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11-07-10, 11:11 PM #1
Wonder if male coworker likes me?
I have been working with this coworker more than half a year. We sit next to each other, and in a row of 5 cabins, there is only him and I. We are also assigned to work in the same team. Both of us are at the same age and work as freelancer during off-time.
For the 3rd days since I started working there, he somehow noticed my habit of removing the watch, leave it on the table. and said to me that we have such same habit. I just replied smiles because I didn't know what to say! (But I still remember it due to this is the first time I meet a man who shares the same strange habit with me). And after few days, through chatting, he said to me he got big freelance project, I said wow, so remember to treat me! (but said it just for fun) Surprisingly, he bought me a bottle of fruit shake! Smiley. But I didn't have any special feeling, because I am still new worker there.
When I start to close to him. We make non-sense jokes at the cabins, in elevator or just teasing each other in front of the office door (if by chance we came to office at the same time). Sometimes I bought him sweet, because he said he likes sweet. One day, the office was out of electricity, both of us came late and our supervisor as well as the boss were also near our cabins. When we appeared together, they and other staffs made jokes about our "accidentally being late" and since then the rumors have started!
I don't mind because I am just in a complicated relationship, and don't have space-in-mind for such things. One day I met him at the elevator, we were late, and he said to me that he had his whole toenail removed due to it wrongly developed by the effects of playing football. I again made smiling respond! But I kept on wondering how come he told his personal things like that to me, or don't know if he tried to explain the reason he is late or what?
Sometimes, after finishing work, I played game or read fortune-teller website. I happened to open a good fortune-teller site. So I buzzed him and asked if he also wants to know. He said yes, and I asked his full name. He replied that how come I don't know his full name? (Too shy! I really didn't remember even all the working emails he sent to us which his full name is attached along Roll Eyes Cool). I tried to cover it and read for him. Then he asked how about love, I read for him. And suddenly he said wrong, because before he had but in fact he is single now! Then I went on another topic, forgot about the detail of "single" ones.
Few days ago, a coworker sent us wedding invitation, during reading it, I made joke about its blanks 'Ms. and ....' for me and 'Mr. and...' for him, I said to the groom that it will be perfect if we combine our blanks together! Three of us bursted to laugh and he also agreed! After that, he told me if I dont know the wedding location, I can pass by his house and we will go there (the wedding location is near his house).
And days later, another coworker from different team asked us if we would join them to visit the beach (on the same day with the wedding). Of course I can't, and so can him. The coworker ask why both of us are busy at the same day, what about the evening or the next day? Both of us said no, he joked that I will go to see his parents, and with the next day question, both of us made same replied that I will not let him go!
Just last week, he ask my favor to buy some CDs for his sister. He copied all the text his sister sent to him, and asked if I can help. Of course I can do because the shop is near my house. But again, he makes me wonder because there is no need to show in details what his sister wrote to him, as well as her id?
I don't know if I think too much or start to... like him. If really I like him, what about him? Is he just acting in polite manner or what else is hidden?
These days I always think about him, and I really feel uncomfortable with it. He is quite handsome, very well - talking, small (short and thin), while I am very big, not taller than him, but sometime in his joke, he told me Ms. Incredible or Ms. Meat! Lips Sealed
(About my complicated relationship, I haven't met my bf for more than 1 year).
Hope to hear all of your advice. Smiley
11-07-10 11:11 PM # ADSInfobot Registered User
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12-07-10, 09:20 AM #2
Work relationships, especially ones where you work side-by-side are never a good idea. Besides, did I read correctly that you have some sort of boyfriend too?
12-07-10, 11:52 AM #3
i had a hard time following the post but there are some pointers i can tell you to help. first of all, guys may be known for treating girls like crap, but when a guy actually likes a girl, he's usually a completely different person. From what I gathered, you guys are just good friends. Also it depends on his personality type. If he's a friendly, outgoing person, he could just love teasing you to make your friendship stronger. Try to note how he acts around other girls. If he acts the same around his other female friends, chances are he doesn't like you.
12-07-10, 02:26 PM #4
Work and relationships... don't do it. Doesn't mix well.
12-07-10, 08:24 PM #5
Sounds like he is in to you. Us guys will find any small detail to make small talk because small talk leads to bigger conversation and bigger conversations leads to laughter and everybody likes laughter cuz it makes them feel good.
Since he smiles at you, I believe so.
As for your BF, you have to decide what you want to do about it before you proceed.To be or not to be?
Is that the question?
12-08-10, 02:48 AM #6
Thanks all for your replies.
@lahnnabell: Yes I have a bf.
@mindtraps: I am sorry for making you confused, because I dont know how to express things in Western style
@CAM: I have been thinking about it.
@ Nice Lover Boy: I dont know why I like your reply most may be because I am now dreaming of him lol.
About my bf, I tried to contact to him online, gave him chance to meet me by asking him if he wants me to help him some stuffs for his work, just sends msg and arranges a date. He also agreed, said missing me so much, blah, blah... but until now... nothing happens!
And about the co worker, I had chance to go out with him, just participated in a conference of the company (the company dont force us to join, I just asked him to go, and he agreed to go there for fun, but our appearances at the conference made others staff surprise, they secretly stared at us, even didnt share the same table where we have drinks!). He drove me and on the way back to the office, he told me about some conflicts, his likes and hates in the company.
That moment is what I like most .
I know I start to like him and think about him but at least those feelings make me feel better . But yesterday through chats, he asked me if I can consult him about leaving and get new job. My heart was a little bit broken after hearing it. I was trying to persuade him to stay, (am I too selfish? ), then our chats was interrupted due to he was busy for some stuffs. Since then, he didnt mention of it. But later, I couldnt bear, and reminded him, said if he leaves I will be very sad. He just joked back and didnt share anything more!
Now I am thinking of... showing him my interest to him... Is it really good?
12-08-10, 02:53 AM #7
So, you still haven't broken up with the boyfriend you obviously don't have any feelings for?
12-08-10, 03:01 AM #8
You should probably leave your bf and see what happens. I know lots of people who met their significant others in the workplace. It's not uncommon and is actually becoming more and more common these days because people do not have a lot of time outside of the workplace. If you are an employee there and he is an employee, I don't see anything wrong with it. Just be prepared when if it doesn't work out. You'll never know if you don't try.
Despite what some other people have said, I think you both like each other and hsould pursue it.I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.
12-08-10, 08:15 PM #9
If your Co-Worker wants to get a different job, support it all the way! This is even better! Starting a relationship with a co-worker and going to the same building will get bored. But after you both get out of work from your different jobs, then you guys can hang out for some coffee or dinner.....BUT! you have to fix the problem first with your BF ofcourse. Good luck!To be or not to be?
Is that the question?
03-09-10, 12:07 AM #10
Thanks again for your comments and advices
@ Raze: Both of us are employee, he is designer and my job is like copywriter and proofreader.
@ Nice Lover Boy:
He hasn't mentioned to me his thought of leaving the company anymore. May be no need, or may be considering! At the beginning of Aug, he asked me showing him how to create charts on MS.Word, because he wanted to check and manage his spending, and of course, through that, I know average amount he spends a month. I also advised him to note down all his other incomes as it will help him to control the sources of his money. Then just yesterday, he showed me his sum spending of this month on the computer screen (but not made as the chart I showed him). I just said: "Too much you spend!", he also agreed.
When we left the office for home, he suddenly said that, his male friend - a person I met at another coworker's wedding - liked me and asked about me. He also told me what he talked to that man about me such as: she is very sociable, but don't dream of her because her salary is very high. Then he asked but if I want, he will introduce that man to me! (That really surprised and confused me!) I just smiles and tried to change topic (like, ya, got new cap?)
I dont know why he is sometime on and off like that, but these days I've tried not to think of him to much , simply because I noticed that he always chats with a girl whenever finishing his works, and 2 times I heard a girl calling him on his phone with very intimate voice.
@all: My boyfriend, I decided to call him, let him know my new cell no., his voice was as fun as usual, immediately recognized my voice although it's been 1 and half a year we dont meet each other. I asked if he is ok, then chit chat about his job, my family member,... but no mention about love although I really hoped and wished we will talk about that. Then due to miscommunication, I hang up and thought we will have online chat! I removed my invisible status on his icon, and left offline msg: "There?". Today, when I get online, he is invisible, but doesn't mind to reply me. I dont know why he acts like that to me? Shy because of he is jobless now? or scare of me?
Really I am hurt too much, but I dont know how to let him know my hurt feeling, dont know what to do, still want an exact answer, but dont want to act because of being afraid of sadness, hurt..., scare of returning to the misery period right after our fighting.
03-09-10, 12:18 AM #11
Well, you haven't broken it off with your boyfriend. Doesn't matter if you haven't seen him in a year, you're still committed to him. You need to break up with him before you seriously start pursuing another man.
However, I'm guessing you won't do that after this co-worker has decided to flip-flop on you. You were expecting to run straight from your boyfriend to this new guy once things got going, but they're not, so you're content to stay with your man until you find a new game plan.
Yeah, I'm not helping you anymore. Figure it out for yourself.
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