in general.. this is what i've found:
1. you have to come to love yourself, konw yourself, and build upon yourself and your life to where you are happy - don't need a partner, but see it as adding onto your already great life (rather then needing it to feel like you have one). This is A#1 important.
2. you have to come to learn some thigns about being a team with another human being who has different needs, ticks differently than you, and may have different and conflicting goals and ambtions than you. (no 2 people are the same.. so learning to manage and accept differences in the context of a "team" is extremely important!)
3. you have to learn how to let go and not dwell on things. let go of the argument and fight yo had so it's not life/death, but something you can work on and negotiate together. let go of the concept that everything "must be fixed" or resolved or has to be dealt with (sometimes.. a "u know what.. youre too important to me.. i don't want us fighting.. so i am not going to be mad at you aymore over it and just want to snuggle..." and than not let it, or future interations of it, become a "thing" to fight about). discuss yes. but fight? no.
the key is.. you really have to work on YOURSELF first before you criticize anybody else.
You have to become the ideal mate for soembody else first before you can expect the ideal mate for you.
Work on that first before you worry about what somebody else offers you and can do for you. Ask yourself, "what is it that i offer and can do for others?"
Once you do that.. the quality partners some out of everywhere to want to be with you and you have your choice. And then you can decide who you're most compatible with and enjoy the most and whom you feel like your life is most enhanced by by being with. It actually isn't that difficult when you get to this point b/c "the one" stands out pretty clearly....
As for the qualities in others that tend to make them "the one" - somebody who sees you as a unit and both of your needs must be taken care of (not just yours, not just theirs) and who is of the mindsight they can always improve themselves for the sake of the relationship and THEN GOES AND IMPROVES things b/c they want to for the relationship. Which you should also want to do for that person (if you don't feel like doing this for them at every corner, then they aren't the one for you....)