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Thread: Should I tell my ex I met someone new?

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    Should I tell my ex I met someone new?

    So basically I still speak to my ex and we managed to stay friends after we broke up. I recently found someone new and I really like her and pretty sure we are going to end up in a relationship. I know it doesn't really concern my ex and that I don't need to tell her but I feel I should mention it to say that I am happy since I have found someone new and that cares for me since one of the reasons me and my ex broke up was because she knew wasn't in love with me so knew that she couldn't give me what I deserved.

    Its a weird situation since im still friends with my ex and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time she may get joy from knowing that I am happy since when we originally broke up I was devastated and heart broken.

    Whats peoples opinions or advice?

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    Cut the ex outa your life. Thats my advice
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    Yes, tell her. If she's just your friend then there's nothing to worry about.

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    I have a question, Simpo. Why would you even need to ask this question if you consider one another nothing more then the demoted state of "just friends?"
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    F-ing being "friends" with the exes. Sometimes it works...rarely. You obviously still care what your ex thinks about you and how she will feel when you start dating again. Why do you feel the need to pull on her heart strings by telling her? You should really question if you still have feelings for her or not. It wouldn't be fair to your potential new GF if you enter into a relationship still harboring feelings for your ex.

    Question - does your potential new GF know about your ex and that you are still friends with each other?

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    Simpo, it's pretty simple really. If she's truly "just a friend" she will be happy for you. But if she gets unhappy or jealous, then it's not appropriate to be her friend while dating someone else.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Go ahead and tell your friend about ur new love interest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maple1714 View Post
    F-ing being "friends" with the exes. Sometimes it works...rarely. You obviously still care what your ex thinks about you and how she will feel when you start dating again. Why do you feel the need to pull on her heart strings by telling her? You should really question if you still have feelings for her or not. It wouldn't be fair to your potential new GF if you enter into a relationship still harboring feelings for your ex.

    Question - does your potential new GF know about your ex and that you are still friends with each other?
    Yea she know that I still speak to her and we are still friends.

    I don't want to play with my ex's heart at all or do anything to deliberately hurt her. I will openly admit that I still care about my ex but not in the way I used to. I care about her as a friends and nothing more. I know she is going to be a bit hurt either way but not sure what is the best approach.

    Should I tell her I have met someone new or just wait until I change my facebook status to in a relationship or upload a pic of me and the new gf so she find out herself?

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    Oh FFS. Get over her. If you actually were, then you wouldn't be saying ^^^ that. You are no where near being ready to be in another relationship if you care that much what an EX is going to think, care so much that you don't just live your love life the way people do who are'nt still hung up on an ex that they no longer ever bother talking to.

    Ladies... keep away from men like Simpo that care so much about what their ex might think, that care so much that they hesitate to annouce you for fear of hurting her, that they won't put you first and just do what anyone else would do.. that being changing their status and or telling their JUST friend that they found someone new.

    Simp: Just how do you think your new potention partner is going to like your interaction with your past lover? Think!

    Man up and put your gf as your priority and quit worrying about your ex and her feelings of your new relationship. ppffft.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Simpo it is quite obvious you still want your ex back and your plan is she will one day want you back too if you stay her friend. *shaking my head*

    Sometimes I feel like an old woman. I feel like saying "young people today sigh" but I cant coz Im young lol... Anyway get rid of the ex, accept its over, stop pretending you are happy to just be her friend and give 100% to your new woman or else let her go.

    Reminds me of a song. Only need the light when its burning low, only miss the rain when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go.... and you let her go
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simpo View Post
    Yea she know that I still speak to her and we are still friends.

    I don't want to play with my ex's heart at all or do anything to deliberately hurt her. I will openly admit that I still care about my ex but not in the way I used to. I care about her as a friends and nothing more. I know she is going to be a bit hurt either way but not sure what is the best approach.

    Should I tell her I have met someone new or just wait until I change my facebook status to in a relationship or upload a pic of me and the new gf so she find out herself?
    How old are you Simpo?

    No, don't wait for your ex to read/see it on FB. If you still think it's a good idea to move froward with a new relationship, but feel the need to tell your ex....then just tell her causally and honestly that you are going to start dating someone. Sometimes *we* (people in general) can feel comfortable in the situation/state you sound like you're in. You have gotten over the heartbreak of the past relationship and *think* you are ok with being just friends...you really might truly be feeling fine about your friendship. But, deep down you have stronger feelings for your ex...the same feelings you had when you first met. The friendship is just the guise of your security and hope; you are still in each others lives under the guise of "close friends". Much like being in a relationship with her, but just no sex. So, you have gone out and found another girl to be romantic with and call "girlfriend"...all the while having your ex still fill certain needs and this "girlfriend" fill the other.

    You can have it all ya know. The best friend of the opposite sex and the romantic piece too. You just have to let go of the ex for good first. Just really try and think about what you want, and don't be too scared to go get it.
    Last edited by Maple1714; 24-07-13 at 10:56 PM.

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    I'm 19 turning 20 soon.

    I can see what your getting at but I can honestly 100% say that i dont want my ex back, I am 100% certain i dont want to enter a relationship with her ever again. Just talking to this new girl and discussing plans with her I can already tell that she is going to give me what I need and want. My ex barely ever put in the effort and didn't love me anywhere near what I loved her so I know that our relationship would never work. I think back on it as a lesson and it helped me understand what I am after from a relationship and she is definitely not any of those things. She was my "first love" as you say and also first gf, so i didn't know anything about love/relationships/girls etc but I know that I never want to get back with her so I am giving her 0% and 100% to my possible new gf.

    Lets just call her S for now but S has promised me all the cute and stupid things that I love and wants to put my happiness before her own (I wouldnt let her do this but the fact that she wants to shows me a lot). S truly cares about me and I truly care about her. If I do need to cut my ex out of my life for good so I can be with S then so be it but I don't see the point in losing a friend if it can be avoided since my ex is still a nice person and share a lot of similar interests.

    Basically I just wanted to know how people may of approached this situation before or been in a similar one. I've told a lot of my friends already about S so for all I know she could all ready know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simpo View Post
    I'm 19 turning 20 soon.

    I can see what your getting at but I can honestly 100% say that i dont want my ex back, I am 100% certain i dont want to enter a relationship with her ever again. Just talking to this new girl and discussing plans with her I can already tell that she is going to give me what I need and want. My ex barely ever put in the effort and didn't love me anywhere near what I loved her so I know that our relationship would never work. I think back on it as a lesson and it helped me understand what I am after from a relationship and she is definitely not any of those things. She was my "first love" as you say and also first gf, so i didn't know anything about love/relationships/girls etc but I know that I never want to get back with her so I am giving her 0% and 100% to my possible new gf.

    Lets just call her S for now but S has promised me all the cute and stupid things that I love and wants to put my happiness before her own (I wouldnt let her do this but the fact that she wants to shows me a lot). S truly cares about me and I truly care about her. If I do need to cut my ex out of my life for good so I can be with S then so be it but I don't see the point in losing a friend if it can be avoided since my ex is still a nice person and share a lot of similar interests.

    Basically I just wanted to know how people may of approached this situation before or been in a similar one. I've told a lot of my friends already about S so for all I know she could all ready know.
    Ok, then just keep moving forward and good luck. Just tell your ex next time you see/talk to her if you still feel the need.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simpo View Post
    So basically I still speak to my ex and we managed to stay friends after we broke up. I recently found someone new and I really like her and pretty sure we are going to end up in a relationship. I know it doesn't really concern my ex and that I don't need to tell her but I feel I should mention it to say that I am happy since I have found someone new and that cares for me since one of the reasons me and my ex broke up was because she knew wasn't in love with me so knew that she couldn't give me what I deserved.

    Its a weird situation since im still friends with my ex and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time she may get joy from knowing that I am happy since when we originally broke up I was devastated and heart broken.

    Whats peoples opinions or advice?
    The fact that you are asking this question means that you and your ex are not friends. Will you ever go to a forum and ask "should I tell my friend that I am dating a girl?" You just ask these type of questions for your ex who you are DESPERATELY TRYING to be friends with.

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    Well, just to update people. I told my ex that I met someone new and she says that she is happy for me and glad that I found someone since I deserve to have a special someone in my life. She does feel a bit down and sad since I'm moving on and she hasn't found anyone yet but says she will be okay. So all in all it went well and I am happy that I told her and can still remain friends with her although we don't really hang out any more

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