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Thread: Boyfriend doesn't love me. Should I stay?

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    Boyfriend doesn't love me. Should I stay?

    We've been together for a year. When we had almost 6 months, I told him I loved him, he said he doesn't. Since then, I told him 3-4 times again, and he always says the same thing..that he doesn't love me because we had so many fights and he doesn't fall in love that easily.And that he doesn't know if he'll ever love me.
    The thing is that the reason we fight is because he's cold to me, he doesn't want to see me that often, he never says I miss you (and we're long distance) and never does nice things for me. Because of that, I get upset and we fight and he "loves" me less and it's like a vicious cycle.
    Can you fall in love with someone after a year has passed or if it's not here right now, it'll never be? I'm sad all the time because I know he doesn't feel the same way and I don't know what to do. Should I wait or move on? Thank you!

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    You should leave. Now that he has admitted that he doesn't love you, it's all downhill from here. And he will end up cheating on you and justifying it because he told you that he doesn't love you and you stayed anyway. Leave, and find someone who will love you.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    You should never stay with someone who doesn't love you back. You deserve to be loved in return and to be treated well.

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    You have EVERY reason NOT to be with this guy. A year and he has yet to fall in love with you, LDR, you fight all the time. Let me ask you this, what are you gaining from this relationship? If it's anything less than happiness, the relationship needs to end.

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    Good god what do you think?? isn't obvious? You should have dumped him ages ago, when he couldnt love you back.......waiting, hoping= big waste of time.
    The baby Jesus loves Muslims too! Hidden Content

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    Why start a relationship in the first place if he doesn't love you back?
    you already know that you should dump him, you just have to go for it.
    "It's all George's fault. All that talk about impotence. He got to me. And that orgasm stuff: orgasm this and orgasm that. It's a lot of pressure!" Jerry Seinfeld

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    Quote Originally Posted by vampiress View Post
    Why start a relationship in the first place if he doesn't love you back?
    Wait, what?

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    I'm sad all the time because I know he doesn't feel the same way and I don't know what to do.
    Why don't you know what to do?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    I'm tired of breaking up, I'm tired of dating, I just wanted this to work, especially because we have the same future plans in a year (to move to Germany) and he said we'll move in together there and it all seemed easier than to be alone. And I really love him, I've gotten used to speaking to him every day and it's really hard to let him go.

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    Clara, it kinda sounds like you knew the answer to your question before you asked it and you just needed an reaffirmation from others. If your gut feeling is telling you to go, I would listen to it. In the long run, it hurts more if you hang on.. you deserve someone who loves you back.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraS View Post
    I'm tired of breaking up, I'm tired of dating, I just wanted this to work, especially because we have the same future plans in a year (to move to Germany) and he said we'll move in together there and it all seemed easier than to be alone. And I really love him, I've gotten used to speaking to him every day and it's really hard to let him go.
    Clara, are you ok if he never says he loves you? If you're fine with never hearing it, because he said he's not sure if he ever will, then that's one thing.

    But if we completely put the L-word aside, you said "The thing is that the reason we fight is because he's cold to me, he doesn't want to see me that often, he never says I miss you (and we're long distance) and never does nice things for me". Why stay with someone who's cold and doesn't want to see you that often? I know dating is tiring, but a isn't a lifetime of a so-so relationship and eventual unhappiness much worse than sticking it out now and finding someone better for you?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraS View Post
    I'm tired of breaking up, I'm tired of dating, I just wanted this to work, especially because we have the same future plans in a year (to move to Germany) and he said we'll move in together there and it all seemed easier than to be alone. And I really love him, I've gotten used to speaking to him every day and it's really hard to let him go.
    Doll, honestly your settling and you'll never be happy with this man. I'd never recommend to you that you move to a strange country to be with this man. You'll be so alone within your relationship that you will lose all your joy. Imagine having no friends and living with someone who doesn't love you and is cold to you when he manages a minuite to be with you. Don't think for a second that being alone within a relationship would be easier than being alone all together.

    If you're tired of dating then take a break from it for a while and do some interspection as to what you want before you jump in with someone just for the sake of not being single.

    There are so many men in the world that are looking for woman who is well put together, happy in their own skin, have an interesting life and have a good sense of self-worth. Work to make yourself the best you that you can be independently and a good man will come into your life.

    I don't even know you and I know you deserve and can do better than what this indifferent douche bag could ever offer you.

    Do.Not.Settle.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraS View Post
    I'm tired of breaking up, I'm tired of dating, I just wanted this to work, especially because we have the same future plans in a year (to move to Germany) and he said we'll move in together there and it all seemed easier than to be alone. And I really love him, I've gotten used to speaking to him every day and it's really hard to let him go.
    How old are you?

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    I agree with everyone that this guy sounds like a douche. Seriously, does he do anything good for you? Does he have any redeeming features?

    I disagree with everyone that telling you he doesn't love you is a bad thing. Would you honestly want him to lie about it? The bad thing is it doesn't seem his feelings are growing for you.
    'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias View Post
    Wait, what?
    he clearly said he doesn't love her back, why had she even bothered to get into a relationship with him?
    "It's all George's fault. All that talk about impotence. He got to me. And that orgasm stuff: orgasm this and orgasm that. It's a lot of pressure!" Jerry Seinfeld

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