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14-02-12, 02:29 PM #1
Girlfriend broke up with me, wants to be friends. Can we get back together?
So, my girlfriend broke up with me because we're not compatible and don't understand each other. We are different people, but it didn't stop me from liking her, or her me. I still like her and want to be with her, and I think she feels for me still too. She said she hopes to be friends. The day after she said she still cares about me and started reminiscing about us and wanted to know how I was holding out. I told her I'm fine, it was unfortunate things didn't work out but I'm okay, and we can still talk.
I didn't contact her despite that but the day after, she would text me about how she did on her midterm, or ask me about my day, or what she ate and whatnot. We've only been apart for 3 days. I'm wondering if there's a chance we could end up back together, and if so, how would I go about doing that?
14-02-12 02:29 PM # ADSInfobot Registered User
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14-02-12, 08:06 PM #2
Theres always a chance jimbobob, but i think you need some clarification here. From your point of view it's great that she still texts, but it's not doing your state of mind any good. I'd be tempted to say if she is who you want to be with then press it, but i can't see that working here
Give her her time and space, you don't have to respond to texts such as what she ate for Dinner. It's early days, and it's tough for her too, iv'e always said dumping someone is harder than being dumped
I think you need to get to the root of what "compatible" means. That's the most important thing
Hope it works out, but be realistic
16-02-12, 07:48 AM #3
Jimbobob, I went through something similar with my ex. Right now you are at a very vulnerable stage in the break up and I suggest making sure you prioritize your feelings first... meaning don't feel like you have to stay in contact with your ex just because she wants to remain "friends". The reason being, when my ex broke up with me she still wanted to remain friends by talking and hanging out, which left me the one hurting me in the long run. She more or less wanted the perks of having a relationship with me, but without the status of a committed relationship... which gave her the freedom to date other guys while I was in the background trying to get her back. I ended up telling her I could no longer keep contact with her. It wasn't until I started the no contact rule that I felt better about the situation. As long as you keep in touch with her it's going to keep you from healing and moving on in my opinion. Women often say they want to be friends after a break up because it makes it easier on them to deal with it... takes the guilt away from them. Please don't give your ex that power and choice in this situation. She broke up with you so she shouldn't have the privilege of having you in her life. You are more likely to win her back by going no contact than you are by remaining friends with her. She could even be using you as a standby or rebound. Don't you value yourself and your feelings more than what this person is giving you credit for? You deserve someone who wants to be with you. Not someone who dumps you and then expects you to still be in her life(being her slave). Now is time for you to focus on you and learn from this relationship. Doing so will catapult you to a new level. Will it be easy? No. I went through a very tough time with my break up, but I'm glad I went through it all because I'm a new man. Having no contact with her made all the difference in my world. You even mentioned that you both are "not compatible and don't understand each other", so be careful about wanting to get back with someone who isn't on the same page as you. More than likely if you get back together she will just end up dumping you again. Not trying to be negative, but I have been in scenarios like this. I am using the voice of reason here.
16-02-12, 08:32 AM #4
She wants to demote you from boyfriend to "just friend?" Hows that feel?
Stop jumping when she texts. She wants the emotional connection to you but she is now free to date other guys and keep you hooked until she gets a new one in which case your demotion to "just friends' will then be demoted to "ocassional dude I say Hi to."
If you want her back, first you have to let her go and if she doesn't come back as wanting to be your girlfriend in the non-platonic sense, then you'll have been emotionally healing from her in the meantime.
19-02-12, 12:52 AM #5
Perhaps she likes the attention so stop replying to her at all. Remember you were dumped (i.e judged not good enough) by her. Frankly I would not give her the time of day.
23-02-12, 09:51 AM #6
jimbo, this is just a way for your ex to stay in touch with you and not tear your heart apart. Girls do this. When they say, "I hope we can still be friends", it doesn't mean that you guys can still hang out. It just means that she doesn't want to tear your heart apart once she starts dating other guys. Girls don't want to look like skanks so they give you the perception of a friend instead. It's time to move on.To be or not to be?
Is that the question?
24-02-12, 04:36 AM #7
Don't bother wasting your time with her. It didn't work out so stop forcing hope of getting back together. She is just comfortable with having you around, and likes the familliarity, but she will move on eventually and date someone else soon enough.My advice or chat is always free. Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/smackie9loveadvisor?fref=ts
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