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Thread: Can I make him forgive me?
01-07-12, 06:14 AM #1
Can I make him forgive me?
I'm 29 and have been living with my boyfriend for 5 years. Last year we encountered a rough patch and I felt neglected and unloved and like all respect had gone from our relationship. Unfortunately during this time I got very drunk and kissed another man. I confessed and times were very difficult for a while but eventually my boyfriend decided to forgive me. The problem is that over a year on and he has not forgiven me. Most days he will refer to what I did and how much I hurt him. I have apologised over and over again and tried to modify my behaviour to show him that I am truly sorry and to try and regain his trust. I don't want to lose him but it is so hard knowing how much he is still hurting and also it is not easy living with constant reminders that I am the bad guy. I just don't know what to do for the best.
01-07-12 06:14 AM # ADSInfobot Registered User
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01-07-12, 06:53 AM #2
You need to leave. Sorry, but if he says he forgives you but continues to drag you through the muck, your relationship will never recover. He doesn't know how to let it go and is being vindictive. Based on the nature of your crime, sounds to me his behaviour has been as bad, or worse than whatever you did. No wonder you felt disrespected and went looking for affection elsewhere.
Some people use situations like this to their advantage and as a point of control. That's not fair. What you did was wrong, yes. You've done your best to apologize and seem to have learned your lesson. The fact you made a mistake doesn't mean he gets to hold it over you the rest of your relationship.Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
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01-07-12, 07:34 AM #3
Tell him that forgiving means NOT doing what he has been doing. Forgiveness means putting something behind you a striving to improve your life together without the "mistake" hanging over both your heads. If he can't stop then he's not forgiven and then leave the realationship.
Last edited by Wakeup; 01-07-12 at 07:37 AM.
01-07-12, 07:43 AM #4
Was it your failure to communicate to him how you felt before it happened? If you did say something was it his lack of effort to resolve it? What was this rough patch?My advice or chat is always free. Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/smackie9loveadvisor?fref=ts
01-07-12, 10:51 AM #5
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