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Thread: She broke it off, but still contacts me! Why?

  1. #1
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    She broke it off, but still contacts me! Why?

    Your advice would really help:
    My ex, who i dated for two years and just broke up with 3 months ago has started to contact me again. She was the one who wanted to seperate and I obviously didnt. We spoke about a month after the break up and I laid it out for her that I love her and want nothing else. She said she still really cares about me but she just needed time to heal and everything(we broke up because we were in a rut of continuous arguing over small things). So we left it that maybe something will come up in the future but she wouldnt want to try again any time soon.
    So now, over the past 2 months following that discussion she still texts, calls, etc. about once or twice a week. I make no effort to reach out to her; she initiates everything. Mostly she just says " oh this made me think of you" or asks about work/grad school, etc- basically just some updates with how im doing. What should i make of this? Is she trying to become friends(we both said we couldnt do it because of how we feel about each other)? Or, is she realizing she made a mistake and wants to keep me in the picture?

    More importantly, how should I play this? As of now, I've just been replying and keeping it light. If she is trying to be friends I cant do that-for my own mental health. But, if you think she is trying to reconcile, then how should i act?

    Thanks for your help.

  2. #2
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    Ask her if she wants to get back together. If she says no, then you can tell her that you don't want to be friends, sorry, goodbye.

    Seems pretty easy, no?

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    hi,
    I've been with a girl for over two years and she broke up our relationship several times during this time.
    This was very tough, ups and downs all the time. we broke up again quite recently but this time she has said she wants to end the relationship but keep me as a friend. Like you, I don;t agree. in my book, friendship can lead to love, but not the other way round when you love someone and were in a relationship.
    I don't know why she even said this when she says she loves me.
    I can't work out how women think like this, for me its all or nothing.
    so like the previous comment, you have to decide if you still want her in your life, even as a friend, or not.
    In my case I told my lady its a relationship or nothing, and this is where we stand now, kind of a stand-off.
    I;m waiting to see what comes of this.
    I always hoped love will prevail, but in my personal experience, women don't put the same emphasis on love as us guys.
    Also, and finally, there could be two other possible explanations what is happening with her.
    one, she calls you etc because she may feel some guilt that your feeling bad, secondly she may just be confused about the whole thing and have doubts.
    Of course, there is always the possibilty of someone else being in the picture too.....
    Anyway, how to play it.......I would do as the previous person said, tell her you couldn't possibly be a friendas you love her too much, if she loves you as much as you love her, then there is every chance she will come back to you.....
    if she does not.......then its the end.
    I know how you feel.....because I'm going through it now.....good luck and I hope it works out for you guys,

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    OP, don't ask her if she wants to get back together. That's horrible advice. Your ex is contacting you because she is trying to keep you in the picture in case plans fall through with her current interests. Keep doing what you're doing now and don't give in

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    You gotta make your standpoint clear. I believe that if true love is cultivated, something good will come out of it eventually. Don't give up on love that you worked so hard for.
    Last edited by thien; 01-10-10 at 06:09 AM.

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