خرید vpn خرید کریو
Can I make him forgive me?

User Tag List

+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Unhappy Can I make him forgive me?

    I'm 29 and have been living with my boyfriend for 5 years. Last year we encountered a rough patch and I felt neglected and unloved and like all respect had gone from our relationship. Unfortunately during this time I got very drunk and kissed another man. I confessed and times were very difficult for a while but eventually my boyfriend decided to forgive me. The problem is that over a year on and he has not forgiven me. Most days he will refer to what I did and how much I hurt him. I have apologised over and over again and tried to modify my behaviour to show him that I am truly sorry and to try and regain his trust. I don't want to lose him but it is so hard knowing how much he is still hurting and also it is not easy living with constant reminders that I am the bad guy. I just don't know what to do for the best.

  2. # ADS
    Infobot Registered User
    Join Date
    Always
    Posts
    Many
     
  3. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    15,082
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You need to leave. Sorry, but if he says he forgives you but continues to drag you through the muck, your relationship will never recover. He doesn't know how to let it go and is being vindictive. Based on the nature of your crime, sounds to me his behaviour has been as bad, or worse than whatever you did. No wonder you felt disrespected and went looking for affection elsewhere.

    Some people use situations like this to their advantage and as a point of control. That's not fair. What you did was wrong, yes. You've done your best to apologize and seem to have learned your lesson. The fact you made a mistake doesn't mean he gets to hold it over you the rest of your relationship.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  4. Thanks smackie9, vashti thanked for this post
  5. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    13,505
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    22 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by etrange View Post
    I'm 29 and have been living with my boyfriend for 5 years. Last year we encountered a rough patch and I felt neglected and unloved and like all respect had gone from our relationship. Unfortunately during this time I got very drunk and kissed another man. I confessed and times were very difficult for a while but eventually my boyfriend decided to forgive me. The problem is that over a year on and he has not forgiven me. Most days he will refer to what I did and how much I hurt him. I have apologised over and over again and tried to modify my behaviour to show him that I am truly sorry and to try and regain his trust. I don't want to lose him but it is so hard knowing how much he is still hurting and also it is not easy living with constant reminders that I am the bad guy. I just don't know what to do for the best.
    You need to communicate to him that he doesn't get to "forgive you" and keep you around to punish you at the same time. Next time he starts tell him that you're not going to allow him to keep punishing you for something that needs to be dropped if he wants this relationship to continue. If he keeps it up then you might as well just leave now because if you use how he treats you as an excuse to do inappropriate things and to cross relationship boundaries then if you stay in the status quo, sooner rather than later you will be seeking the attentions of another man (or men) once again. Learn to communicate effectivel so that You don't keep repeating mistakes and so that he understands the difinition of forgivness.

    Tell him that forgiving means NOT doing what he has been doing. Forgiveness means putting something behind you a striving to improve your life together without the "mistake" hanging over both your heads. If he can't stop then he's not forgiven and then leave the realationship.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 01-07-12 at 07:37 AM.

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,327
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Was it your failure to communicate to him how you felt before it happened? If you did say something was it his lack of effort to resolve it? What was this rough patch?
    If I could change my name it would be Happy Camper

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    94
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Create your own website & blog! No programming knowledge required!
    MXHUB Website Builder

    Well, I think his the one who have the problem here. Have you considered counselling? Maybe a professional advice would be best.

Similar Threads

  1. How do I make my girlfriend forgive me?
    By brokenheart20 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 20-10-10, 11:22 AM
  2. Should i forgive her?
    By i dunno in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 21-12-09, 10:13 AM
  3. How to forgive him?
    By purple flowers in forum Broken Hearts Forum
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 23-02-09, 03:55 AM
  4. Would you forgive your bf if he hit you?
    By shakey in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 13-05-07, 06:41 AM
  5. could for forgive
    By gaddes in forum Intimate Forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 19-03-07, 11:11 PM

Thread Participants: 4

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •