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Thread: I told my female friend i have feelings for her

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    I told my female friend i have feelings for her

    Im a male in my mid twenties, ive known this girl for a few years. She has a boyfriend. About a year ago i began to develop strong feelings for her. I never told her in the past about my feelings. But recently it has been getting too much so i just had to tell her. I didnt know what to expect. I told her everything. She reacted well. I said i was finding it hard to be a friend to her because of the way i feel and that i didnt know if i should carry on contacting her. She said she would find it hard not contacting me because she talks to me about things that she doesnt tell other guys. She also told me that if she was single that she would date me. I thought telling her would make me feel alot better but it hasnt really. I just dont know what to do. She seems to really value me and i dont really want to lose her but it hurts sooo much to talk to her. Help please.

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    Sigh. This is why we say don't tell. You shouldn't have told her.

    Break off contact if not forever for a long, long time.

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    @ losttsol

    hi buddy, can understand your feelings..its bit sad. But the fact is, this is common, yea many of us experienced it somewhere sometime in our life.

    you can't force anybody to commit a relation with you, neither every relation we encounter clicks !!

    firstly you have to understand that she really has some real feelings on you or not,..? or something more than that. if you think she loves you, but rejected you just because shes dating someone else, then its a separate issue..In my opinion, then you should wait for her..as much as you can.. coz things changes !!!!

    but my friend, there can also be an opposite side to this... some ppl loves collecting coins, collecting stamps.. keep urself aside from them, dnt get blind on someone, use your brain, nt ur heart.... coz d games we play starts at heart..ends in brains..

    hope she'll come to you someday...

    But always remember what Eagles said decades before " Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bezz
    She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
    How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
    Some dance to remember, some dance to forget "


    The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.
    Anonymous

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    Quote Originally Posted by girl68 View Post
    Sigh. This is why we say don't tell. You shouldn't have told her.

    Break off contact if not forever for a long, long time.
    I would really appreciate your views on it. Its taken from the Net.

    IT'S 7TH GRADE..

    I stared at the girl next to me... She was my so called "best friend"... I stared at her... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed them to her... She said "thanks"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...

    IT'S JUNIOR YEAR..

    My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2 hours... I Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go to sleep... She looked at me.. Said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...

    IT'S SENIOR YEAR..

    The day before prom... She walked to my locker... "My date is sick" she said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th grade... We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates... We'd go together just as "best friends"... And so we did...

    IT'S PROM NIGHT..

    After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said "I had the best time... Thanks!"... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...

    IT'S GRADUATION DAY..

    A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body... Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said "you're my best friend"... "Thanks!"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...

    IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER..

    Now I sit in the pews of the church... A church that she is getting married in now... I watched her say "I do" an drive off to her new life... Married to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like that... And I knew it... But before she drove away... She came to me and said "You came!... Thanks!"... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wantd her to know that I didn't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...

    YEARS PASSED..

    I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend"... At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years... This is what it said... "I stare at him... Wishing he was mine... But he doesn't notice me like that... And I know it... I wanted to tell him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love him but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why... I wish he would tell me he loved me"... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I cried...
    rest in peace my Love
    The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.
    Anonymous

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    Quote Originally Posted by losttsol View Post
    Im a male in my mid twenties, ive known this girl for a few years. She has a boyfriend. About a year ago i began to develop strong feelings for her. I never told her in the past about my feelings. But recently it has been getting too much so i just had to tell her. I didnt know what to expect. I told her everything. She reacted well. I said i was finding it hard to be a friend to her because of the way i feel and that i didnt know if i should carry on contacting her. She said she would find it hard not contacting me because she talks to me about things that she doesnt tell other guys. She also told me that if she was single that she would date me. I thought telling her would make me feel alot better but it hasnt really. I just dont know what to do. She seems to really value me and i dont really want to lose her but it hurts sooo much to talk to her. Help please.
    You just ruined your friendship.
    If she talks to you about things she can't tell other guys it means she views you as a female in man form.

    Man up and stop being weak.
    Sure, you've got feelings but a man knows how to control them (unlike women)

    If it hurts to much ask for your balls back because you've given them away in the name of loving a girl
    that is taken: big mistake.

    You aren't going to win her over.
    She's not going to dump her man for you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SelflessnHumble View Post
    You just ruined your friendship.
    If she talks to you about things she can't tell other guys it means she views you as a female in man form.

    Man up and stop being weak.
    Sure, you've got feelings but a man knows how to control them (unlike women)

    If it hurts to much ask for your balls back because you've given them away in the name of loving a girl
    that is taken: big mistake.

    You aren't going to win her over.
    She's not going to dump her man for you.
    The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.
    Anonymous

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    If she really wanted to be with you then nothing would get in her way. All you are is a friend that gives her the attention she craves and if she broke up with her current bf she would probably find excuses to not date you, i.e. Im not ready for a relationship.. She can string you along as long as you hand her the leash, even if shes not aware of what shes doing. Its probably best to limit your contact with her, you told her how you felt, it would just be torture to continue to hang out with her.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    I found out today from a friend of the girl i like that she had been speaking to her about what i had said to her the other day. The girl i like said that she feels sorry for me and that im everything a girl could ever want. But she also said that if i was better looking then she would consider me.

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    "If I was single I would date you" Sorry, but that sounds like she just does not want to hurt your feeligns. If she wanted to be with you she would dump her current BF. In fact, if I were you I wouldl ask her to go on a date. If she really woudl consider dating you that coudl be your chance to shwo that your the one she should be with. Ypou already admitted you have feellings, which si nto goign to make it easy for you to talk to her anymore. You've got to go all in at this point.

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    Paul_11

    I can relate to most of the piece you posted from the internet. It seems to be asking can you live with not taking action and regretting for the rest of your life, or taking action and regretting that you did take action. I would go for the second one. Its better to act and get an answer so that your mind doesnt keep holding on to the slightest bit of hope.

    Lando

    I dont think she would accept to going on a date with me while shes with her boyfriend. I told her that i would give about a week to tell her if i still wanted to be friends with her, depending on how i felt. The week is over and i still feel the same so im going to see her and tell her that i cant be her friend as long as i have feelings for her. I will tell her not to be afraid of hurting my feelings and just to tell me.

    The thing that i dont get is that i personally would say we are not that close as friends. But for some reason she seems to want to talk to me alot and seems to regard me as a really good friend. Even though we are not that close. When i told her the first time that i cant be her friend she said she wouldnt be able to cope not talking to me. Maybe the whole not being friends anymore will make her think about whats more important to her.

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    Sorry to say it but you ****ed it up a long time ago - most likely at the beginning when you were first started hanging out and getting to know each other. It's cliche but it's true. Women will put you in specifics bins based on how you interact with them. If you don't build that sexual attraction and tension right off the bat (even if you become friends) you're screwed forever.

    I went through 4 years of hell trying to get a friend to fall in love with me. She handled it extremely poorly and walked all over me and I misunderstood her attention as affection. She was just selfish and didn't think she was hurting me. It took me forever to get through that but now I know to never make the same mistake again.

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    robFord

    When i first met her i wasnt sexually attracted to her but over the years i began to fall for her because of her personality. Then only recently have i actually become sexually attracted to her.

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