's wisdom works when you can control yourself.

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    Honestly, it sucks but your gf or any girl you date is gonna have male friends and you just gotta adjust and get used to it. If you have an attractive gf then yes it's possible that her male friends will be physically attracted to her. The key is that she's only WITH one person and that person is you.
    Be careful with your heart, because when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are.

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