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Thread: Do guys get scared when they like a girl too much? Helppp!

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    Do guys get scared when they like a girl too much? Helppp!

    I dated this guy for 2 months. We seem to hit it off instantly; we got along very well. For a while he was almost obsessive; saying he ha never been happier with anyone else, I complete him, I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, etc. He even followed me home one night to make sure I got there safe. I don't think he wanted me for sex, because we didnt and he never pushed me to do it. He seemed like he just enjoyed being with me. He said he would do anything for me, and when we were together he would have. About 2 weeks before we broke up he got sort of distant; we still talked all the time but he wasn't as lovely dovey. When he ended it he said "you are a great girl and I had feelings I just think its best if I leave for the military single" (he is deploying soon for the navy) we haven't spoken since the breakup (2 weeks). In the 2 weeks he was distant the military seemed to be the Only thing on his mind. When my friend talked to him about it he seemed "upset" and like he didn't want to break up, he just had to. I've heard that he's shutting out a lot of other people. I guess it's just weird how he seemed to go from 100 mph to 0 that fast.. He acts like I don't exist at school. Do you think he got scared? Does it seem like he really cared about me? Any input is welcome. Thanks!(:

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    Why can't you just let this go? Who knows if he cares about you....I'm guessing not enough because he ended it....I think that's pretty obvious. The guy messed with your head too much dear, he is gone now, it's over.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 View Post
    I dated this guy for 2 months. We seem to hit it off instantly; we got along very well. For a while he was almost obsessive; saying he ha never been happier with anyone else, I complete him, I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, etc. He even followed me home one night to make sure I got there safe. I don't think he wanted me for sex, because we didnt and he never pushed me to do it. He seemed like he just enjoyed being with me. He said he would do anything for me, and when we were together he would have. About 2 weeks before we broke up he got sort of distant; we still talked all the time but he wasn't as lovely dovey. When he ended it he said "you are a great girl and I had feelings I just think its best if I leave for the military single" (he is deploying soon for the navy) we haven't spoken since the breakup (2 weeks). In the 2 weeks he was distant the military seemed to be the Only thing on his mind. When my friend talked to him about it he seemed "upset" and like he didn't want to break up, he just had to. I've heard that he's shutting out a lot of other people. I guess it's just weird how he seemed to go from 100 mph to 0 that fast.. He acts like I don't exist at school. Do you think he got scared? Does it seem like he really cared about me? Any input is welcome. Thanks!(:
    Well First thing, I will tell you the last.

    So the last advice is>>
    as from the description he seems to be in love with you, indeed in a deep love with you. And he is a very good man. probably he is cutting his distance so that no one is hurt if he is not their.
    If his intentions are like the above he is the best man to care for. I think so. But the reality is he will be away from you if he has made his mind for navy. Navy is good , but it separates. He care so much for his loved one that he is making distance so that no one is hurt later. Guys like him (I am assuming he will be like this, from you above description) are the best lover, as they care people not just bcz of infatuation, but indeed they love them.

    GUYS (WHO ARE NOT PROFESSIONAL IN TALKING TO GIRLS) GET SACRED WHEN THEY WANNA TALK SOMEONE THEY LIKE THE MOST> My blood pressure was low when I talked with the girl I like, it ain't I cant talk to girls , but to talk someone whom you like is really hard. Getting scared is not the reason I guess , bcz he has already said you he likes you. If boy say that they likes you they become the bravest , they don't care what it going to happen hence forth.(If the guy is really in love with a someone)

    The first advice as from the order of precedence is : every guy love sex , so its not correct that he do not want sex with you. But yeah , if a guy is in love with a girl, he will give his best to not do sex with anyone else apart from the girl he love. He may even sacrifice his desire and fantasy, if his partner do not like that , but Man Like sex.

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    Because I still have feelings for him. That's why. And yeah, I mean since he was upset when he said he had to end it that means he did actually like me. He just has to move on and leavr without having to worry about me. I guess I should just be glad he actually cared and not just wanted sex and move on.
    Last edited by Livelaughlove17; 27-03-12 at 03:13 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 View Post
    Because I still have feelings for him. That's why. And yeah, I mean since he was upset when he said he had to end it that means he did actually like me. He just has to move on and leavr without having to worry about me. I guess I should just be glad he actually cared and not just wanted sex and move on.
    Ok cool than, talk with him, tell him that you really like him. Discuss with him above thing, that do he thinks this way or its another way.
    I am sure you will be able to calibrate what he telling or explaining you then. His lies and truths all will be apparent then.
    I know being a girl you cannot go ahead and say that "I really like you and want to continue whats between us". But talking this way is not at all stupid. You are making things clear. For your self and for him.
    Juts explain him talk him. Make him clear what you are upto. and believe me he will believe every word of you if he likes you.

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    Yeah I want to, there's just 2 problems:
    1. I'm scared he doesn't want to talk to me yet, it hasn't been that long since the breakup.
    2. We can't be together because he's leaving anyways. Would it hurt me even more? I honestly don't know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 View Post
    Yeah I want to, there's just 2 problems:
    1. I'm scared he doesn't want to talk to me yet, it hasn't been that long since the breakup.
    2. We can't be together because he's leaving anyways. Would it hurt me even more? I honestly don't know.
    Ok I know it will hurt both. But you have to be practical. A talk will make things clear. An intelligent talk with least emotions can make things very clear. A conversation like this is the only solution to get what you want. You get either yes either no.
    And such answer make you stronger.

    Its really hard to talk that frankly, every one including me think that i will appear stupid If I will go ahead and talk. I may appear to much emotional fool if I go ahead and talk. Its not what it appears .And you are going to have conversation in private its all between you and him. Even if he comes to know you are stupid let him know, if he thinks so he don't deserve you (he will not think so if he loves you).

    Be brave once you are having such conversation, very frank conversation you will feel most satisfied with the results (likely or unlikely)

    So precise solutions to you above to problems:

    1.I'm scared he doesn't want to talk to me yet, it hasn't been that long since the breakup.
    Ans: If you talk calm and cool and juts talk very normally that you really like him and want to continue things further. he will certainly understand you. Don't go emotional in such situation just be cool and happy while you talk and even when it ends. But let him know that you really like him.
    Don't get scared, if you get scared this time you probability of getting him is Zero. Without talk nothing is going to happen.
    But only thing make sure that don't show you intense emotion , juts be cool and smiling , that you are discussing all this bcz you really like him.

    2. We can't be together because he's leaving anyways. Would it hurt me even more? I honestly don't know.

    Look if you don't talk him now and never , this will always hurt you . You cannot take more than what is written in you fate and no one can take things away from you is its all written in your fate. Only things is to put efforts.

    Juts balance yourself, as it is the need of the hour. A clear talk will really make you happy howsoever it ends.
    Last edited by John2find; 27-03-12 at 04:07 AM.

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    You are so right. Should I wait maybe a week or so when my emotions are a little more calm and I can handle it better? I feel like if I did it now I would just get really emotional.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 View Post
    You are so right. Should I wait maybe a week or so when my emotions are a little more calm and I can handle it better? I feel like if I did it now I would just get really emotional.
    Yeah take your time. But if he is leaving (for his duty) make sure that you talk on the day (that is one day prior to he is going to leave)before he leaves. No thumb rule ,but if he is in service it will be little difficult for you to go and talk with him in private.

    If you are talking him before the day he is leaving , make sure to make you message clear: "Give an honest answer , do you REALLY (give effort on this, so he can be sure what you are upto) like me" [and this should be done with smile , juts casual way of asking ]

    If he is already in service take enough time (not very enough but yeah you can take some time). if he is in service probably he will not get engaged with any one approx for a month and will be focusing more on his job than on love.
    So take some time get your self ready.
    just remember its going to happen what its going to happen, you can only do give you best effort. Intelligent people give their best and are happy with the results (because they know that they gave their best)

    Best of luck.

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    I mean honestly, my guess that he just doesn't want to be distracted in the military with me here, and ending it now seemed like the best idea. He's shutting out a lot of people so it's not just me. That's the only thing that makes sense. Do you think he will respond to me when I text him? That's the reason why I'm scared.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 View Post
    I mean honestly, my guess that he just doesn't want to be distracted in the military with me here, and ending it now seemed like the best idea. He's shutting out a lot of people so it's not just me. That's the only thing that makes sense. Do you think he will respond to me when I text him? That's the reason why I'm scared.
    Is it possible to have talk rather than text.
    text is all good but Phone is the best. Be brave, their is no one going to kill you for what you have to say. (but if you don't talk probably you will cry inside, if you are to serious for him and that is worst)
    Yeah he do not not to get distracted, that is true but if he likes you and you can have clear conversation , it will make thing a lot easier for both of you.
    he will come to know that what is more necessary >> ONLY his duty or His duty and you both.

    Ending the relation is even best , world is full of good people. Only thing you need to evaluate is "are you ready to bear the change ?"[In any way you have to bear the results]

    yes go ahead instead its the best I can say.

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    think rational , don;t let your emotions control you indeed control your emotions .

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    Yeah true. I mean, do you think his reason for breaking it off is a good one?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Livelaughlove17 View Post
    Yeah true. I mean, do you think his reason for breaking it off is a good one?
    Well, not that good one, when thinking rational and being intelligent.
    But we all (both boys and girls) do most silly mistakes by fleeing in emotions. Sit and think on, not with emotions but calmness what really our hearts wants.
    but even emotions play important role , but they must never overcome ones mind. Just try and find out is he really loving you (which you will come to know very surely after having conversation).

    If his thought are REALLY as such , that he is just breaking things now so that it don't pain later, then my views are:

    Its in a tie between good and bad decision.
    Good is because he will be too good soldier and has decided before going to battle that of need he will sacrifice himslef if needed and don't want other to get hurted.

    Bad because emotions can be stupid. We all will die some day that does not mean we should break the relationships.

    Juts talk him and try to understand do he really LIKED YOU AND LIKE YOU (even now)
    That all matter the most. And you will really come to know this, if you can have very clear conversation on this.

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    Yeahh. I mean, does it seem to you guys that he truly liked me for me?

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